Chapter 1

Chapter 1 The Pointless Battle He suddenly realized he didn’t know where he was. But Shinichi Sotoyama wasn’t easily shaken by strange events. He was seventeen years old and in his second year of high school, where he wasn’t an active member of any clubs. He did well in the sciences and just okay in the humanities. He was perfectly average. Well, that wasn’t entirely true: He was average in all things, except his courage. Unlike most people, he could always keep his composure. In fact, when a car hit him in the fourth grade, Shinichi didn’t seem bothered at all by his broken left arm. Onlookers screamed and shouted, but he just calmly pulled out his cell phone with his right hand to call for the police and an ambulance. Justifiably exasperated, his father had asked him, “You’ve got a few screws loose, don’t you?” Here was his latest predicament: He’d been riding the train, only to teleport (the only probable explanation) to some fantastical place. He now stood in a massive hall carved from stone, with a magic circle drawn on the floor. But Shinichi had taken this absurd phenomenon in stride. There’s no way something like a manga would happen in real life, right? Now, however, he had on an uncharacteristically cold expression, and unlike his usual cool self, he was sweating bullets. “…!” He was so focused on keeping himself from shaking, he forgot to blink. He just stared straight ahead. A colossal figure towered over him. Shinichi quickly estimated the brute was over ten feet tall, twice his own height, with arms and legs thicker than tree trunks. His core muscles wrapped around his body like the armor of a tank, and as if to cockily suggest any actual armor was unnecessary, he wore only a loincloth and cloak. All this gave the imposing specimen the appearance of some ancient Spartan warrior or the physical manifestation of raw, furious force. Facing each other, they must have looked like a kindergartner squaring off with a sumo champion or an elementary school student being attacked by a grizzly bear. That alone would’ve been plenty to give Shinichi pause, but the strangeness didn’t stop there. This behemoth of a man had deep blue skin and two massive horns sprouting from his head. He was clearly some kind of monster—and most definitely not human. There was absolutely no way Shinichi could defeat him. On top of it all, the displaced high schooler was terrified to the very core of his being by an invisible force around him. “Hmm…” As if to examine something, the giant bent down toward Shinichi. The air around Shinichi trembled before pounding into him, wave after wave, as if in a storm at sea. It might’ve been the aftershock of the creature’s magical or supernatural powers, and Shinichi realized this monstrous, massive man wasn’t simply a beast of incredible physical strength: He was a weapon of mass destruction in humanoid form, a collection of massive energy, overwhelming his surroundings in one short breath. There’s just no way. I’m just as good as dead. There was nothing he could do. He’d clearly never been in a fight before and was obviously at a disadvantage in terms of strength, so combat was out of the question. If he turned his back to escape, this monster would surely pounce on top of him. All Shinichi could do was sigh, knowing his life was over. Huh, dying at seventeen. Well, I guess it wasn’t a bad life, but I kind of wish I wasn’t dying a virgin. Shinichi was too scared to beg for his life. Instead, he began wondering what the giant thought of him—just standing there, trembling, silent, and staring back. Menacingly, the gargantuan figure slowly walked up to him and swung his trunk-like arms for his finishing move… Then he groveled so violently in front of Shinichi that the ground rumbled. “Please save us, young man!” pleaded the giant with ardent desperation. “Uh…what?” replied Shinichi. “Please! I can grant you anything your heart desires! Please use your wisdom to do something!” “Um? Uh?” “Those disgusting humans keep taking advantage of my daughter’s kindness—!” “Wait! Calm down!” shouted Shinichi. The monster’s angry howls blasted out of his open mouth like a typhoon, forcing Shinichi to cling to the ground to prevent himself from being blown away. “Oh, how often I’ve considered just slaughtering them all! Wait! It’s not too late—” “Daddy, please calm down.” A bell-like voice rang out behind the titan’s epic stature just as Shinichi’s hands were about to give. Instantly, the wind died down. The air stood so still it was hard to believe it had blown with such intensity a moment before. It was the same with the creature’s face: It was no longer contorted in rage and