“Congratulations on passing! My name is Lola. I’m a receptionist here at Odin.”
“Nice to meet you, Lola.”
Lola was a real beauty, and she had a calm aura about her. It was kind of hard to believe she wasn’t all that much older than me.
She gave me a simple rundown of the adventurer system at the guild. Adventurers were divided into six ranks based on their accomplishments: E, D, C, B, A and S—with E being the lowest and S the highest. It went without saying that I was starting at the bottom. It was still one more title I could tack on to my name: third son of a baronet, the lowest-ranking noble, and now adventurer of the lowest rank!
None of that was really brag-worthy, was it?
“The rules are relatively lax, but even E-Rank members are required to take on at least one request every three months,” Lola explained. “If you don’t pull your weight, the guild master might have to teach you a painful lesson.”
“Please, no.” I started to wonder if becoming a shut-in might be preferable to this potentially painful lifestyle.
“He he. I was half-kidding.”
Only half? I was intrigued by Lola’s sense of humor.
At that point, she handed me a piece of parchment and a pen. It looked like your basic, run-of-the-mill personal information form.
“Only guild staff members have access to your information,” she said, “and we’ll never reveal it to other adventurers, so you know it’s in safe hands.” What she really meant was that the guild wouldn’t reveal that you were a deserter, or if your parents were ruined nobles, or if you had a criminal record or something dicey like that.
“I’m proud of my status as a son of the Stardia family. I have nothing to be embarrassed about,” I said, trying to show off.
Lola looked decidedly unimpressed. “That’s all well and good, but I was referring to your skills. Please fill out the spaces here and here.”
“Oh, that… How embarrassing.”
“Oh, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Your abilities are quite impressive. But…perhaps you should keep them to yourself.”
“Huh? Why?”
I was starting to worry about what kinds of issues Discerning Eye could cause, but Lola brought her face close to mine. She smelled so good I could barely stand it.
“It might make you a little too popular,” she whispered in my ear.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” I mumbled.
“Oh, I didn’t mean with women.”
“You’re embarrassing me again.”
“I mean that, if you want to form a party, you might attract some unsavory characters. You’re new here, so you don’t know the people in the guild yet.”
It finally clicked. Forming a strong party was about more than just raw ability. Having a compatible mix of personalities was important too. The most important thing was to find people that you got along with, and who you could trust. But since I had only just joined, I didn’t really know anyone. Lola was trying to advise me not to form a party until I had a better handle on the local crowd.
“I guess I’ll have to keep quiet about my abilities for now, then.”
“I’m glad you understand. We’ll protect your privacy. Your skill will not be divulged to anyone without your express permission, Mr. Noir.”
My fears assuaged, I dutifully filled out the form, listing my skills one after the other. Honestly, I was a little unsure about whether I should mention my master’s skill set. I did give a little thought to how I could explain it away, but of all the people in the guild, I was at least beginning to feel like I could trust Lola.
“What?! Is this Great Sage skill of yours…”
“It’s not exactly the most useful skill, unfortunately.”
“What?! W-wait?! Mr. Noir?!”
“Yes?”
“Parchment is a limited resource, so I’d appreciate it if you took this a little more seriously.”
“But I am being serious.”
There was a good chance she’d never even seen skills like the ones I’d scrawled out before. Unfortunately, my lazy explanations might have just confused her even more.
“Though I do, uh, have the occasional habit of…exaggerating my abilities. I figure it could help me get in with a good party.” I hastily tried to explain that since powerful skills were popular, it’d make it easier to join the party I wanted.
Lola seemed to buy my story. “And that’s why I’m telling you I think you overdid it a little.”
“I guess you’re right. I mean, who even knows what Get Creative and Editor are anyway.”
“Oh, no you don’t. I’m not that stupid.”
Wait, she knows what they are?
Lola pointed to a flag that adorned the hall’s interior. The crest, modeled after Odin, was genuinely cool. It was probably the symbol of the guild.
“This is Odin. The guild the Olivia Servant used to belong to.”
“My master was in this guild?!” I clapped my hand over my mouth. Oh, crap.
Lola’s eyes grew ice cold. “Mr. Noir, this doesn’t happen very often, but people do occasionally come in here claiming to be Olivia’s successor.”
“Ugh.”
“But, you know what, Mr. Noir? Their lies always get caught. No matter what.”
“Okay, but I’m not lying.”
“You really had me going for a while…” Lola looked at me with pained eyes, then retrieved something from behind the counter. It was a blue diary. Or at least a book that looked like one. It had a weirdly fascinating quality. “He he. You’re probably wondering what this is.”
“Your powers of perception are humbling.”
“Well, listen up, because this is no ordinary diary. It’s a Discerning Tome.”
I didn’t have to be a genius to guess what that name meant. It likely presented accurate information on any person who touched it. I sighed. “If you had something like that, I wish you would’ve opened with it instead of dragging this out.”
She wagged her finger at me and clicked her tongue. “This is a magical item. It can only be used so many times, so we only use it on untrustworthy people.”
“Oh, so you’re calling me untrustworthy?”
“I dunno, are you ready to recant your claims?”
Despite her provocation, I was telling the truth. I didn’t really have much choice. Because I refused to back down, Lola settled on having the tome do its thing.
“Please touch this page.”
“Okay, but what are you gonna do if it turns out I’m not lying?”
“I’ve been working as a receptionist here for 683 days and my instincts have never led me astray. But on the off chance you aren’t lying…I’ll lift up my skirt and beg you for forgiveness.”
Wow, Lola is bold.
With that, I placed my finger on the tome and the blank page filled with glowing blue letters—precisely detailing everything from my age, to my level, to all my increasingly numerous skills.
“……”
Lola froze. It must’ve been hard for her to believe.
“Y-y-y-y-you’re really Olivia’s s-s-s-successor…”
“Come on, you’re blowing this out of proportion. Now, remind me, what was it you said you’d do? Lift up your skirt and pledge your undying love for me?”
“Oh, no, no, no, no…”
Lola’s hands quivered. She had completely lost that air of cool collectedness. But she didn’t seem like the type to go back on her word. She came out from behind the counter and looked at me with pleading eyes, begging for mercy, but I just turned my head. This is why you shouldn’t write checks you’re not prepared to cash.
Resigned to her fate, Lola reached for the hem of her skirt and lifted it, exposing her panties. They were white with a small ribbon in the middle. Very cute.
“I believe the phrase I’m looking for is, ‘I pledge my undying love to you, Master Noir.’”
I was pretty sure that wasn’t what she’d actually promised, but she looked like she’d do literally anything, so I couldn’t resist. Her cheeks were bright red.
“I-I-I-I-I pledge my undying love to you, M-M-M-Master Noir. Waaah!”
Why did you have to start crying?! I was starting to look like the bad guy, so I begged her to put her skirt back down.
Can’t say I didn’t appreciate the view, though.