“Heh-heh-heh… Human intelligence at work. That’s smoked cheese. Want another bite?” “Yes!” “By all means, help yourself. In exchange, I simply ask for your aid when we get to Arcane Court headquarters.” “Done!” Uroboros was grinning from ear to ear. Across from her, the chief secretary was practically cackling, but the god was so taken by the taste of the cheese that she didn’t notice. “Chief Secretary? I didn’t realize you had gotten so good at wrangling Uroboros.” “Ha-ha-ha, Fay! Good food is the key to friendship between any beings,” she said, taking out another bag of cheese. “On that note, would you like to try one, Lady Leoleshea?” “Don’t talk to me right now, Miranda.” Beside the chief secretary, Leshea was playing by herself, industriously working on a house of cards. One might expect it to come tumbling down the moment the train rattled, slowed down, or sped up, but Leshea claimed she liked it that way—that it was more challenging. “Heh-heh… I’m almost there. Two more levels to go!” The pyramid of cards was coming together nicely, and the closer Leshea got to the end, the more excited she looked. “You can do it, Leshea!” “Thanks, Pearl!” One more level. Leshea picked up the last two cards, preparing to balance them on the very top… “Emergency signal detected.” Skreeech! With the howl of metal against metal, the emergency brakes brought the train to a halt. “Yikes!” “Eep!” Fay and Nel were thrown forward in their seats by the force of the stop. “We’ve been informed that wild Rexes are running along the tracks one kilometer ahead. For your safety, the train has been stopped until the herd clears.” “That sure was startling. So that’s what the emergency brakes feel like,” Pearl said, dabbing at the sweat on her forehead. “Say, Leshea? Did the sudden sto—” She didn’t even finish her question. Leshea’s cards were fluttering to the ground. The pyramid had been unable to withstand the abrupt stop, sending all of Leshea’s effort up in smoke. “……” Leshea was absolutely silent. She stared into the distance, still holding the two cards that should have crowned her carefully assembled house. Finally, she said, “Whose…fault…was that, Pearl?” “I-it wasn’t me! It was because the train came to an emergency stop!” “Ah, yes. The train.” Something that looked like flames began to emanate from Leshea’s body. “So it’s the conductor’s fault.” This was bad—Pearl deduced that the conductor was in mortal danger and took immediate action. She grabbed Leshea, who was starting to stand. “N-no, I take it back! It’s the Rexes’ fault the train came to an emergency halt!” “Then those Rexes need to be annihilated.” “Eep! Please don’t annihilate anything?! W-wait, I take it back again! I’m sure the Rexes are only there because it’s the natural thing to do…” “Then it’s time to burn nature to the ground.” “That’s not my point! W-wait, just wait! I’m sure what lies behind this is, y-you know, destiny, or logic itself!” “I think I’ll go back to annihilating the Rexes.” “I’m telling you, you can’t do thaaaaaaaaat!” 2 Cherry blossom petals fluttered in the air all over the city. The “hundred-year cherry blossoms” that lined the avenue bloomed year-round, be it spring, summer, fall, or even winter. Every time the wind gusted, it sent thousands—no, tens of thousands—of petals scattering like snow. This was the Flower-Viewing City of Aerlrith. “Wow. I’d heard the stories, but it really is beautiful,” Fay said, looking up at the sky, which was practically blocked from view by cherry blossoms. Indeed, there were cherry blossoms as far as the eye could see. Their petals danced by on the wind, brushing Fay’s cheeks and piling up on his shoulders. It was like snowfall. “Oh, wow! Amazing! I’ve never seen such beautiful blossoms before!” Pearl said, catching some in her hand and gazing at them in admiration. Incidentally, Leshea and Uroboros were both giving them quizzical looks, as if unsure what all the fuss was about. “My, they’re very elegant. No matter how many times I come here, I always love it,” said Miranda, who was in high spirits. She was drinking straight from a bottle, too nonchalant to even bother with pouring her drink into a cup. “They have excellent quality water here, which means excellent alcohol. And cherry blossoms and alcohol—well! You know what I’m saying, Nel?” “Erm… Well…” Nel frowned. “I’m still underage, so no, not really…but I’m sure those two things are what you need for a flower-viewing party.” “A hot spring!” the chief secretary said, letting some of the petals settle into her palm. “Here’s what you do. You float a tray in the bath, then you put a bottle on it and sip spirits. Now that’s how real adults enjoy themselves! The final stop humans have found on the ride of life!” “But, uh, Madam Chief Secretary? Isn’t drinking too much bad for your health?” Miranda really