Chapter 38

Chapter 2 The Diamond Bribe The morning after the meeting, Shinichi was ready to head to the Holy City, but there was one more problem to take care of before he left. “All right, we’re off,” he announced. “We leave the castle in your care,” Celes deferred to Arian and Rino. But they were met with angry pouts and puffed cheeks. “Hey! Why do I have to stay behind?” Arian complained. “I wanna go, too!” whined Rino. They’d been blindsided by the news this morning. The pair tugged on his arms, pleading with him and throwing tantrums. “Oh, come on. We already went through this. Rino, you can’t come along ’cause you need to continue treating the injured in Tigris,” Shinichi explained again. Not only had the bishop and his subordinates in Tigris jumped ship to Boar Kingdom, Sanctina’s thirty holy warriors—with the obvious exception of their traitor, Juda—were in jail and in the middle of being forcibly “brainwashed” by an incubus. That meant there was a huge shortage of healers. With Sanctina’s androphobia, she couldn’t handle an influx of patients by herself, which was why it was essential for Rino to support her by her side. “According to the mage Dritem, they’re planning on finding and recruiting the magic users that were booted from the city thanks to the church. I think things will get better soon. But you gotta keep at it until then, Rino,” Shinichi reasoned. “Gah, I know, but…,” Rino grumbled as she hung her head, unable to argue with him. It was their fault that the people of Tigris Kingdom got pulled into this mess, so they had to help them out whether they liked it or not. However— “It’s unfair that Celes gets to spend so much time with you, Shinichi…,” she complained, directing her pout at Celes in an uncharacteristic move—the polar opposite of her usual kindhearted, gentle demeanor. This was the first time ever that Celes had been on the receiving end of any sort of negative emotions from Rino, whom Celes had served since she was a baby. “D-d-d-do you hate me—?!” stammered Celes, flinging off her expressionless mask to reveal a pale face trembling with full-bodied spasms. “Geez, you’re dramatic.” “I—I don’t!” Rino objected. “I love you so much, Celes! It’s just when I hear that you get to be alone with Shinichi, I get this tickly-prickly feeling in my chest…” She couldn’t quite put a finger on this new feeling… Jealousy. But Shinichi was able to guess, albeit bashfully, as he knelt down to look Rino in the eyes. “If anything happens, Celes will Teleport us back right away. Once I take care of this, I promise we’ll play together. Can you wait until then?” “…Do you mean it?” “Yep. What should we do?” “I wanna draw with you! Celes said you’re supergood.” “All right. If you’re okay with heavily stylized manga drawings, I can teach you.” “Yay!” Her previous mood dissipated as Shinichi patted her head, and she jumped up and down with joy. This time, Arian eyed Rino with envy. “I get why she has to stay, but why can’t I go?” “Because people would recognize you,” Shinichi explained. In the past, she’d visited the Holy City on a mission to defeat the giant black wolf and was known all around as Red, the famous hero. One look at her, and they’d be toast. “But couldn’t I just wear a disguise?” she argued, looking pointedly at Celes’s long ears. Her dragon scales could be easily concealed with a scarf, whereas they needed to use Illusion to hide Celes’s elven ears. Plus, the stakes were higher if she accidentally revealed her true form. Celes was very aware of this problem, toying with her ears as she proposed a plan. “Shall I cut them off? If we claim I’m a human with dark skin—” “No!” Shinichi cried out. “You can’t get rid of them! Taking away an elf’s long ears is like taking away glasses from a cute girl who always wears them!” He grew increasingly flustered as he tried to stop her. “I’m grossed out that you’re so adamant about this,” Celes sneered, her eyes wide with surprise. To put things in perspective, it was as criminal as taking away the fill-in-the-blank of a femme boy. “I would heal them once we have completed the mission. Besides, didn’t you scorch your face before?” “I don’t care what happened to this old mug, but the face of a beautiful woman is one of the few wonders of the world! It’s my personal duty to protect it at all costs!” “…You dirty rat. I can’t believe you’d treat people differently based on their gender and appearance,” Celes retorted, but averted her eyes, embarrassed by his comments. Arian pursed her lips even more as she watched their exchange. She unsheathed her sword, pointing it to her own throat. “Yeah? Well, I’d cut off my scales for you…!” “Wait, wait, wait! STOP! YOU’D DIE!” cried Shinichi. It has been said the scales at the base of a dragon’s neck were akin to their Achilles’ heel. They wouldn’t allow just anyone to touch them. And it was far too dangerous to slice through her throat. He yanked her hand back. “Calm down. Even without the whole disguise mess, I still want you to stay here. You know, because of that one…” Shinichi trailed off as he cocked his head at