I tried to grab Gramps’s hand, but no matter how far I reached, my fingers didn’t touch his.
“Gramps! Gramps, wait for me!”
I jolted awake, sitting up so fast my heart pounded against my ribs.
It was a dream…?
I was breathing hard, so I forced myself to take deep, even breaths.
For a split second, I was relieved that it had only been a dream. But then reality sank in, and the tears started to fall.
That’s right. Gramps is already gone.
“Gramps…! Gramps…”
It hurt. It felt so lonely. The thought that Gramps wasn’t there anymore made my heart ache so bad I didn’t know what to do. So I curled up in bed and tried to stop hurting.
Suddenly, something warm and soft wrapped around me, and a gentle hand began to stroke my back.
“I’ll stay right here until you calm down. It’s all right to cry as much as you need to. Let all that sadness out of your heart, and once you do, it’ll be a little easier to breathe.”
Those arms were too soft to be Master’s. The scent wasn’t Gramps’s, but it was still comforting. And the voice was so tender it felt like it was embracing my heart.
I stopped trying to hold it all in and wept openly.
I was so sad. Every time I thought of Gramps and all the days we’d spent together, my heart ached even more. All those feelings churned around in my head and pressed down on my heart until it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I never knew happy memories could turn into painful ones.
I don’t know how long I cried, but the person holding me never let go. They stayed, just like they’d promised.
When my head finally felt clear enough to look up, I saw gentle eyes looking down at me and a hand smoothing my hair.
“Your…Majesty…?”
The woman holding me smiled, her expression as warm as Master’s.
“I’m glad you remember me. It’s been a while.”
“H-how…? Where am I?”
“You’re at the castle.”
“The castle?”
I had meant to ask why I was there. Maybe I hadn’t said it right, though, because she only answered where I was.
I tried to remember what had happened before I fell asleep, and the image of Master’s sad eyes came rushing back to me. I felt all the blood drain from my face.
“Master!!”
I’d said such awful things to him. I couldn’t stand the ache in my heart, so I’d run away without even apologizing.
“Master!” I tried to jump out of bed, but the queen stopped me.
“Setsuna isn’t here right now.”
“Where is he? I have to go see Master.”
A troubled look crossed the queen’s face, and she slowly shook her head. “Setsuna asked that you stay here for a while.”
He wanted me to stay here? The queen’s voice sounded like a far-off echo.
D-did Master…abandon me?
All the strength drained from my body. I broke out into a cold sweat. The queen started to say something, but her voice melted into a fog and disappeared inside my head.
“D-did Master…get fed up with me?”
I’d slapped away his hand as hard as I could.
“I—I said awful things to him…”
I’d screamed at him that he hadn’t saved Gramps because he was a beastfolk.
“Master isn’t that kind of person!” I know how much he loved Gramps. “I-it’s all my fault! I said such terrible things!”
I’d taken all my emotions out on him.
“Is that why Master…?”
…Hates me?
I was still speaking when the queen shook me so hard it almost knocked the wind out of me.
“Alto!” There was a stern look on the queen’s face that I’d never seen before. She stared right in my eyes. “Setsuna always puts you first.”
“Then why? Why am I here? Master doesn’t even want to look at me…”
“That’s not true, Alto. That could never be true.” She cradled my face in both hands and made me look at her. When she spoke again, her voice was gentle. “Setsuna had something urgent to take care of. He was worried about leaving you alone, so he asked me to look after you.”
“…”
“He also left a message for you: ‘Wait patiently until I come to get you, and don’t neglect your training.’”
“I—I wanna go be with Master…”
“You aren’t going to follow the instructions he left you?”
“No! Because I haven’t said I’m sorry!” I’d already cried so much, but tears continued to pour from my eyes.
As the queen wiped them away, I heard a soft voice behind her.
“Alto, Setsuna asked us to look after you, so you’d be safe.” Sophia stood behind the queen. I hadn’t noticed her until now, and I wondered if she’d been standing there the whole time.
She took my hand, her eyes shining with tears. Her hands were so warm that the ache in my heart eased a little.
“…”
“Be a good boy and wait here for now, all right?”
“All right,” I echoed. I didn’t want to cause any more trouble. They looked relieved when I finally answered, and the two women gave me gentle smiles.
I still felt upset, though, and kept staring at my lap. The queen leaned a little closer and said, “Do you think you can eat anything, Alto?”
I didn’t have any appetite, but since she’d asked, I nodded.
“Good. I’ll have some food brought in, then. Let’s eat together.” The queen called out to Margaret, who was standing in a corner of the room. I looked around in a daze and saw it was dark outside.
It didn’t take long for the meal to arrive. The three of us sat together and ate. Even though I didn’t really feel hungry, being surrounded by such kind people somehow made the food taste warm and comforting.
The next day, I still hadn’t seen Gramps or Master. I stayed curled up, feeling depressed, until a man called the general came to see me. I hid behind Sophia, quietly watching him when he reached down and tousled my hair so hard I thought he might pull it out. He was rough and clumsy, but I could tell he was trying to be nice.
Once he’d done that, he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and picked me up. I flailed around, but he just ignored me. The general carried me straight to the training grounds and set me down there. I wished he’d just leave me alone, but instead he held out a sword to me. I turned my head away in a huff.