After making my return voyage to the capital and receiving an official welcome back, I retired to my own room at last. With Sebas keeping an eye out for threats, I could relax there.
Also in my room, as a matter of course, was Finne.
She watched with a smile as I lay back on the sofa and let out a deep sigh, and then she began preparing tea. It was those ordinary, uneventful moments that were indescribably comforting.
"I'm so glad to finally be home."
"You must have had quite an adventure," Finne giggled and offered me a cup of tea, then remained standing nearby.
I couldn't figure out why she seemed to be in such a good mood, so I brought it up between sips.
"You sure seem to be cheerful today."
"Do I? Hmm, yes. I suppose I am in high spirits."
"Did something good happen?"
"Yes. You came back."
"Of course I came back. This is my room."
"Yes. This is your room and your home, where you can always come back to. You know, Master Arn... I can't protect you like Lady Elna, and I'm not smart like Miss Lynphia. I doubt I'll ever be of any great service to you."
"Finne...?"
Was she still bothered by that? I looked up in mild surprise only to be confused by what I saw. Finne didn't look gloomy at all. In fact, her expression was quite cheerful.
"There's one thing I know I can do for you, though. This is the place where you can be yourself. Not the incompetent prince, not the empire's greatest adventurer, but Master Arnold. So this is where I'll be, too. I'll treat you as Master Arnold while you're here, and I'll do the best I can to provide you with comfort and peace. And I'll be here to say goodbye and wish you luck when you leave, and to say welcome back and congratulate you when you return."
"...I hope you will. That alone means so much to me."
"I'm a bird, and you are the tree I perch on. That's why I'm always happy when you return. When you are away, I have nowhere to land. So please, always come back. Come back here, for me."
"That's an interesting metaphor. Well, I'll do my best, okay? If you need me, and not the insipid prince or Silver...then I'll just have to keep coming back."
Finne responded to my reply with a grateful smile. Then she placed her hand on top of mine and asked, "Do you think...that one day you'll be able to be your true self, even outside of this room?"
"I'm not sure. At the very least it won't be until after we've won the fight for the throne. And even if we do win and Leo becomes emperor, it'd still be safer for me to act incompetent. That way, none of the ministers or nobles will take any notice of me."
"Oh..." Finne responded with a discouraged look.
I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "It's all right. I'm okay with that. It's better than my life being in danger. And besides, I have you. As long as you're here to share my secret, I'll be just fine."
"But...I want the entire empire to recognize your true worth someday."
"That would come with its own set of problems. If my achievements get recognized, I'll be saddled with more work. I'm already using up a life's worth of effort in this fight for the throne. Once it's over, I'm determined to live as simply and easily as possible. I don't need recognition. I might open up about what I've done to the people closest to me, but that's about it. That's good enough for me."
I didn't need anything else. All I wanted was to go back to the boring, everyday life I'd had before the conflict for the throne started. That life was what I was so doggedly working for.
"So long as I've got friends and family, like you, Leo, and Elna, all smiling at my side, that's all I need. I want to spend my days lazily enjoying those basic comforts, and I've got to work now to make that possible. I won't let anyone die, no matter who or what I'm up against," I vowed, then tightly gripped Finne's hand, realizing I must be scared. I wasn't strong enough to bear losing something or someone important to me. Ever since getting involved in the conflict around the throne, the list of things and people I needed to protect had been growing ever longer.
Life had been much simpler back when I was just slaying monsters as Silver, when the hardest part of my routine had been using ancient magic to defeat them. But things had changed. I was faced with a plethora of problems that couldn't be solved by magic alone, and one wrong move could hurt others, or worse.
"I believe in you, Master Arn. I know that Master Leo and Lady Elna do, too. Let's all work together. You're not alone," Finne reassured me with a smile.
It was at that point I realized, even within that space where I should be relaxed, I was still tense. I needed to rest when I had the chance. I had a lot of self-improvement to do if I couldn't even figure that out.
"I'm sorry," I released my tight grip on Finne's hand and apologized. Then, lying back on the sofa, I asked her for a small favor. "Could I have another cup of tea?"
"Of course."
"...The days I was away were really stressful for me mentally. I traded places with Leo."
"You did? How was it, being Master Leo?"
"I'm definitely never doing it again."
"Hehe. I thought you might say that. I have a feeling Master Leo feels the same way."
"Probably. He takes everything so seriously."
We continued our lighthearted conversation, and I shared everything that had happened in the southern region with Finne. She was a partner in my secrets. We shared both the good things, and the bad ones. Because she was always there for me.