did look extremely satisfied, but Nel was obviously disturbed by her advice. “You had a beer on the train, and you’ve been drinking straight out of the bottle since we got to this city. And now you want to sit in a hot spring and drink. Won’t you be completely inebriated?” “……Mm.” Miranda just made a noise. Undeterred, Nel continued. “Anyway, if you ask me, alcohol has a hundred drawbacks and no benefits. They say not to let alcohol drink you, and indeed, it carries the risk of addiction. Even if it didn’t, filling your stomach with alcohol decreases your appetite for food, which harms your nutritional balance. Moreover, the violent, uncouth displays of drunkards are simply scandalous. It’s one thing to harm oneself, but I can’t abide dragging other people into—” “Whazzat?” The chief secretary swirled her now-empty bottle, her eyes bloodshot. “Listen, Nel, sweetie, you’re right that alcohol’s no good for your health. However. Which do you think is worse: a little drink, or working for a week straight with practically no sleep because your apostles are making trouble yet again? For example, suppose a formerly retired apostle from Mal-ra were to suddenly show up begging to face the Bookmaker because she wants to make a comeback…” “…Kgh?!” Nel made a choked noise, and her eyes went wide. “W-well, that—” “And then, after her comeback, she wants to officially move to Ruin. That takes paperwork, you know. Meanwhile, our divine gate leading to the Bookmaker hasn’t been used in decades, so it has to be prepared, permissions need to be applied for—it’s a lot of work. I pulled an all-nighter to deal with the red tape for that.” “U-um, yes, I…” The chief secretary was pressing ever closer to Nel, who, overwhelmed and cornered, found herself with nowhere to go but into the street. “Ahem… I’m…very grateful to you, of course, Chief Secretary…” “I think that’s when I started drinking more. Stress was keeping me up at night, so I started relying on alcohol to get to dreamland. And you, the one who did this to me, you say you can’t abide causing trouble for others? Now that, I can’t—” “I’m sorryyyyyyy!” In the face of Miranda’s onslaught, Nel caved and prostrated herself on the ground. Drawn in by the promise of seeing the relentless flurry of blossoms alight on the surface of their baths, tourists to the Flower-Viewing City of Aerlrith all shared a single objective: the hot springs. The Cherry Blossom-Cypress hot spring was particularly famous. The tubs were made of thoroughly smoked cypress, with no end of petals fluttering about. And in the changing room… “What? Tiny Human’s not here?” “No. I tried to invite him, but he said he was embarrassed because he was the only guy. He’s playing games back in the room.” “That’s too bad…especially since guys and girls can share the baths here because everyone wears swimsuits,” said Pearl. “Mm-hmm. It would have been a fine opportunity for us to all enjoy a bath together,” Nel agreed. She, Uroboros, Leshea, and Pearl went in with their changes of clothes, their towels, and their cypress-wood bathing buckets. Fay was, as the conversation indicated, not present. “Aww, Fay is so innocent!” said Miranda, who had filled her bucket with hot sake. The chief secretary was already done changing, dressed in a two-piece swimsuit with her towel wrapped around her shoulders. She glanced from the changing room into the bath. “Looks like there are plenty of male customers. And lots of parents with their kids, too—the swimsuit rule makes it very accessible.” She took off her glasses, which were steamed up from the bath, and put them carefully in their case. “His loss for getting all embarrassed. To take a bath surrounded by so many cute girls is like a scene from a dream!” “…Did you hear that, Pearl?” “…Yes, Nel. Yes, I did.” They were whispering to each other. “The chief secretary just casually included herself when she said ‘cute girls,’” said Nel. “Girls, yes. Girls. And not only that—” “Did you two say something?” ““Nothing, ma’am!”” they chorused, then raced out of the changing room. In a corner, apart from the chatty trio, an UNDEFEATED T-shirt was pulled off with gusto and tossed aside. “So this is a hot spring!” Uroboros had changed in an instant. Her swimsuit was a plain blue one-piece, but just like her T-shirt, it had the word UNDEFEATED printed across the chest. Unique indeed. The moment she saw the bath, her eyes lit up. “It is a tiny sea! Wait, why is it steaming?” “That’s not a sea,” Leshea informed her. She was dressed in a frilly two-piece suit the same color as her hair. It was very cute, and the bold hue made her stand out among all the other visitors. And yet…she was studying Uroboros, her brow furrowed. Specifically, she seemed transfixed by the god’s chest. Finally, she muttered, “You do have them.” Yes. Despite her