Sanctina, watching over them from a distance. “Is something wrong?” she inquired with a saintly smile. But that wasn’t enough to hide her ulterior motives, which were practically leaking out of every orifice as she wordlessly chanted, “Hee-hee-hee, now I’ll have Rino all to myself.” “…I’ll worry if you’re not with Rino, you know, for, uh, reasons,” he stammered. “…Yup, yeah. Completely agree.” The pair looked at Sanctina in disappointment before Shinichi placed a hand on Arian’s shoulder. “Also, we can’t be certain that a hero won’t attack Tigris,” he continued. In all likelihood, the Holy See hadn’t yet received word that the Saint had been defeated, or that the Tigris Kingdom had turned its back on the church. But there was a possibility that some random hero or bishop would overhear these rumors and decide to take matters into their own hands. “I don’t want to underestimate the captain, but I doubt he has the strength necessary to protect the people from an undying hero. That’s why I need you to stay.” “Okay, I understand,” Arian declared chivalrously to his serious request. It all made sense. Rino shared her father’s magical capacity, but she was still a novice when it came to battles. On the other hand, Sanctina was strong, but only at the capacity of a magic user, rendering her worthless when it came to hand-to-hand combat. And since they’d be stationed in a city, she wouldn’t be able to cast spells that tore up large masses of land. But Arian’s body was strengthened by her status as a half dragon. On top of that, her offensive strategies, defensive moves, and speed were top-notch thanks to her experience in battle. She’d give anyone a run for their money. With the exception of beasts like the Demon King or someone underhanded like Shinichi, there was no one who’d be able to get the best of her. Arian’s chest swelled with well-deserved pride. “I promise to protect Rino and the people of Tigris.” “I’m counting on you, my hero,” Shinichi replied. “Should I take that as a compliment?” She chuckled wryly with a complicated expression, and Shinichi flashed a grin back. “I bet I’d make people back in my home world angry for saying some sexist shit like this, but I think men can go off and be stupid, ’cause we know there’s a woman holding down the fort—you know, a place called home.” “Home?! That’s like saying, hee-hee-hee…” Arian giggled. He made it sound like she was his wife! Any and all shreds of her former heroic attitude dissolved as she melted into a sloppy smile. “…These sweet nothings will come back to bite you someday,” Celes telepathized. Shinichi did his best to ignore her words of caution as he clapped her on the back. “All right, we’re off then.” “I await good news. Even better if you bring me back a powerful opponent,” boomed the Demon King. “Yeah, no. That would be bad,” Shinichi corrected tight-lipped as Celes cast her spell. “Fly.” He clung to her back as she was freed from the chains of gravity, floating gently from the ground and soaring high into the sky. “Wow! I mean, I’m low-key terrified, but this feels great!” He whooped with laughter as his body flew through the air. “You’ll fall if you get too carried away,” Celes warned, exasperated by his childish delight. “Did we need to use Fly? Are we in that much of a hurry?” “Oh, we don’t have to. Especially if it’s putting a strain on you.” “As long as we rest occasionally, I should be fine. I just wanted to know why.” “Oh, right. Celes, you’ve always been a curious one.” There were a few times when her thirst for knowledge came in handy, but more often than not, she’d use it against him to call him a pervert—which was honestly a figment of her imagination. Anyway, he hadn’t decided if it was a good thing or a bad thing yet. “If we hurry, we should be able to make our move before they get the info.” “Which is?” “That Sanctina has betrayed the church.” In Tigris Kingdom, it was common knowledge by now that the Saint had realized she was in love with Rino and jumped ship. But news of this incident hadn’t reached the Holy See…as far as they knew. “Cardinal Cronklum or whatever—you know, her superior—must know something’s up since she’s stopped telepathically communicating with him, but he has no way to know the details,” continued Shinichi. That was because there was no one to report back to him: Sanctina herself betrayed the church, and her thirty holy warriors were either captured or sleeping with the enemy. “Plus, she’s the only person strong enough to send a telepathic message over a long enough distance to reach the Holy City. Oh, and I checked with the captain, just in case, to see if any of the more devout followers had tried to run off and inform the cardinals, but they haven’t seen any messengers on horseback speeding away from the city. Meaning the cardinals will have to wait until the news reaches them through the grapevine.” There’s an old saying about how you can’t put a stop to talking mouths. It wouldn’t do them any good to impose martial law in Tigris, and the news wasn’t really a secret to begin with. It would travel across cities and towns on