softened to let out a smile overflowing with joy. “Oh, my beloved Rino! You’re still just as dazzling as the blue sun!” exclaimed the giant. A young girl peeked out from behind him. She looked only about ten years old, though she wore an exquisite, extravagant dress. Everything about her was enchanting: Her hair was a lustrous jet black, her skin as white as snow, her eyes the color of rubies. In fact, she was so bewitching, Shinichi found himself staring at her, even though he had no predisposition toward little girls. “Daddy, this isn’t the time for that,” she said to the behemoth (who was apparently her father, despite bearing no resemblance). He held her closely in a big bear hug, cradling her small body against his cheek. She pushed him away. “What…? Do you hate your daddy?!” The monster reacted in shock, but the girl didn’t seem to notice—or care. She walked up to Shinichi and delicately gathered her skirts to make an elegant curtsy. “I’m glad to make your acquaintance. My name is Rinoladell Krolow Petrara, but please call me Rino,” she said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Shinichi Sotoyama: first name, Shinichi, last name, Sotoyama.” “Shinichi… That sounds a little weird. You really must be from another world…,” remarked Rino, mulling it over. She smiled sweetly at him, charming him for a moment, but her father radiated such a murderous rage that he hurriedly put together a stern expression. “So this really isn’t Earth?” he asked. “I don’t know where this Earth is, but this world is called Obum,” she clarified. “And you used some sort of magic to summon me here?” “Yup, that’s right! Daddy hoped you’d be able to help us,” explained the girl, nodding as she answered his questions. She turned back to her father. “Daddy, it’s rude if you don’t introduce yourself.” “…You bastard, ignoring me while you ingratiate yourself with my daughter! I swear, I’m going to incinerate you, burn you to ashes…,” growled the giant. “Daddy! I really don’t like it when people can’t even introduce themselves!” “Yes! Welcome, wise one from another world! I am the great and terrible Blue Demon King, Ludabite Krolow Semah!” he boomed, delivering his name with regal pride and pomposity. The grand reveal fell a little flat, though, seeing as he only did it to avoid upsetting his daughter. “…Thank you, Demon King. I am Shinichi Sotoyama,” said Shinichi, doing his best to give a stiff reply. He was no longer afraid of imminent death. He was more disturbed by the strange situation in front of him. The Demon King nodded in satisfaction at Shinichi’s deeply bowed head. “Would you look at that! The boy knows his manners. He’s pretty sharp, too. You’re completely different from the previous pathetic, filth-spewing insect.” “Previous?” asked Shinichi without thinking. “Yes,” answered Rino with a pained look on her face. “You’re actually the second person we summoned from another world. The first wasn’t, well, quite as calm as you are…” “He wet himself the moment he saw me, started sobbing, shouted meaningless drivel, writhed and wriggled all on his own, and then died,” interjected the Demon King. The poor thing probably had a heart attack. One look at the Demon King could certainly have that effect. All things considered, it wasn’t surprising that’s how it ended. “That person— No, you know what? Never mind,” Shinichi said. He was going to ask what happened to the corpse. When he realized they might say they feasted off his body so it wouldn’t go to waste, he got flustered and shut his mouth. Rino seemed to read Shinichi’s thoughts and started to explain. “Shinichi, please don’t misunderstand. The first boy—” “Pardon the interruption, Your Highness, Lady Rino.” As the massive door creaked open, a voice intruded. A single maid with dark brown skin and silver hair walked in. Her ears were long and pointed, resembling those of a dark elf, but she was undoubtedly drop-dead gorgeous. “…Celestia, what is it?” The Demon King was impatient, but sensed he needed to deal with an urgent matter. Under the King’s visibly vexed stare, the maid calmly reported, “They are here again.” “Again, those disgusting maggots, graah!” he shouted, letting out an earsplitting bark. A scorching blast of air whipped around, heated by the King’s fury. “I’m done with them! I’ve called upon the wise one for this, but it was all in vain, as I will use my own hands to kill them—” “Daddy! Please calm down! Please don’t do anything awful!” Rino cried in an attempt to soothe her enraged father. She tried wrapping her arms around one of his legs, but it was too thick. As she held on to him, though, the bloodthirsty rage flickered from his eyes, and