I headed out of the park after that. I’d been completely swept away in the flow of events, and it’d slipped my mind that I was supposed to be meeting Luna. I asked the Great Sage where to find her.
<She is 389 yards to the northwest.>
Closer than I expected. It didn’t seem like she was on the main street either, so that would make her easier to find. I hurried in that direction until I caught sight of a woman with a killer figure. Situations like this made me glad that Luna stood out so much. She had just finished shopping and was coming out of a store.
“Sorry I’m late,” I said.
“Sir Noir, you came. I was actually just about to head to the guild hall.”
“You wanted to talk to me?”
“Yes. Why don’t we chat over dinner? I found an unusual restaurant recently.”
“Ooh, that’s perfect! Let’s get going.”
I could earn some LP with delicious and unusual delicacies. It would probably be a little pricey, but when an opportunity like this presented itself, I was happy to take it.
We headed to the restaurant. It did seem fancy. The tables were all booths, giving the customers some privacy. Luna and I sat across from each other as our server read out the menu.
“If you’re looking for a delicacy, I’d recommend the Exciting Chili Noodles.”
I was excited just hearing about them! Apparently, the dish had dried blue chilis in it, among other things. The server wouldn’t tell me what “among other things” meant. Terrifying.
“It’s very spicy and causes strange hiccups, but it is truly sublime.”
“I’ll try it,” I said. “What about you, Luna?”
“I, uh…I’d rather not end up with a strange case of the hiccups.”
“Really?” said the server. “The sweating reflex and the stimulation of your internal organs beautifies the skin. It’s very popular with women.”
“Okay, I’ll have that then.”
Turned out, Luna was concerned about her looks too. Not only was she pretty, but she was half elf. She probably aspired to maintain her beauty as long as possible.
As we waited for our food, she finally told me what she wanted to talk about. “Sir Noir, Lola told me that you’re looking for an object with an enchanted item perception skill.”
“Yeah, I could just make it, but it would be expensive.”
“Occasionally, nobles come to the temple to see me. One of them collects items, and apparently, he owns such an object.”
“Really?! Do you think he’ll sell it?”
“I don’t know, but I did get permission to visit his home. Why don’t you come with me tomorrow?”
“Yes, please! If I could get an item like that, I could earn a ton of LP.”
Luna nodded. She had some incredible connections through the temple. Even before I met her, she’d saved numerous people with her Lift Curse skill. I was sure lots of people were attracted to her selfless personality.
With absolutely perfect timing, our food arrived.
“Uh….”
“W-wow…”
We both recoiled in horror from the white noodles, piled high with red and green spices. There was no soup. Apparently, it was trendy to eat plain noodles mixed with extremely hot spices. And it was what we had ordered, so there was no turning back now. We gulped, then charged headlong into the world of extreme spice.
Violent heat exploded in my mouth. Sweat poured from my scalp, running down my brow and back.
“You know…”
“The aftertaste is actually great.”
The initial impact was really strong, but it didn’t stick around. Normally, spicy food stayed on your tongue for a while, but this didn’t do that. And it went really well with the chilled noodles. We completely forgot what we were talking about, and before we realized it, we’d both cleared our bowls.
“It was much better than I expected. I see why it’s popular.”
It wasn’t really that strange in the end, but I still earned 600 LP.
“Sir Noir, perhaps we should get g—hic! Achoo!”
Luna’s usual calm tone was interrupted by a sneeze. It seemed something had happened to her.
“Wait, what did you just—hic! Achoo!” I hiccupped and then sneezed in a strangely smooth sequence.
“Oh, no—hic! Achoo!”
“Hic! Achoo! Y-you can say that aga—hic! Achoo!”
They were coming fast. It was kind of a mess. They seemed to come more frequently when we tried to talk, so we silently settled the bill and left. We said our hiccupy, sneezy goodbyes and headed our separate ways. Thankfully, it was over by the time I got home. If it had kept up all night, I think I would have cried.
I opened the front door and announced that I was home, but no one came. Something was going on in the living room. I could hear a swell of voices. When I got inside, everyone was excited. Why? Well, there was a massive pile of money on the table. My father was losing his mind over it.
“Mistress Olivia, would you share just a little with us?”
“Oh, I just don’t know~! Spin around five times and bark like a dog and we’ll see.”
“Woof! Woof! Woof!”
My father didn’t have a shred of pride when there was money at stake. Honestly, I was a little relieved. This was basically business as usual. If he’d done anything else, I’d have been concerned that he had a fever or something. Honestly, I was dazzled by the sight myself.
Alice rushed over to me. “Brother dearest, look what Ms. Olivia did! She put it on the table all at once.”
Olivia probably had a Pocket Dimension too.
“Master, how did you get this money?”
“Why, Noir? Do you doubt your master? How awful! I earned this fair and square.”
“I’d like to hear how, in detail.”
I heard her out. Olivia didn’t like hanging onto stuff, especially not in her Pocket Dimension, because she always just forgot she had it. But she did keep several powerful enchanted items in there. She had remembered one of them, tested it out, and ultimately decided that she didn’t need it. She’d figured that having the money made more sense, what with the house and all. A weapons shop dealer offered her three hundred thousand rel for it—not nearly worth the true value. I assumed she would have snapped at the guy, but apparently, she’d backed down.
“I thought my head was gonna explode, but then this nice old man offered me all this.”
The shop owner might not have realized the item’s worth, but one of his customers certainly had.
“He was so handsome too, so I had to give him a special discount. I let it go for three hundred mil.”
“That’s a discount…? What exactly did you sell?”
“Just this interdimensional lance thing. It sounds fancy, but it’s not very powerful. I thought about giving it to you, but I decided the money was more useful.”
“You know, I was going to buy that house for you…”
“Oh, come on, what kind of mentor would I be if I let my star pupil pay for something like that? Even Tigerson would tease me!”
<Indeed, I would.>
Tigerson nodded emphatically. I appreciated his concern, but his gallant expression crumbled when Olivia started messing with the flower on his head.
Good luck, Tigerson.
“Brother dearest, you should take the money you set aside for Olivia’s estate and spend it on yourself.”
“Thanks, Alice, I think I might buy a new weapon or something.”
“Noir, don’t forget your family,” Father said, winking.
I couldn’t even look at him. If I gave him a large sum of money, he’d only do something stupid with it.
“Honey, are you really going to leech off your son? Are you a parasite?”
My mother pinched my father’s flabby stomach. His moans blended with Tigerson’s in a peculiar harmony that resounded through the house.
There was never a quiet day at the Stardia estate.