the backs of merchants, minstrels, and other wandering travelers, and eventually land in the ears of those in the Holy City. “Without amateur radios and Telepathy—at least for most people—it seems the rate of news spreading equals their walking pace,” he concluded. “Meaning it hasn’t yet reached the enemy?” “Apparently, it takes about twenty days to walk from Tigris to the Holy City. It’s already been five days since the incident in question, meaning we have fifteen more days. It would also take us about twenty days on foot to reach the Holy City from here, but if we use Fly, we can go faster since we’re circumnavigating mountains and forests. How long do you think it’ll take us to get there?” “About five days, I believe.” “Which means we have ten days to work with.” Ten days where the people in the Holy City would be in the dark about the defeat of their high-class magic user, Saint Sanctina. Ten days where they wouldn’t expect spies to infiltrate their borders. “It’s the perfect time to take advantage of them. Right when they’re off guard,” Shinichi commented. “Will it really go that well?” “Well, I am worried about one thing: If Cronklum takes the loss of contact with Sanctina very seriously, he might consult the other cardinals…but I don’t think that’s likely.” Based on Sanctina’s story, the cardinals were heavily involved in a battle for the next papal appointment. It wouldn’t be very strategic for Cronklum to bring his own failures to light. “It’s possible that he’ll attempt to squash the rumors in order to hide the truth. That’ll buy us even more time, heh-heh-heh,” he snickered sinisterly. “But wouldn’t he know this isn’t the time to quarrel with his own allies?” asked Celes. She cocked her head in confusion, finding human thought processes incomprehensible. Shinichi replied with a wicked smile. “Ah, won’t it be so fun to give them a rude awakening when they think they have all the time in the world to bicker with each other?” “You’re dirty,” Celes snapped, taking her usual jab as she increased their speed and soared through the sky. Shinichi and Celes didn’t encounter any bad weather conditions or turbulence on their flight. Thanks to that, they reached the church’s main base, the Holy City, in five days as planned. “All right, let’s go.” Under the familiar disguise as the middle-aged merchant Manju and his blue-haired maid, the two figures took their first steps into the Holy City, taking notice that it lacked guards and city walls—a total change of pace from the fortified surroundings of the Boar and Tigris kingdoms. Hordes of people moved in and out freely, whoever they happened to be. “Which means they’re confident,” Shinichi observed. He guessed there wasn’t anyone stupid enough to attack the Holy City, especially with the teachings of the church spreading across the entire continent. And even if someone chose to storm the city, they’d be against undying heroes and a mountain of holy warriors collectively capable of fending off tens of thousands of soldiers. Once again, Shinichi acknowledged the strength and size of the church as he observed the peaceful atmosphere of the Holy City. He steeled himself again for the task ahead. “We’ve gone and made enemies of some pretty nasty people, haven’t we?” he commented. “Then why are you smiling?” “Whoa, no kidding?!” He gingerly touched his face in disbelief, completely bewildered by this revelation. She sighed, frustrated. “Is His Highness rubbing off on you?” “N-no, impossible.” It might be masculine instinct firing him up in the face of a strong enemy. That went for humans and demons alike. Regardless, Shinichi was slightly embarrassed and cleared his throat before changing the subject. “Ahem. Anyway, I was thinking we should gather info—” “Understood, let us find a tavern.” “Yo, you’re definitely just in it for the food.” “What an absurd accusation.” She rebuked his claims immediately, but her eyes were glued to a sign: THE ORIGINAL STUFFED FRIED PEPPERS! ONE OF POPE EUMENT’S FAVORITE THINGS! “It’s not a bad idea, but I don’t think we’ll get much good information in one,” Shinichi reasoned. Sanctina had already covered all the information available to the average follower. He wanted to know something to help him understand the cardinals on a deeper level. “I don’t think a tavern owner will know that much—even though they’re general purveyors of gossip.” “We could ask around?” offered Celes. “No, that’d attract too much attention, and I assume we’d get apprehended real quick.” Everyone in the city was a follower of the Goddess, meaning they were smack-dab in the middle of enemy territory. If they went sniffing around for rumors about the cardinals, it’d be like begging to get the holy warriors called on them. “If I were one of the cardinals, I’d keep tabs on the taverns for any news, befriend some of the owners; you know the drill. I bet Cronklum’s doing the same, at the very least.” After all, he’d made powerful magic users have children, promptly brainwashing them to eventually create a monster: the Saint. He was definitely the kind of guy who’d keep his ear