he tenderly stroked his daughter’s hair. “You’re right. I’m the most fortunate man in the demon world to have the most wonderful child in the world, my beloved Rino.” “And I’m so glad to be the daughter of such a kind daddy,” she responded sweetly. The Demon King chuckled. “Oh, don’t flatter me like that! Daddy just might get so excited he blows away the red sun!” “……” Shinichi was bored by their excessive display of affection, but the maid seemed used to their interactions and called out to the King. “Your Highness, I regret to disturb such a beautiful moment, but you must be on your way to the southern lands.” “Oh, of course. I’ll make those maggots pay for ruining this tender exchange between father and child!” he said as he placed an unimaginably massive hand on Shinichi’s shoulder. “Perfect timing. If you would be so kind as to accompany me, I shall show you the reason why I summoned you.” “What? What’s that sup—,” Shinichi tried to say, but a disorienting, floating sensation overwhelmed him from speaking any further. Before he could blink, they moved from the great hall to a grass field squeezed between some mountains. “Did we teleport? Amazing…,” said Shinichi. Having come into this world using teleportation, he felt a little silly commenting on it now, but he couldn’t help himself. He was awestruck by these magical phenomena. He would soon realize he didn’t have much time to soak it all in. “Scorching flames ignite! Fireball!” Just as Shinichi heard a woman’s voice call out in the distance, his ears started ringing from the sound of an explosion. “Wha…?” His field of vision suddenly filled with a flash of crimson light, followed by the sensation of hot winds, carrying the nauseating smell of burned flesh and making him want to vomit. A feeling of dread filled him, but he reflexively looked toward the source. “Is that…a minotaur?” He saw the bull-headed humanoid standing a few hundred feet from them. The minotaur seemed to have sustained damage from the explosion. His entire body was burned raw and red, and white smoke rose from his body as he collapsed onto the ground. “I—I can still fight, moo…!” The bull-headed beast attempted to stand. It was a mystery how he still lived despite his injuries. But before he could get on his feet, a blade swung down and callously severed his head from his body. “Dammit, that one was stubborn,” cursed a man clad entirely in full plate mail as blood dripped from his sword. He had the appearance of a human knight. Behind him, Shinichi could see there was a male warrior wielding an ax, a male ranger carrying a bow, a priestess swinging a mace, and a sorceress holding a twisted wand. “These are…,” Shinichi began. “These are the maggots who have laid waste to my people,” the Demon King spitefully finished before disappearing from Shinichi’s side and reappearing in front of the knight and his party. “You come again and again and refuse to give up, you maggots. I assume you’re prepared for what’s to come.” “Ah, let’s go everyone!” the knight called. For a brief moment, he seemed to show fear under the Demon King’s death glare but immediately regained his composure. The five attacked at once. “Slicing Gale Blade! Hyah!” “Destruction Ax!” “Three-Shot Burst!” “Divine Goddess, grant me an iron hammer of justice against evil! Force!” “Scorching flames ignite! Fireball!” For a moment, the Demon King’s body disappeared beneath the rapid movement of slashing swords, swinging axes, three arrows, an invisible force, and a sphere of flames deployed by the battle party. “Yeah! We got him!” A satisfied grin appeared on the knight’s face, as he was certain there was no way the Demon King could’ve sustained all those powerful attacks and still be standing. But from his position, Shinichi could see otherwise. The knight spoke too soon. To the almighty King, their attacks were as ineffective as a mosquito bite. “Is that all?” he boomed as the flames began clearing. The smoke blew away to reveal his face, with an expression far surpassing anger, and his completely uninjured body. “And to think you actually had me… Begone, pathetic pests!” He raised his right hand, closed into a fist as if to crush an apple. In that moment, the ranger’s body twisted and burst into pieces. “Gaah…!” His blood, sinew, and brain tissue sprayed out in a disgustingly dazzling display of fireworks. Shinichi grimaced at the sight, but the Demon King’s enemies didn’t seem shaken by their companion’s death at all. “Press your attacks! Don’t let him use his magic!” “Hyah!” roared the warrior next as he swung his ax at the colossal figure and finally landed a hit. But to the Demon King, the attack was as gentle