“It’s all right. She departed for the Waterside yesterday, just like I am now.”
The woman and her daughter were both mercenaries. And the two of them had always said the same thing: “Let’s come back home alive and eat dinner together.”
She clasped my hand and said, “I’m going to see her now. We’ll have dinner together…” Then she took her last breath.
“Oh, it was just a dream…” I murmured as I opened my eyes. I looked out the window and saw stars shining in the sky. “I woke up in the middle of the night…”
I’d never dreamed of that day before. How cruel, I thought to myself. That was the day I said good-bye to a comrade and decided to retire.
It wasn’t her death that had filled me with fear—that, I was sure of. But from that moment on, I hadn’t been able to find any joy in fighting anymore, so I’d left that life behind.
I never thought I’d feel joy in fighting again. If I’d died in that battle, would I have been content?
It was only natural for the question to arise, and I knew the answer was yes.
What a selfish thought.
There was still so much I’d had to do. And if I’d died there, I would’ve forced all those things onto the two I was leaving behind. Thinking about that made me feel annoyed at myself.
I had already decided that I would give everything in this house to Alto as his reward for the quest; I’d written a letter saying as much and left it at the Adventurers Guild. Still, there were some personal belongings I didn’t need to pass on and some I wanted to throw away, so I needed to sort through them.
The house was pretty bare, so I’d thought I would wait to sort it all out until my symptoms worsened and hadn’t touched any of it yet.
I knew I only had a few days left at most. And since I was awake anyway, I thought there was no point in wasting any more time. I quietly got out of bed and carried two wooden crates into the room to pack up what I would be leaving behind.
The next day, I sat on the sofa with a blanket over my knees.
“Are you not feeling well, Ragi?” Norris asked gently.
“Perhaps I’m just under the weather from the changing of seasons,” I said.
It pained me to lie to Norris and Elly when they were so worried. Yet even so, I hoped they would indulge me one last time. I wanted to remember the way they looked when they smiled.
“Oh, so that’s why Setsuna’s staying here,” Norris said, as if that made sense now.
Setsuna nodded calmly. “Yes. I won’t be taking any new quests for a while so I can stay close to Ragi.”
“That’s probably for the best. It’ll put both Ragi and Alto’s minds at ease. And since you’re such a good caretaker, I know he’ll feel better in no time,” Elly said kindly.
Setsuna returned her smile with one of his own, showing that same calm expression he always wore. We chatted for a bit longer, then Norris and Elly headed off, saying they’d stop by again the next day.
They were barely out the door when Cyrus arrived. He exchanged a few words with Setsuna, then stepped out again. A little while later, he came back carrying something. It seemed Setsuna had sent him out shopping.
Alto watched curiously as Cyrus came back inside.
“I’ve asked Cyrus to help me out during the day while I stay home with Ragi,” Setsuna explained.
Alto didn’t question it. He just looked delighted to hear that the two of them would be spending so much time there.
We had a lively dinner that night with Cyrus. His easygoing, cheerful personality seemed to lift everyone’s spirits. There were far more smiles around the table, even compared to the last few evenings.
After Cyrus left, I went back to my room and began sorting through my things. I was dividing everything into what the two of them might need and what they wouldn’t. The items I no longer needed went into the wooden crate I’d gotten out the day before.
As I worked, I wondered why I’d kept some of these things. Others were objects I’d never been able to bring myself to throw away or which had sentimental value. I placed them into the crates one by one, along with each memory they carried.
Once the first box was full, I labeled it with instructions to sell or burn the contents and carried it to the storage closet under the stairs. Then I went back to my room and started filling a second box.
It was well into the night by the time I was done, and all that remained were the things I had stored under the bed. Besides the usual clutter, I found something I hadn’t expected in the shadows down there.
Something I’d buried deep in my memory.
“…”
I lifted it, feeling its heavy weight in my hands, and slowly unwrapped the cloth. It had been so long since I last looked at this sword forged just for me.
When we founded Sagana, we decided that each leader would carry a sword bearing the nation’s crest. It was a symbol of having taken the old human culture and turned it into something that was our own. The custom had spread to every beastfolk nation that came after, but this sword was the very first of its kind.
Hank… Roshna… Have you forgiven me?
I traced Sagana’s crest with my fingertips. It had once gleamed so brilliantly, but now it was dull and lifeless. Memories of those distant days drifted through my heart, and tears spilled from my eyes onto the blade.