to the ground. “I suppose it takes a twisted person to know one,” Celes snarled in an annoyed-but-impressed way, and Shinichi flashed back a crooked smile. “It’s times like these that make me realize how nice it’d be if there was more organized crime, or like a bandits’ guild where you could buy information…” He spoke about other towns, figuring that the church would have squashed out any criminals lurking around in their Holy City. “Is the church the greatest crime syndicate of them all?” asked Celes. “Ha-ha-ha. Oh Celes, you’re finally starting to get a grip on human society.” Shinichi chuckled as he glanced around the wide street. “Who would have information on the bougie guys? Where could we talk without standing out—?” He scanned the rows of shops—just fancy enough to be appropriate for a Holy City—and his eyes came to rest on a black building that had a particularly high-class feel. “Let’s try that one.” Over the entrance was a sign that said ZAIM’S JEWELERS. Shinichi and Celes went to an inn for moment to prepare then came back to open the door to the jewelers. “Welcome,” the young woman working the counter greeted them as Shinichi stepped in and glanced around the shop. It’s all carved wood combs and bracelets with glass beads… There aren’t any rare jewels or anything. It was obvious once he thought about it. It wasn’t like modern-day Japan with its glass cases, security systems, and theft insurance. That meant they wouldn’t place the valuable items up front, especially ones that could lead to huge monetary losses if they were stolen. The higher-end items were ordered by customers, made-to-order and one-of-a-kind. As Shinichi made these guesses, he received a telepathic message from Celes. “Further in the shop, there are three men. They appear to be workers. And one guard with a sword. There are three more people on the second floor, who seem like the shop owner and his attendants.” “They must make enough money to employ a guard,” he observed telepathically. “Not bad.” Of course, there were very few idiots who would try their hand at stealing something inside the Holy City. But their goods must be valuable enough to warrant this kind of caution. Even the woman at the counter seemed wary of Shinichi as he slowly took in the shop. He grinned in order to reassure her. “Hello, I am a merchant by the name of Manju. I would like to meet the store owner. Are they in?” “Do you have a letter of introduction?” she asked firmly, even as she smiled. There was no way she’d let in just any old man, especially one that she’d never seen before. Shinichi smiled back and gestured to Celes, who stepped forward softly and placed a fist-sized object wrapped in cloth on the counter. “This is my letter of introduction,” he announced. “Sure…,” replied the worker, disinterested. He gestured for the worker to uncover the object. When it broke free from the cloth, a blinding sparkle refracted through the transparent rock and filled her eyes. “I-is this a diamond?!” It was a large gem—uncut, around two-thousand karats, and worth a fortune. “Wh-what…?!” The shop worker trembled more out of fear than reverence. She’d never seen a diamond so massive. Shinichi smiled gently at her as he repeated himself. “This is my letter of introduction. Would it be possible for me to meet the shop owner?” “One moment, please!” she cried out, clutching the massive diamond with shaking hands and dashing into the back of the shop as if making a grand escape. She returned after a little while, slightly more composed as she gestured toward the back. “This way, please.” “Thank you,” Shinichi replied as he followed her into the back of the shop, up the stairs to a reception room on the second floor, then to a frowning man in his forties waiting on a couch. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Manju. My name is Zaim; I’m the owner of this store.” “It’s nice to meet you as well, Mr. Zaim. Thank you for meeting with me,” replied Shinichi as the proprietor gestured for him to take a seat on a couch facing him. Between them was a high-quality ebony table on which the giant diamond sat gleaming. “I presume you wish to sell this gem to my establishment?” “Of course,” replied Shinichi. “Might I evaluate it?” “Please, as you wish.” Zaim lifted the diamond and closed his eyes. Through his career, quite a few people had attempted to sell him rocks disguised as gems using Illusion, which is why he was attempting to use touch, a sense unaffected by visuals, in order to determine its authenticity. “The surface, its weight; it all seems like the real thing, but… May I use this?” He took out a huge iron knife, and Shinichi nodded with a smile. “Of course, do as you feel necessary.” “Thank you.” Zaim brandished the knife and swung down with full force on the diamond. Even the best imitation gems would crack in half—or, at the very least, be damaged. However, with a loud clink, the diamond deflected the weapon, breaking its blade in the process. “It does seem to be genuine. I’m sorry for doubting you, Mr. Manju,” Zaim admitted as he bowed his head deeply. “Not at