as a baby’s hand reaching up to slap him in the face. After all, his body was pure muscle, further reinforced with an inordinate amount of magical power. “That doesn’t even itch,” he said smugly as the ax deflected off his muscular chest. He balled both of his hands together, slamming them onto the fighter’s head. The warrior’s substantial six-and-a-half-foot frame flattened to the thickness of a plank. “Ha-ha-ha, is this a cartoon…?” Shinichi was so beyond horrified at this excessive display of violence that he could only laugh. Far away, the knight’s party refused to run, continuing to launch attacks at the Demon King. “Don’t falter! Charge!” “Hyah! Force!” “Fireball!” “…Maggots.” Apathetic, the Demon King didn’t attempt to dodge their moves. The party was full of one-trick ponies using the same attacks. He entertained them a bit by withstanding all of them, then swung his right hand up to activate his first spell of the battle. “Flames that flicker in the heart of the world, remove this filth! Blue Raging Flare!” Hotter than red flames, more luminous than white, blue hellfire erupted from the ground. It was so bright it almost blinded Shinichi and indiscriminately scorched the entire battlefield. “Are you trying to kill me?” shouted Shinichi. Though he stood far away, the air was hot enough to burn his skin, and he readied himself for death again. A wall of light suddenly appeared in front of him, blocking the scorching gale. “A barrier…?” he whispered in wonder. “They really are a foolish lot,” the dark-skinned, silver-haired maid remarked sharply, standing beside Shinichi, who was stiff from fear. “Uh, Celestia, right?” he asked. “You may call me Celes, Lord Shinichi,” she replied. “Oh, okay. Thank you for saving me, Celes,” said Shinichi, hesitantly expressing his gratitude and extending his hand. Celes glared at it suspiciously. “What do you think you’re doing? Do you intend to grope my ass and use that memory to pleasure yourself later? Disgusting,” she spat. “It’s disgusting you’d assume that!” Shinichi protested before realizing the misunderstanding. Is it not customary to shake hands here? Well, I guess we’re in a different world. I mean, she’s not even human. Shinichi retracted his hand, conscious yet again that he was in a completely foreign world. With that, the slaughter—it’d be wrong to call it a “battle”—was over, and the Demon King returned to the two, looking just a little triumphant. “Celestia, I leave the rest to you. I’ll be returning to the castle.” “Understood, Your Highness.” Celes bowed deeply before advancing into the field, circumventing the land that had melted into glass under the extreme heat. Shinichi was finally composed enough to look around. He noticed a number of corpses scattered across the field: The knight’s party had killed more than just the bull-headed beast from before. “So this is what a battle is like…” Kill or be killed. There was no justice nor morals. The strongest was the one left standing. The only rule was survival of the fittest. As he realized this, Shinichi felt neither fear nor revulsion. Perhaps it was because the reality of the situation had yet to hit him. He still couldn’t process being summoned to another world or seeing the King’s absurdly overabundant display of power. And yet, five strangers were now dead. That was the only certainty he knew. The Demon King let out a bored huff when he saw Shinichi’s concerned expression. “Humph, calling this a ‘battle’ is an affront to the name of the Blue Demon King. Playtime’s over,” he grumbled. “That was play for you…?” If this behemoth fully unleashed his power, the ground would certainly break into two, and the sky would surely tear. It might even look like those paintings of Judgment Day when all hell broke loose. This was why Shinichi’s question came up again. “Why’d you summon me of all people?” he asked. He just couldn’t figure out why this tremendously terrifying beast would need the help of a puny, little high schooler so badly he’d get down on his knees and beg. But the Demon King simply waved Shinichi’s query off. “I’m tired today. We shall speak more tomorrow.” What he had in power, he certainly lacked in responsibility. “Wow, and to think you’re the King…” “Silence! Today, I get to bathe with my daughter and read her a book before bedtime!” “Wait, isn’t that a crime?! Rino’s too old for that! (I think?) Geez, cut the cord already!” “Be quiet, be quiet! She always said she was ‘gonna marry Daddy’! Yes, it’s fine!” “How many years ago was that?!” In the face of such unhealthy parental attachment, Shinichi forgot formality and lashed out at the Demon King with an impolite retort. The