We both fell silent—Mai, bashful and me, suddenly nervous. Oh god, I needed something to talk about. Stat! Anything would work, so I thrust my hand into the invisible box in my head marked “Conversation topics.” By a stroke of luck, my hand brushed a ball inside. I grabbed it, yanked it out, and thrust it in Mai’s face.
“Oh hey, so I had this conversation with Satsuki-san earlier,” I began.
Because written on the ball was “What’s the whole purpose of going to school, anyway?” Not a bad choice, me. Or so I thought.
But then Mai said, “Goodness, you and Satsuki are awfully close.”
“Huh?!” So much for getting the conversational ball rolling. Here came the price of invoking Satsuki-san’s name twice in such quick succession.
Look, Mai had the wrong idea. Satsuki-san could leave a strong impact on anybody. Which meant she left me with a lot of things to think about. No more, no less.
Now flustered, I asked, “S-sorry, are you jealous?”
That delightfully funny phrase of Mai’s (“I’m absolutely not jealous. Duh.”) hovered in the back of my mind. (Looking back on it, it struck me as cute more than anything.)
Mai looked like she was about to say something, but then she fell silent. She turned to face the window and muttered, “Maybe so.”
Urgh. Her shyness was really, really cute. There went my heart rate again. It was no fair! Mai was always Uber McCool Girl around everyone else, but she acted hella cute around me and only me. I dared anyone to see this and not fall for her.
Okay, heartbeat, now’s not the time for you to do your thang, I told it. I had to reassure Mai. After all, she was only upset because I was being a bad partner.
“I-it’s okay, Mai,” I said. “I, uh. Um. I really l-l-like you. Don’t worry!”
My delivery was about as good as a wonkily folded paper airplane, but hey. I said it!
Mai smiled back, as airily as a gentle breeze. “I know. Thank you, Renako, and I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Oh?”
I mean, this was my lack of virtue to blame—that I gave Mai so much room to doubt my fidelity, that is. Which I almost said out loud, but then I realized I would probably get all defensive and aggressive about it. So I shut up. I’d just have to keep trying to do better.
And instead, I said, “H-hey, uh…what sort of things do I do that make you jealous?”
If we could establish a precedent of what the accused (Ms. Amaori R.) did to make the plaintiff (Ms. Oduka M.) jealous, we could take steps to prevent this incident from ever happening again. Or so was my rationale. Basically, I wanted to learn more about envy. I’d only taken my first baby steps into learning about jealousy. Now it was time to take on Mai’s.
Mai looked torn. She tilted her head, her blonde hair swishing around her. “I’m not sure how much of the truth I should share.”
“Please, go into as much detail as possible.”
“Mm…” I could tell she was on the fence about speaking up, but she finally gave in to my pestering. “Well, I suppose. Truth be told, just about everything you do makes me jealous.”
“Just about, huh?”
Fascinating. Apparently, the only way to make her not jealous was locking me away from the outside world inside her apartment. Which was not exactly the easiest thing to do.
Mai cleared her throat and went on. “Mind you, jealousy isn’t measured in a binary—that is, whether one is jealous or not. Jealousy is a gradation, or at least that’s how it seems to me.”
It sounded like an excuse, but I said, “Sure, I get it.”
Like it wasn’t just ones and zeroes. It was scattered all the way from one to a hundred. Kinda like romantic feelings.
“It’s a rather complex emotion,” Mai said. “Particularly when Satsuki is involved. You know how she hates losing to me.”
“S-sorry,” I said and immediately bowed. I picked up on the unspoken “So I feel especially jealous when you kiss her.” Come on, Mai, we were just friends. It wasn’t what it looked like. (Unless?)
“On the flip side, I’m actually less jealous now about your interactions with Ajisai. For a time, I considered her my biggest threat. That is, before she asked you out.”
“Wait, seriously?”
“Ajisai-san” and “threat” didn’t belong in the same sentence.
“Well, she’s quite attractive. Naturally, I never let my feelings sour my friendship with her.”
“Huh. Okay.”
When Ajisai-san confided in me that Mai had given her a push to ask me out, I thought, “Oh my god, Mai’s hecka nice”…and immediately remembered how Ajisai-san once said Mai was too straightforward and awkward for her own good. Which didn’t sound like her, not at first blush. Mai could do anything with grace. But you know what? Maybe that was true after all.