all. I’m glad to know you are a cautious and reliable merchant.” Shinichi smiled and waved off his apology. Zaim lifted his head and smiled back in relief, but his expression quickly soured again. “I’m incredibly grateful that you would offer my shop this exquisite item. But—and this is just a rough estimate—I can’t imagine this diamond being worth less than fifty thousand gold coins. I, unfortunately, don’t have enough cash on hand to purchase it…” Even if he scrounged together all the money in the safe, he’d still be short. Then there’d be the issue of finding a buyer because it was just too expensive. “I can offer one thousand gold pieces up front. If I’m able to find a buyer, I will request an advance payment from them, and then the rest—” “That won’t be necessary,” interrupted Shinichi, holding up a single finger. “I will accept one gold coin as payment.” “Come again?” “And in exchange, I would like some information from you.” “…Of what sort?” Zaim asked, suspicious. His dumbfounded expression immediately turned dour. Running his mouth—especially about something appraised at fifty thousand gold coins—could cost him his business. Zaim steeled himself. It could be information on how he obtained his gems or his customer base. Shinichi eyed him with a hungry look. “I want you to tell me everything you know about the cardinals.” “…I see.” Zaim nodded. With the pope nearing the end of his life, the cardinals were running the show as the real leaders of the church. Any intel on them would be well worth fifty thousand gold coins, even for a jewel merchant. Here in the Holy City, the higher ups in the church—the bishops and cardinals—were some of their biggest clientele. The first pope, Eument, might have been a humble woodworker, and the church might reject materialism, but that didn’t stop bishops and cardinals from roping precious metals and gems around, and around, their necks. This was doubly true for the bishops who were sent to other countries as envoys and the cardinals who led sermons in front of tens of thousands. They justified it by telling themselves they needed to look the part. On many occasions, Zaim had taken orders for jeweled crowns and scepters. From the infamously materialistic Cardinal Snobe, the owner received requests on a monthly basis for gifts of all kinds for his mistresses. He did indeed have information and connections worth the fifty thousand gold pieces, but— “I must decline your offer,” he stated. He had the intel. But that was precisely why he didn’t hesitate to turn this down. Zaim slid the massive diamond back to Shinichi. If he dared to anger the cardinals, it’d be off with his head. If he lost them as customers, he’d lose more in future sales than the promised fifty thousand gold pieces. But for whatever reason, Shinichi smiled gleefully in the face of the jeweler’s rational decision. “Loyalty, first and foremost. All merchants should follow your lead.” “I appreciate the praise, but unfortunately, fate is not on our side today,” announced Zaim—with just one regretful parting glance at the massive diamond. Their negation was closed—or at least that was what he thought—until Shinichi drew a rolled-up piece of parchment from his breast pocket instead of rising out of his chair to leave. “Well then, how about this in addition to the diamond?” “…Let’s take a look, then,” the shop owner said nervously, unfurling it slowly and wondering what could possibly be written there. “I-is this stamped with the Saint’s blood?!” Accompanying Sanctina’s flowy signature was a crimson imprint of her hand. “Please feel free to take that to the residence of Cardinal Cronklum to confirm its authenticity,” Shinichi confidently urged. After all, he’d been the one who’d arranged this whole thing with Sanctina—in exchange for a figurine of Rino. It was undeniably the real deal. But it’d be a big problem if Zaim took this to the cardinal, seeing as he’d be arrested on the spot and interrogated about the whereabouts of the Saint, especially because she’d been ghosting Cronklum. That was exactly why Shinichi kept his best straight face, laying the lies on thick. “Alas, I have absolutely no relationship with the Saint or Cardinal Cronklum. I’m no more than the traveling merchant Manju… Do you know what I’m trying to say?” Shinichi blabbed. “Y-yes, of course,” Zaim sputtered, jumpy as he wiped the beads of sweat from his brow. He knew what this man was implying. This “traveling merchant Manju” persona was all a fabrication. He was actually a spy for Cardinal Cronklum, sniffing around for secret information on the other cardinals to get a leg up in the next papal appointment. —That’s what he’d assume anyway. It wasn’t likely that he’d realize that Shinichi was an agent of the Demon King attempting to trap the cardinals. Well, if he’d think this through with a bit more logic, he’d see that none of this makes sense in the slightest. It wasn’t hard to imagine that Cronklum would have spies. After all, the man in question raised Sanctina for the sole purpose of exploiting her as a Saint. None of this was above him. The