I couldn’t really argue with that. We bought some snacks to go with our drinks and headed home. As we drank together, Emma started growing weary.
“Noooir, you know, I, Emma Brightness, have something to ask you.”
“You know you can ask me, the Noir Stardia, whatever you like.”
“Let’s take a bath together!”
That was…a little surprising. I was confused, but then Emma pulled something out of her bag. It was a bathing suit.
“You were planning for this?” I asked.
“Eh he he he! We always used to bathe together as kids! You gotta respect your roots after all!”
I didn’t think that wasn’t what that phrase meant, but I kept that to myself. Besides, she was right—we had taken baths together when we were kids…
“I’ll wash your back!” Emma said. “Let’s gooo!”
She’d planned for this, so it couldn’t be entirely motivated by the alcohol. I decided to indulge her. I went into my room and changed into a pair of swim trunks before heading to the bathroom. Emma was already inside.
“M-mind if I come in?” I asked.
“Sure thing!”
“Thanks for having me…” I mumbled. What am I even saying? This is my own home.
My heart pounded as I walked in and saw Emma in her bathing suit. It was a really sexy cut, and not exactly reminiscent of our previous encounters in that room. The bath was already drawn, so it seemed my family had used it already.
“Okay,” she said. “Have a seat. I’ll wash your back.”
“S-sure.”
I sat down on one of the bath stools. I’d never been so anxious in my own bathroom before! Emma worked up a nice lather, then gently applied it to my back.
“Anyfing boddering you?” she asked.
Her drunken slurs were kinda cute.
“Nope, I’m fine.”
“Wow Noir, your back is soooo biiig.”
Something soft squished against my back as a drunk Emma snaked her arms around me.
“E-Emma?”
“I’m feewing kinda sweepy…”
“You can’t sleep here, it’s dangerous. Let’s just rinse off and get out.”
I splashed us with water, rinsing the soap off.
Emma stared at me with glassy eyes. “I thought I’d give you some LP with a hug.”
“Oh, yeah, thanks, but…”
“Yay!”
The hug definitely felt different, now that we were both sopping wet and in our bathing suits.
“Get any LP?”
“Way more than usual.”
“Let’s stay like this for a bit.”
I nodded. It felt a little strange to be hugging in the bath, but it also felt weirdly nice. It wasn’t long before I thought I heard footsteps. And then the door opened.
“Is this where you are, Noir?” my father asked. “Wh-wha-what…is this what I think it is?!”
Crap, everyone’s home!
I was flustered, but he was probably more upset.
“I mean, I guess your mother and I used to…no, well, I guess we still do sometimes…but you’re only sixteen, all right? It’s still too soon for you to explore things like this. Save the bathroom fun times for when you’re older.”
“Emma was just washing my back. See? We’re wearing swimsuits.”
As I frantically tried to explain, I heard Alice’s voice drawing near. I started to despair.
“Father, have you foun… Father, bring me your sharpest blade and join me in the living room.”
“Alice, it’s not what you think,” I protested.
She dragged us down silently to the living room and sat us down on the floor next to Olivia. My master was passed out drunk, and we were still in our swimsuits.
“I would never normally get this cross with you, Brother dearest,” Alice said. “But I simply cannot stand for this. There are two reasons. First, I am your little sister, so I have authority over who you spend the rest of your life with.”
I was at a loss for words.
“I do believe that, eventually, you will marry and have se—ahem, those types of relations,” she said. “However, I…I insist that it be with a person I approve of! And Emma…I still don’t entirely approve of you!”
“Aha,” Emma laughed. “Alice, you’re so silly.”
Oh, no, Emma was still drunk! She was making silly faces and flashing peace signs again.
A vein throbbed on Alice’s forehead. “Secondly, and this is the big one, the bathroom is for the whole family to use, so you shouldn’t be having se—participating in such activities in there. For the sake of the entire Stardia family, I have taken on the unpleasant task of explaining this to both of you!”
The bathroom was a common area, so I understood why Alice was so upset about it. Unfortunately, Emma just pushed her breasts together and cocked her head to the side.
“Huh?”
Alice’s eyes were cold as ice. I frantically tried to cover for Emma.
“Look, I’ll admit we were hugging, but you’ve got the wrong idea about everything else. We really weren’t doing anything like that. See? We’re both in bathing suits. Plus, if we were gonna do it in the bath, then…”
I glanced over at my parents. They were completely down for the count. I silently pleaded with them to rescue me, but Tigerson was the only one who responded to my cry.
<Humph, do humans not court in the bath? I believe I have heard Noir’s parents making flirtatious noises in there.>
“Tigersoooon!” my father said, frantically trying to shut him up. “Don’t I always water your flower for you?! Here, I’ll give you some right now!”
“Now, Alice,” said our mother. “It sounds like there’s been a misunderstanding, and Noir seems remorseful. Why don’t you forgive him?”
“But, Mother!”
“Let’s keep the waterworks in the bath,” she said. “And be happy that Noir’s arm has healed.”
“Humph… I guess you’re right. Brother dearest, are you feeling better?”
I smiled and nodded, thankful that my parents’ intervention had saved me from Alice’s wrath. Of course, after all that, I’d developed a serious curiosity about “bathroom fun times.”