baby-face and small stature, Uroboros did, indeed, “have them.” In fact, she was strikingly voluptuous. Even in her one-piece suit, which didn’t show too much skin, her considerable cleavage was apparent. “…No!” Leshea said finally. “I haven’t lost. Even I can hold my own here…” “Oh-ho-ho! Impressed by mine immense size, Tiny Dragon?” asked Uroboros, who had noticed Leshea looking. She smirked and very deliberately puffed out her chest. “You say we are equal, Tiny Dragon? I think not—consider chest divided by height!” “!” Leshea twitched. “W-we’d have to measure that to know for sure!” “Would we indeed? After all, I am undefeated! In fact, I yearn to know defeat!” “Undefeated? You’re undefeated?” This was the Endless God’s own “killer phrase,” but in the face of it, Leshea rose to the challenge with a mischievous smile on her face. “Heh-heh-heh! You want to know defeat? Mwa-ha-ha! Such foolishness!” “Hmm? What is it, Tiny Dragon?” Something was strange. Uroboros frowned, noticing the change in Leshea’s demeanor. “Let me introduce you to defeat, then. Come forth, Pearl!” After a moment, Leshea’s shout faded to silence in the changing room. “Pearl! Answer me!” “Y-yes?! What is it, Leshea?” Pearl hurriedly turned around. She was wrapped in a bath towel, and if she looked a little embarrassed, well, Leshea had caught her just as she was about to change into her swimsuit. “Um, I’m sorry, I’m still changing…” “That’s perfect.” “Excuse me?” Pearl approached them, still towel-clad. She stood where Leshea pointed, in front of Uroboros. “…?” Uroboros looked up at her, perplexed. “What are you playing at, Tiny Dragon?” “Now, Snakey, behold! Pearl, give us a cheer!” “Huh? L-like I’m cheering? H-hooray!” Swish! The moment Pearl threw her arms up like she was celebrating something, Leshea moved. With godlike speed, she whipped off Pearl’s towel. The seal was broken. There stood Pearl, without a scrap of clothing and with nowhere to hide from Uroboros. At the sight… “………?!” The Endless God, for the first time in her life, saw something bigger than she was. “Eeeek! Wh-what are you doing, Leshea?!” Pearl cried, but Leshea didn’t answer. She was too busy looking down on the shaking, quivering Uroboros, who had fallen to her knees. “Now you understand.” “…………Hngh!” Uroboros rose unsteadily to her feet. Her head was spinning like she’d been hit with a hammer, but the sound of Leshea’s voice appeared to have brought her back to her senses. “Chesty!” she said. “Y-yes? What is it— Aaah! Wh-what are you doing?!” Pearl exclaimed again, her face going bright red. And for good reason. Uroboros had stuck out both her hands and firmly seized hold of Pearl’s ample endowment. “What in the world is this?! What quantity!” “Please don’t shout that while you’re grabbing my chest!” “Even with clothes on I could tell you were large, but who knew that under the veil of your clothing you were hiding more than even a god could measure. The size…!” Uroboros’s eyes opened wide. “These are on a cosmic scale encompassing all phenomena and all physical laws!” “I’ve never heard of that kind of scale!” “This is the end of this world!” “Should a god be saying that?!” It was then that Nel wandered over. “That’s my Pearl!” “You too, Nel?!” “I know… I understand! I can tell that since the last time I saw them, they’ve grown even bigger… Huh?! They’ve increased in size even since your contest with Minotaur!” “I never had any contest?!” “Growth!” Uroboros exclaimed—while maintaining a firm grip on Pearl’s chest. “Chesty, your chest continues to grow when already so big… That means you’ll continue to expand endlessly! Who knew there was another being even more endless than mineself?!” “It’s definitely not endless!” “…Guh.” Uroboros drew back, taking her hands off Pearl’s chest, and for some reason started to remove her own swimsuit. What was she doing? As Nel and Pearl watched in surprise, Uroboros produced a permanent marker from who knew where and began to write on her swimsuit. Beneath the word UNDEFEATED, she added in smaller letters ONE DRAW. “…I allowed mineself to become dismayed,” she said with a sigh. She put the revised swimsuit back on and, for some reason, started to chuckle. “Heh-heh-heh… I see now. So this is how it feels to be the challenger. I’ve not tasted such bitterness—it runs deep, but at the bottom one finds a burning drive!” “Um… Um?” “Just wait, Chesty! You will see! See mine own endless growth!” And then, still in her swimsuit, Uroboros dashed outside. “I will be right back! And when we meet again, I will have grown yet further!” “Lady Uroboros?!” Miranda came racing out of the bath, but by the time she got to them, Uroboros was already at the door of the changing room. “We’re supposed to go to headquarters tomorrow!” “That doesn’t matter!” “Yes, it does—yikes?!”
Chapter 100
13 min read