question was whether or not a cardinal’s watchdog would go to some jeweler to find information on the others candidates. They’d never ask an outsider for support. That’d only lead to more backstabbing and leaked secrets. On top of it all, a spy would never allow his true identity to peek through. In order to keep the wavering shop owner from noticing the inconsistencies, Shinichi followed up with another critical hit. “Please don’t worry. I don’t intend to harm you or resort to violence in order to keep you from talking,” he cooed reassuringly. “—Ngh?!” But Manju had shown him the seal of blood. Did that mean that when he was done with business, he’d kill him and bury him in the dark? As the owner considered this theory with substantive fear, Shinichi could peer into his soul. But even as he trembled, he looked Shinichi straight in the eyes as he gave his final answer. “Will you swear to the Goddess Elazonia that your word is your bond?” “Don’t you think it’s easy to break verbal vows and promises?” Shinichi asked in reply. “……” “I apologize. I have a way to protect both the secrets and your safety,” Shinichi admitted as he glanced back at the maid standing behind him. Without a word, Celes held up her hand, flickering with magic power. “Are you aware of the Geas spell? I want you to swear that you’ll never speak of the events of today again,” Shinichi explained. “I see, so that’s how it will be,” the shop owner said with a nod, hounded by the invisible force behind the maid’s magical presence. Under the spell, they would endure worse pain than death if they tried to break this promise. There would be no need to forcefully silence each other, and there would be no chance of them betraying each other. On top of that, the fact that she’s strong enough to use Geas lends credence to the lie that I’m Cronklum’s spy. Nice. The shop owner was mulling this choice over—without a shred of doubt about Shinichi’s true identity. “You’re free to refuse my request. If you do, all I ask if that we’re bound under the Geas spell. I’ll give you the diamond in exchange. If you do accept, please know that nothing we talk about today will leave this room,” Shinichi offered as he pushed the huge diamond back toward the shop owner. “…I need to think for a moment,” replied the shop owner as he gazed at the diamond in front of him and carefully considered his options. Either way, he got the rock. The problem was whether he wanted to be Cronklum’s ally. Did he want to lend a hand to the man closest to becoming the next pope? Even if it meant making enemies of the rest of them? Had this happened ten days later—when rumors about the Saint reached town and destroyed her adoptive father’s status—the shop owner would have instantly refused to assist. At this moment in time, however, Cronklum was still the man at the top. “Okay, I’ll tell you everything I know,” the shop owner folded after a long silence, and he picked up the huge diamond. Shinichi smiled in response and held out his right hand. “First, may I have one gold coin as payment?” “Har-har, yes, that’s right,” the shop owner chuckled, getting up and handing Shinichi one coin before stepping out into the hall for a moment. “Could you please prepare some tea and snacks? We’re going to be talking for a while.” “And lunch as well,” the maid chirped. “Celes, this isn’t a cafeteria,” Shinichi teased the greedy maid, but the shop owner just smiled and called back to his secretary again. “You’re the epitome of dirty,” Celes jeered in the room at the inn after their top-secret discussion at the jeweler’s was over. Shinichi forced his lips to crack a smile at her usual insults as he collapsed into the bed. “But I didn’t do anything that bad this time! We just talked, and he got a diamond worth fifty thousand gold coins. Sounds like a good deal for him if I do say so myself.” It’d been a complete lie to imply that he’d be making ties with the soon-to-be pope, but even so, the shop owner came out better off than before. As Shinichi proclaimed his innocence, Celes shot him a glance and heaved out a sigh. “But the diamond was fake.” “How rude! That was a bona fide, legit diamond! It just wasn’t natural,” Shinichi said as he smirked sinisterly and rolled the single gold coin from the shop owner over his fingers. “There’s no one in this world who’d be able to tell that it’s coal with some Element Conversion.” As he had explained to the dvergr before, coal and diamonds were both made from carbon. By taking the haphazard arrangement of the atoms in coal and aligning them neatly, you could make the latter. “If I make too many, they won’t be as scarce and their value will tank, but this much shouldn’t be a problem,” continued Shinichi. “Okay…” There was no way that Celes would know about the principles of scarcity in economics, but she did understand that pursuing that conversation further was pointless. She returned to the topic at hand. “Well then, which of the cardinals will we be targeting first?” “Cronklum’s out,” replied Shinichi quickly as he roused himself out of bed. “He’s sometimes called the Elderly