I told her she didn’t need to bend over backward, and she wasn’t. But like. Maybe, just maybe, we were getting close to unravelling the secret of my sister’s truancy.
Speaking of said sister, I wished I could have been a fly on the wall of her brain after she heard that speech. She looked dumbfounded for a couple of seconds before she finally accepted that she couldn’t escape her fate.
So she sighed. “There’s no giving you the slip, huh?”
Then she turned to me. “Sorry, Oneechan. Can you give me and Mai some space?”
“Huh?” I said, bewildered.
“Please?” My sister placed her hands together in a pleading gesture.
I mean, giving her space wasn’t an issue. It was just, what for? You know? I could feel the question mark popping up over my head. Maybe it was something too hard to tell her family. Or maybe she felt she could open up only to Mai.
“Would you be a dear and give us a few moments alone?” Mai asked.
I nodded. “Uh, sure. Okay. I’ll make a quick run to the bathroom.”
“Oh, hold on.” Mai pointed. “If that restroom is full, you might try that other one over there.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I didn’t quite get what that was all about, but I nodded and got up. After I took a few steps, I turned back. Neither said a word. They looked like they were waiting for me to leave entirely. What the heck? Some weird feeling—loneliness?—welled up from the depths of my brain. I wasn’t sure why I felt that way, but then again, I really wasn’t the most emotionally intelligent person to begin with.
Incidentally, neither restroom seemed full, but I didn’t put too much thought into it and headed off to the one Mai had indicated. And then, as I was halfway down the hallway, I realized I could hear my sister saying, “And then, like, when that happened… Mumble, mumble, mumble. So what else was I supposed to do? Mumble mumble mumble.” Thanks to one of those ornamental plant divider thingies, I hadn’t noticed that this bathroom was directly behind our table. If I pricked my ears, I could hear snippets of their conversation.
Ah ha. Had Mai planned all this from the start? Was that why she picked this hotel? Holy cow. Mai was out here playing 4D chess on my behalf.
“Hm,” I heard Mai say. “Mumble mumble. So you’re saying…mumble mumble.”
I stood stock-still. I could only half hear what they were talking about. My next move was now entirely up to me: Listen in? Give them privacy? There was a serious tone in my sister’s voice that I pretty much never heard her use, ever. I knew eavesdropping on her in such a moment of vulnerability was really, really wrong…but I was also really, really worried about my sister. And beggars couldn’t be choosers. If I had a better grasp of the situation, then maybe I could do something for her, even if she never found out. My sister’s precious junior high years were slipping away, minute by minute. And that just didn’t sit right with me.
I balled my hands into fists. I had to. It was for my sister’s own good. I had to. I had to…
Maybe ten minutes later, my sister texted me, “Hey, I’m done.” When I got back, I found them both pretty much as I had left them. I knew they were trying to act like Shit hadn’t just gone down, but I didn’t know what the Shit was. You know?
“Hi there, Oneechan,” my sister said.
“Hi there, yourself.”
“Sorry we took so long.”
“Don’t mention it.” I took a sip of my now cold herbal tea. But even with my whistle wetted, I still found it difficult to get my words out. “Are you guys, uh. Finished?”
“Yeah, for now.”
“Huh. Okay.”
I didn’t meet Mai’s eye. Instead, I looked down at my lap. I felt stuffed with unpleasant emotions, not unlike the sensation of a full stomach after a meal.
My sister smiled like nothing was wrong. “That hit the spot,” she said. “Should we start heading home?”
Mai took us back in the limo and dropped us off at our doorstep.
“Thank you so much!” my sister said as she gave Mai a huge bow. “You’re the best.”
After Haruna went inside, Mai said to me, “And this is where we must part.” Her voice carried a soft, gentle timbre. “Good night, Renako.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Hm?”
“After everything you set up for me, I just…I just couldn’t bring myself to eavesdrop on you guys.” I formed tight fists with my hands and hugged them to my chest. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me. No, so long as you made your choice, you don’t owe me any apologies at all.”
I took a good look at Mai and the limousine behind her. Her beautiful golden locks seemed to gleam in the starlight. It was almost like she was shining with some inner light of her own.
God, Mai was really, really kind. Look at her, telling me she didn’t need my apologies. But I disagreed. She did need my apologies, and so I shook my head.
“No, I do. I don’t know what I was thinking. I should have listened in if it would’ve helped my sister. But I couldn’t even do that.”
Honestly, I’d been nothing but a real pain in the butt lately. I knew that my sister spilled her heart to Mai because Mai was so awesome like that. Anyone would open up to her. I, on the other hand, was a failure of a big sister. If my sister clammed up any harder around me, she would’ve made pearls. I knew all that, and I was okay with that. Or I least I thought I was okay with that. But I just… I just…
“I don’t…think I’m good enough to listen to her,” I said.
“Oh, Renako.” Mai placed her hand on the top of my head. “We all have things we’re capable of. And, conversely, things we aren’t.”
That hit, and it hit hard. I thought she was trying to cheer me up—tell me that there was no point fussing over something that was plain impossible for me—but it only widened the abyss inside me.
But that actually wasn’t quite what Mai meant. Because she said, “What I did for your sister, anyone else could have done. However, there are some things that are all up to you.”
“Wait, what are you talking about?” I lifted my head.
“Like the way you always take my hand so sweetly,” Mai said. “There are things you can do that I simply can’t.” She smiled at me. “What, do you think so badly of Satsuki and Ajisai too, just because they failed to convince your sister?”
Now I suddenly found the ability to speak up. “No way!” I didn’t think any less of Satsuki-san or Ajisai-san just because they couldn’t do everything. They were plenty capable. In fact, there were tons of things only they could do, as I knew very well. They were incredible people, and because I knew how amazing they were, I didn’t think poorly of them. Just because they were, what, not omnipotent?
“The same applies to you,” Mai said. “Yes, but I suppose Haruna-kun did let me into her confidence. I could tell you everything, but I fear it would do little to alleviate your worries.”
“There’s no need. She’d just get mad at you.”
“Still, I can tell you one thing.” Mai ran a hand through my hair before it came to a rest cradling my cheek. “Haruna-kun appreciates everything you do.”
“Wait, me? What did I do?”
Mai just giggled, the tease. “You’re so oblivious when it comes to yourself. If you have any bad points to speak of, that might be one of them.”
I didn’t know what to say in response to that. What the heck was she laughing for?
Was it true, though? Were there some things that were all up to me? Not gonna lie, that really hit home. Couldn’t have told you why, but it did. You know, Mai was always telling me the things I needed to hear. She always supported me by having faith in me whenever I couldn’t believe in myself. Man, you know what? Thanks, Mai.
“But…” I began. There was something almost too surreal, too dreamlike in my voice. “Sure, there are some things that are beyond me right now. But I want to learn to be able to do them someday. That’s why I’m trying my best, you know?”
“I know.”
My voice was so thin it could have blown away on the autumn breeze, but Mai caught it and held it firm. She put her arms around me and held me too.
“I believe in you, Renako,” she said.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Now, goodnight. Give my love to your family.”
And with that, Mai and her limousine drove away. I stood there and watched the receding taillights for a good few moments. Then I clenched my fists. There were a lot of unpleasant, muggy feelings inside of me, but now things felt just a little bit better. Mai’s kindness made all the difference.
It was time to strike while the iron was hot. This tiny ember of courage in my heart would be extinguished in seconds! Run, Renako, run!
All but barreling across the floor, I dashed to my sister’s room and barged in without knocking. She yelped in surprise—I’d just stormed in on her changing.