Demon King didn’t respond. Instead, he placed his hands on Shinichi’s shoulders and activated his teleportation magic. In that split second, as they teleported off the blood-soaked battlefield, Shinichi suddenly felt like something was off. Wait. Were two of the men’s bodies missing? The bodies of the first two killed—the ranger and the warrior—had disappeared from the battlefield. Shinichi wondered if they’d been obliterated by the blue flames, but he didn’t dwell on it too much and quickly forgot all about it. “Good morning, Lord Shinichi.” Most boys only dreamed of being woken up by a busty, tan, silver-haired beauty in a maid outfit, so Shinichi made sure to soak in this precious moment, even though he was feeling low. “Well, I figured it wasn’t a dream,” Shinichi muttered, resigning himself to his fate and getting out of the extravagant bed in the guest room. “Breakfast has been served. This way, please,” said Celes, exiting the room with Shinichi scurrying behind her in tow. His stomach growled. Oh yeah, I guess I haven’t eaten anything for, like, an entire day. Shinichi had been so worn out by the events of the day before that he’d immediately fallen asleep once he’d been shown his room. Consequently, he still hadn’t learned why he’d been summoned. “This way,” called Celes. She led him into a room, smaller than he anticipated for a dining hall in a castle. In fact, it was only about the size of a classroom, though the ceiling was fairly high to accommodate their ten-foot-tall monarch as he entered and exited. In the center of this chamber, the Demon King and Rino already occupied the middle seats of a marble table, which looked quite expensive, as they awaited Shinichi’s arrival. “Good morning, Shinichi,” chirped Rino. “Morning, Rino,” he replied. “First, we eat. Then we can talk,” commanded the Demon King. Celes pulled out a chair for him, and Shinichi accepted the monarch’s offer to have some breakfast. But when Celes placed a plate in front of him, he couldn’t help wrinkling his nose in disgust. “What is this?” he exclaimed. Gilded with gold accents, the plate looked inconceivably expensive, which brought even more attention to the purple…thing on it. “Parbegut meat,” answered Celes. “Come again?” “Like I said, it’s a roasted parbegut.” “……” Though Celes took the time to expand on her original comment, Shinichi couldn’t make sense of it and sat in stunned silence. Up until this point, Shinichi had been conversing pretty normally with the Demon King and everyone else, but he hadn’t, in fact, been speaking Japanese. Thanks to a magic spell that freely translated between the two languages, Shinichi had been speaking quite naturally in their tongue. This spell had probably been activated when he was summoned. For example, just now, when Celes said “roasted,” she’d actually pronounced it “bibinana.” The spell took the word bibinana, translated it to “a dish of roasted meat,” and simplified it into “roasted,” just like our great teacher, Goo–le. And it did all this right inside Shinichi’s head so he knew exactly what they were saying. Though the spell worked astonishingly well, it didn’t necessarily download their vocabulary into his brain. So if a word had no equivalent in Japanese, it was left as it was. In other words, the spell couldn’t suggest a replacement for parbegut, the meat of some mysterious animal that definitely didn’t exist on Earth. “What’s wrong? Are you not going to eat?” asked the Demon King, giving Shinichi a strange look while picking up the purple-colored flesh and setting on it voraciously. Well, the meat probably wasn’t poisonous—at least, that’s what Shinichi wanted to believe. Then again, weren’t onions poisonous to dogs but safe for humans? So this wasn’t remotely a guarantee the dish was safe for him. Despite all this, he knew it’d be rude not to eat the food he’d been given. And Shinichi was starving. He gathered every last bit of courage, picked up the parbegut meat with his hands, and closed his eyes as he bit into it. “…That…is vile.” After chewing ten times and swallowing, that was the only way he could describe the experience. “Seriously, what the hell is this?! It’s absolutely disgusting!” Though aware this was expressly not how a guest should respond to a feast, he couldn’t stop himself. This mysterious parbegut was so repulsive, even his hunger—the world’s best spice—did nothing to mask its taste. Its texture was squishy like clay, and a raw fishy odor emanated from its juices. The fat had neither the sweetness nor the bitterness one might expect from meat and tasted exactly like nothing. It was so disgusting it made him question his entire existence. He