Cardinal, the oldest and closest to becoming the next pope. From the perspective of the demons, he should be the first to go. Plus, Sanctina told us that he’d be the easiest to handle, but we don’t have to do anything to take care of him.” Because he’d be done for even without one of Shinichi’s schemes. With enough time, the city would be inundated with rumors about Sanctina and how she’d failed to defeat the Demon King. The most damning news of all would be that she’d become a traitor. As her adoptive father, Cronklum would suffer some serious damage to his public image. He’d be forced out of the race for pope. In a worst-case scenario, he could be stripped of his cardinal position. They’d gain nothing from breaking this old geezer or destroying his reputation. “And I don’t feel like a seventy-something-year-old man would go on a crusade himself against the Demon King,” finished Shinichi. “I agree.” “Next is Snobe, aka the Materialistic Cardinal… I’m gonna pass,” Shinichi croaked, his face twisted in a grimace. “Why?” Of the four cardinals—and quite possibly out of all history—Snobe was the most vulgar of all. He had a voracious appetite for food and drink. But the same couldn’t be said for work. In essence, he was as fat and lazy as a cow. He’d dine on the finest steak in this world for dinner every night and drink barrels of the finest wine, crushed by the feet of virgins. He could bathe in the amount he drank. Plus, he was a sex machine. At any given time, he allegedly had more lovers than fingers on both hands combined. Some rumors said he had enough illegitimate children to make two soccer teams for a legit game. Of course, he naturally had a whole bunch of enemies, and according to the man-hating Sanctina, he was “a piece of shit, lower than even a c—ckroach.” “Seems like he reeks of vice. I would’ve thought he’d be the perfect target for you. Wouldn’t it be easiest to sway him?” she asked, but Shinichi’s impression was the exact opposite. “Based on Sanctina’s stories alone, I would have agreed, but judging from what the jeweler said…” The Materialistic Cardinal had a terrible reputation, but the owner of the jewelry store regarded him highly. That’s because the cardinal was simple and, most importantly, a very well-paying client. “He wants to eat fine food and sleep with fine women, and he has the means to fulfill his desires.” He was in a position where he had financial control of the church’s purse strings. That didn’t mean he embezzled, though. If he did, the other cardinals would find out and he’d be chased out of his position. What he did use his position for was to gather information from the churches in other cities and use that information to his advantage. For example, if he knew that wheat harvests in the east were unfavorable, he’d purchase all the excess grains from abundant harvests in the west for pennies on the dollar and sell high in the east. Any average merchant would do the same thing, but Snobe could receive information from loyal bishops through Telepathy and act on information faster than anyone else, thus generating revenue faster than anyone else. “The jeweler vouched for him, saying, ‘He’s not very devoted, but he’s the real deal when it comes to sales.’ What’s bad is he’ll do anything to fulfill his desires,” he continued. “What do you mean by that?” “Let’s say I made a delicious cake. What would you do?” “I would force you to make ten more, even if it kills you.” “Geez, reel it in, you glutton!” “I’m joking. If I killed you, I wouldn’t be able to eat another one.” “‘Make me cake for the rest of my life’? Is that what you’re trying to say?” It might sound like a marriage proposal, but all Shinichi heard was the terms and conditions to a contract for indentured servitude. “Anyway, the only reason you have an insatiable appetite for cake is because you don’t come by good food often. If you had it every day, I bet you’d get sick of it pretty fast.” “In simpler terms, a womanizer can keep his cool, but a virgin won’t be able to help himself.” “You’re not wrong, but was there really no better example?” He sighed. How could she remain so composed as she spat out obscenities? Especially when she always blushed to her ears when he directed them at her? “Point is, the cardinal has become used to succumbing to his desires. I do sort of want to try and see if we’d be able to manipulate him with a succubus, but with his skills as a businessman, I just don’t think it would go over very well.” “I imagine I would enjoy seeing the pathetic sight of that floozy lose to a human male.” “…Do you hate Ribido that much?” “I wouldn’t say that. I’m just annoyed by the way she yaks off my ear every time she finds a new man. It makes me want to knock her into an eternal slumber,” she growled, her words dripping with murderous rage. “Oh, I see…” Shinichi wasn’t able to say any more. I’d be willing to bet Ribido had a hand in giving Celes all her secondhand knowledge about sex, and paired with her wild imagination… They’d be better labeled as frenemies. “A friend, huh? Rino might— Nope, nope, she definitely doesn’t