♣♣♣
“………!”
I jolted awake. How long has it been…?
What happened… I… Wait, did I fall asleep?! Ugh…I guess it makes sense. I am a baby.
But being a baby just made a whole slew of other problems rise to the surface. Real issues that tormented me in the here and now. Like being hungry…and really, really needing to pee. The hunger I could put up with—or rather, it’s not like I had much of a choice—but my bladder issues were approaching critical mass!
The fact I’d been a grown adult in my past life not a few hours ago made it absolutely awful to put up with. But worse yet, this little ark I was in was hermetically sealed. Whether I went number one or number two, it’d be a catastrophe, both in terms of smell and, worse yet, my dignity. How could I live it down?!
Still, crying about it would only attract predators that might gulp the whole ark up and put a swift end to my newly gained second life before I even had a chance to properly start it!
I can’t die this soon! Someone help meeeeee!
But then, I thought I heard something.
Huh? Did I imagine that…? Wait, no, I definitely heard it!
I could clearly hear someone wading through the water, approaching me. Someone was here to save me!
“There we go…mm?”
Yeah, I just heard someone’s voice!
I opened my eyes just as someone roughly opened the lid to my ark. A dirty, bearded face looked down at me, with the starry sky as its backdrop.
…Er…he totally looks like some kind of villain… B-But wait, no, I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. M-Maybe he’s actually really nice?
Given the situation, I had no choice but to rely on this person for help.
Please help me! Don’t send me down the river again!
“Tch, a baby?”
With a click of his tongue, the man closed the ark’s lid, and I could hear him walking. But this time, it was different from the sloshing water. He was probably carrying me up a hill.
“Hey, what happened?”
“What was inside?”
“Take a look.”
I could hear more adults. As I looked up, the ark opened again, except this time, several grimy, bearded faces greeted me, blotting out the starry sky.
…Th-They all look like scumbags. Nooooooo!
“Gaaaah, gaaaaaaaaaaah!” The scumbag face roulette made me bawl.
Th-They stink! Haven’t they heard of a bath before?!
They smelled of iron and the distinctive body odor given off by middle-aged men.
“Aaah, someone shut this pipsqueak up!”
“Hey, is there anything expensive-lookin’ in there? All I see is this dirty rock.”
“Oh, but this silk cloth looks kinda snazzy.”
“Nothin’ else of value in there… Tch. Hey, Boss!”
…Boss?
The man that picked me up and a few other men roughly lifted up my ark and started walking. The sound of a bonfire’s crackling and crude laughter reached my ears.
I have a bad feeling about this…
“Yo, boys. What did you find?”
“This silk cloth is the most valuable thing. The only other things in there were this baby and some pebble.”
“Oh, silk sells for a pretty sum. A baby, though… What race is it?”
“She looks human. See, no fur or fluffy ears.”
“No scales or a tail, either… Oh, but check it out; it’s a girl!”
Noooooooooooooooooo!
They tore my blanket and clothing away, unveiling me for all present (a group of middle-aged men!) to see.
Creeps! Perverts! Sick perverted creeps!
One of them lifted me up by one leg and dangled me upside down in what was probably the worst possible way to hold a baby. But forget appearances or gentleness. Him holding me like that only made me…
“Gaah!”
…incapable of restraining myself. And it really, honestly wasn’t my fault, but…
Aaah… Just kill me… I thought as shameful relief overtook me.
“Gaaaaah! Gaaaaaah!” I cried out.
“Ya little shit!”
“Gahahaha! The baby pissed on ya!”
“Shit, wait, the fire’s goin’ out!”
He flourished me about, still holding me by the leg. This time, I wasn’t screaming just out of embarrassment—it hurt.
O-Ow, my leg! What are these guys doing?! Wait, no, did this guy just try to throw me into the fire?! You can’t do that to a baby—Ow! My leg feels like it’s tearing off! Stop it! Let me down! It huuurts!
“A baby, huh…? What do we do with it, Boss?”
“Well, we could probably sell her to a slave merchant in Edesa Kura for some coin. It’s a girl, so we could also keep her around for our pleasure, huh? Or… Here’s a thought. We could teach her how to kill and make her work for us as an assassin! She’ll net us a fortune.”
“Oh, I like it! And if we have her to keep us company, we won’t have to kidnap any village girls anymore either!”
“Nah, there’s that extra-special something about bedding girls you kidnapped yourself…”
“I guess…”
“’Sides, stealing’s our job! If we don’t taste the spoils every now and then, we’ll lose our touch!”
“Ahahaha! Ya ain’t wrong!”
Wh-What are these people saying…?! Are these guys… No, they’re definitely thieves! No way… Why did I get picked up by them, of all people…? They’re going to make me a slave…or an assassin…? To hell with that! If I stay with these people, they’ll kill me sooner or later!
Someone! Anyone! Heeeeelp!
“Gaaaaah! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” I bellowed out.
“Zip it, pipsqueak!”
“Gaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Forget it, Boss, let’s just flay this tyke. You really think we can raise a kid?”
“Well, I guess you’re not wrong there… Though we could just abduct some girl from a village and have her raise the kid for us… Huh?”
Help! Somebody! Anybody! I don’t want to die here and I don’t want these creeps to take advantage of me or make me a slave! Please! Help, please!
The only thing I could do was wail and cry out helplessly. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried out as hard as I could, so I didn’t even have the leisure of appreciating the starry sky.
But before long, the bandits started fighting something. Apparently, my crying had summoned something they hadn’t expected. I could hear gurgling and screams and the ominous sound of something snapping. By the time I’d grown too tired to cry any longer, the sound of an animal’s growling had reached my little ears—a distinct gurgling sound.
W-Wait… Wait up… I just imagined that, right…? Th-This isn’t happening…
“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…!”
“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” I cried out in fear.
A-Animals!
A pack of animals, crimson blood dripping from their jaws, was circling me! And while I couldn’t see it, I could clearly hear the sound of crunching and smashing.
“U-Ugh… B-Boss… H-Help… Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”