would’ve much rather eaten paper instead. And couldn’t he get a little bit of praise and recognition for keeping it down rather than vomiting it back up? “Something must be wrong with the ingredients if this thing tastes so terrible roasted. Roasting something is, like, the simplest way to cook… Or are my taste buds weird?” he asked, suddenly self-conscious. It could very well have been that this was considered gourmet in this world. Maybe their palates were different from his. If that was the case, he felt bad for his outburst and sheepishly looked at the Demon King, who shook his head grimly. “You’re not in the wrong. This is part of the reason why I summoned you.” “What?” Shinichi gaped, incredulous. “It isn’t just parbegut. Even to us, all foods from the demon world are, um… very not good,” explained Rino after hesitating for a moment. Her sweet smile was replaced with an uncharacteristic bitterness. “I know not why. All I know is all food from the demon world is absolutely foul,” said the Demon King. “Okay, could you please explain everything to me—starting with this ‘demon world’?” asked Shinichi. Obviously, this world of darkness—this demon world—had to exist, since they had a Demon King, but he didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings. “Well then, allow me to start,” offered Celes from behind, responding to Shinichi’s question. “Intelligent creatures born with magical prowess are who we call demons, and the world in which we reside is called the demon world.” “Uh-huh…” “Unlike the ‘human world’ and its rising red sun, the blue sun always shines in the demon world. There’s no such thing as night,” she continued. “A blue sun? I’d like to see that sometime,” said Shinichi. Though it certainly piqued his interest, he realized it probably wasn’t entirely safe. He’d probably die instantly of suffocation under their poisonous atmosphere. “Anyway, as Lady Rino explained, the food available in the demon world is all unpalatable,” continued Celes, getting the conversation back on track. “Though most people don’t seem to mind and keep eating it…,” said Rino. Her face was sad as she recalled the time no one listened to her talk about the importance of taste. “Have demons lost some of their taste buds due to the environment?” inquired Shinichi. The number of taste buds—the receptors on your tongue that sense flavor—vary among animals. For example, herbivores have lots of taste buds to avoid eating poisonous plants, while carnivores have very few as they simply eat the spoils of the hunt. There were even animals, like snakes, that had no taste buds at all. “Maybe,” he speculated, “in exchange for your taste buds, your stomach evolved into one that’s strong as steel and resistant to food poisoning or something.” “I wonder. I do believe those resistant to poison have dulled tastes.” Celes cocked her head as she considered Shinichi’s theory. Regardless, the majority of demons weren’t at all concerned with taste. On the other side, there was the minority, like their ruler and his daughter, who were aware of the terrible flavors but had endured them up until now…or something like that. “Mommy loves to travel. She’s visited all kinds of places. A little while ago, she visited the human world,” said Rino. “She left ‘to find someone stronger’ than her. Unfortunately, though, no human was strong enough to satisfy her,” the Demon King added casually. “What are you, some kind of martial arts group?” quipped Shinichi dryly. This information made it an even greater mystery how the Demon King and his equally combative wife had raised their daughter to be such a good and honest child. “When Mommy came back, she brought me food called bread from the human world.” She’d given leftover human food to her wide-eyed daughter upon returning home. This gift had carried no deeper meaning. After all, her mother was generally uninterested in flavors and didn’t place much value on human food. Her daughter, however, reacted theatrically after placing the bread in her mouth. “It was just so delicious…,” recalled Rino with a smile melting across her face. Later, Shinichi would discover this bread was more like hardtack—heavily salted and dried out to prevent it from spoiling. Born in twenty-first-century Japan with its tasty treats, Shinichi would’ve found it barely edible, calling it too hard, too salty, and too disgusting. In fact, if he were to rate it on a scale from zero to one hundred, it would’ve scored a solid five. But compared to the food in the demon world, which would’ve scored negative one thousand, it was so delicious to Rino and her sensitive, young palate, it could’ve opened heaven’s gate to paradise.