need a friend like that. We’ll have to look for a reserved, timid kid,” he corrected himself. “Why are you suddenly acting like His Highness?” “Am not!” In truth, he hadn’t let Rino tag along on this mission because he was scared something bad would happen to her like last time. He was growing overprotective of her, of which he was very well aware, and it was exactly why he tried to change the topic as soon as possible, flustered that Celes had been onto something. “Okay, next is Effectus, who people teasingly call the Agreeable Cardinal. He’s, well…” Effectus had been given this moniker because he rarely gave his own opinion, constantly agreeing to other opinions instead. But he was also the cardinal with the strongest reputation among the holy warriors. He seemed to be a man of true integrity—the exact opposite of the Materialistic Cardinal. He wanted neither gold nor women, working earnestly to uphold the Goddess’s teachings with all his heart. He was aiming to be the next pope, but it wasn’t to fulfill his own desires. It was a goal born of pure faith, urging him to spread the Goddess’s word. Someone describing him in a positive light might call him an honest and just man—or, on the flip side, an inflexible zealot. “I don’t think he’s the type to give in to threats from the demons, and I don’t think he can be easily persuaded.” “From our viewpoint, he’s the most difficult opponent,” added Celes. “Yeah, his personality means he doesn’t accept bribes and that gives him little power over the people, but it’s actually the thing that’s saving him.” The members of the Goddess’s church were human, after all. It was quite normal for them to want to drink fine wine and sleep with beautiful women, but this Agreeable Cardinal didn’t seem to have any of those desires. Every day, he consumed inexpensive loaves of dark bread. He was nearing his sixties, but there were no shadows of a wife or lover. It was very possible that he’d never been with a woman at all. He took notes from the first pope and lived modestly, gaining great admiration from the lower class. Even the androphobic Sanctina spoke highly of him. On the other hand, high-ranking bishops and wealthy merchants didn’t view him quite so favorably. “If the Agreeable Cardinal becomes pope, he’ll force his lifestyle onto us… The more they have to lose, the more worried they are about losing it all.” That’s what the jeweler had told him, flashing a smile as he told him that Effectus’s extreme ways didn’t make him the “Agreeable” Cardinal at all. There was visible unease in the jeweler’s eyes as well. “I get the feeling he’s messed up in the head; you know, someone who’d say something like, ‘There will be no poverty if we all live equally among the poor,’” Shinichi joked. “He couldn’t be that stupid, could he?” “Ya never know. There are people who’ve decided to make their country better by killing all the intellectuals in it.” “…You’re joking, right?” “Unfortunately not. It’s a good example of the saying, ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions’… Wait, is this not the right time for that?” Shinichi interrupted himself, falling into thought. He glanced at Celes who was uncharacteristically cringing, then forced a weak smile and got back on topic. “Anyway, the Agreeable Cardinal is too proper, so he’d be a pain. I’ll pass on him. Best-case scenario: He becomes a tyrant and focuses on disciplining heretics and nonbelievers over the demons, destroying the church from the inside out.” “How might you go about making that happen?” “If we copied his appearance and made him go around attacking and killing people until his reputation hits rock-bottom, the masses would throw stones at him, hate him, and he’d lose hope in humanity, maybe? …No, he’d just testify with a Liar Detector spell and come clean; that wouldn’t work.” “I regret asking,” Celes sighed as Shinichi spoke casually about the dirty aces up his sleeve. At the very least, she knew these plans were all talk since they’d only make Rino sad if they executed them. “So then, our target is…,” she clarified. “The last one,” Shinichi finished, “the Holy Mother Cardinal, Vermeita.” Vermeita was the youngest of the cardinals, in her midforties, and the only woman. She was magically powerful and a master of martial arts using a staff, so she had a record of defeating hordes of monsters and saving a bunch of people: a true heroine who’d reached the top at a precocious age. In her early years, she was called the Saint, and Sanctina admired her as a mentor and role model. “She’s young, but she’s still lived twice as long as me, so I don’t think we’ll easily find her weakness, but I think she’s the one that I’d like to have as an ally,” he continued. “Another woman… You’re just a perverted dog, chasing after an older woman.” “That’s not what I meant! Like most men, I prefer my girls young!” retorted Shinichi in all seriousness, refuting the accusation that he liked cougars. In response, Celes— “…Then I’ve passed my prime,” she sulked, suddenly upset as she sat in the corner of the room, hugging her knees to her chest.