There was something special about Mai, something I didn’t comprehend. And that was the reason why I wouldn’t change her for the world. Not even if it cost me. That “something” was what motivated her to flee to France after Ajisai-san and I got together. And, man, you know what? After enough time had passed, I found that really endearing.
That’s why I reached out and gave Mai’s hand a squeeze. She grunted, but she let me hold her hand. You know what, Mai? I thought at her. You’re really darn cute.
“Wait, and Kaho-chan?” I asked.
Mai tilted her head in confusion. “What about Kaho-chan?”
“Oh, I’m still talking about the jealousy thing. Have you ever gotten jealous of me and Kaho-chan?”
“Of you and her…?” Mai looked beyond baffled. Was Kaho-chan not even on her radar?
“Uh, yeah?” I said. “The person who literally asked you out?”
“She did…?”
“What, did you forget?!”
“Ahh, all right. It’s ringing a bell. Well, she’s very cute. A delightfully charming young woman, you might say. Seeing you and her together warms my heart. In France, we call such lovely sprites la fée. She’s like the fairy who turned the pumpkin into Cinderella’s coach.” Mai chuckled.
“Do you legit think Kaho-chan’s a fairy?!” I asked.
It was a shocking reveal. Ajisai-san adored Kaho-chan unconditionally; Mai saw her as a fairy. But it made sense—fairies were tricksters, after all. Mai kinda had a point.
Just then, we entered my neighborhood. “We shall arrive momentarily,” Hanatori-san said, cutting our conversation short. Wow. She’d memorized the whole way to my house. I almost felt bad.
I sent my sister another message as Hanatori-san parked the car and let me out. I pushed open the front door and marched to my sister’s room. “Hey!” I yelled. “Let’s get a move on!”
I found my sister sitting in her desk chair. She swiveled to look at me, and since I didn’t have anyone else with me, she made no secret of her displeasure. “What’s this all about?” she said. “Why’d you text me out of nowhere and tell me we’re going out?”
“You complain, but you still got dressed,” I pointed out. She even looked pretty good. My sister was tall for a junior high schooler and acted mature for her age. Most of the time, she seemed more like an older sister than me, much to my annoyance.
“Duh. You said Mai-senpai was coming over.”
“Yup. Now, c’mon. Let’s go.”
I made a U-turn and went back outside.
Mai turned on the charm and the beaming smile. “Why hello, Haruna-kun. It has been far too long.”
“M-Mai-senpai! It’s great to see you.” My sister bowed. Her smile was as bright as the screen on her phone turned up to max. I knew this was beating a dead horse, but the way she acted with anyone older than her—sans me, of course—was waaay different than her usual attitude. If she had been anyone else’s little sister but mine, maybe I could’ve learned to like her. Nah, who am I kidding? She was too damn peppy. I would never have gone near her.
“My apologies for the sudden invite,” Mai said. “I hope you had enough time to get ready.”
“Yes! I’m always ready for you. You can call me up twenty-four-seven!”
My sister fell in step behind Mai. I had already told my mom we were going to get dinner with a friend, so all three of us left without further ado and marched right back to the limo.
“Whoa!” my sister exclaimed. “Is that car yours?”
Heh heh heh. Her amazement stroked my ego. Why so startled, Sis? It’s just your everyday limo. What, are those so rare? I mean, I wasn’t saying that out loud because it wasn’t, like, my limo. But you got the idea.
Hanatori-san stepped out of the driver seat and opened the door for my sister. “Here you are, miss,” she said.
My sister squealed. Why so squealy, Sis? She’s only the hired help. Oh, and did I ever mention that she once personally bathed me? Okay, I really wasn’t saying that out loud. Hanatori-san would have given me a death glare.
My sister turned as stiff as a board and squeaked, “O-okay!” She clambered into the car and took the middle seat while Mai and I sat on either side of her. The car was so big, though, that it wasn’t cramped at all.
“Oh my god,” Haruna said. “Oh. My. God. These cushions are lighter than air. Holy cannoli.”
She poked the seat. Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh heh.
The car rumbled to life. My sister was on cloud nine for a couple of seconds before she (ignored me and) turned to Mai. She asked, “Uh, where exactly are we going?”