I knew well that the idea of a pure, naive, inexperienced young lady who was therefore easy to have your way with was only a sad male fantasy. The real deal tended to be pretty harsh and even sadistic. For example:
“By the way, I’ve been smelling girl on you all day,” Yomiuri said. “What’s the deal? Are you seeing someone?”
“Don’t be silly… Um, do I really smell like girl?”
“Oh yeah. It’s pungent. I wonder how much intense flirting it would take to make you smell like that.”
“I’m leaving early. I’ll go home and take a shower.”
“Hey, I was only kidding. Don’t leave me here by myself!” Yomiuri cried, clinging to me as I sniffed the sleeve of my uniform and pretended to make my way out the door.
Yomiuri and I were the only ones there. Peak hours had passed, but managing the rest of the shift alone would have been tough. Of course, I was only joking and wasn’t seriously considering going home.
“You told me something before about a stepsister moving in with you,” she said.
“Oh yeah.”
That’s right, I had discussed the matter with her previously.
When I learned that Ayase and I were the same age, I wasn’t sure what kind of distance was appropriate, and I’d asked Yomiuri for advice as my only real female acquaintance who I felt comfortable talking to.
She’d found the whole thing amusing. All she did was tease me; she didn’t offer any useful advice.
“I can’t say anything, since all you’ve told me is that she’s a girl. Different people have different personalities, interests, and values,” she’d said. Her argument sounded convincing, and I wasn’t about to complain.
“How is she? Is she cute?” Yomiuri asked.
“I don’t think it’s right to look at her that way.”
“I know you aren’t the type of lech who’d be over the moon to have a girl move in with him. I’m just asking you for an objective observation.”
“…Beautiful… I think she’s beautiful,” I answered honestly.
My words were muddled because I felt uneasy and a little guilty talking that way about someone of the opposite sex who would be living with me as part of my family.
We might take similar positions on interpersonal relationships, but I wasn’t so brazen as to start telling people that Ayase and I were close. We were hardly living on the same planet.
Ayase had a nice figure and a great face, dyed her hair a pretty gold color, and was fashionable, wearing clothes and jewelry that suited her perfectly. She was positive and outgoing, too. Obviously not an introvert like I was.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought compliments from a shy weirdo like me were not only unpleasant but downright gross.
“Good job, tiger!” Yomiuri said. “So you’ll be living with a hottie. Spring has come.”
“Nothing is going to happen.”
“Something could happen.”
“Stop it. You sound like a dirty old man.”
“I can’t help it. I went to all-girls schools from junior high straight through college.”
“Are you trying to ruin their reputation…?”
“But that’s really how they are.”
“…Seriously?”
“It’s up to you whether to believe it or not… Ha-ha.”
Yomiuri winked playfully like she was reciting the opening line from some TV show about urban legends. I mentally chose not to believe her. I wanted to preserve the sacred image in my heart of all-girls schools being lily-filled gardens of learning.
“I’m a healthy young guy, so sure, there are moments when I start imagining things. But I honestly don’t think it’s the time to have evil thoughts.”
“Hmm?”
“Think about it. I’m living under the same roof as a girl my age. That’s a huge challenge for a guy like me who has zero experience with the opposite sex.”
“What do you think I am, exactly?”
“You’re more like a guy.”
“Ah-ha-ha! Hey, that’s going too far! That said, you’re probably right.”
“You’re like a male friend to me—an older guy I can depend on.”
I mean, she even told dirty jokes… Though, it was possible women were even nastier than men when it came to stuff like that.
“Ah-ha-ha-ha. Wow… Pfft. Ha-ha-ha… Okay, I got it. I can tell by what you just said that your skills with girls are disastrous.”
“…I won’t deny it or make excuses.”
I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
“I’m seriously unsure what attitude I should take as her stepsibling,” I continued. “How should I treat her? I’m up to my neck with things to worry about, so I don’t have the time to be happy about living with a beautiful girl.”
“I think you’ll be okay if you just act natural.”
“But won’t she dislike me?”
“Do you dislike me when I act natural?”
“…Not at all.”
“See?”
“But you’re beautiful… Someone beautiful acting natural and an introvert like me acting natural are two totally different things.”
“Your self-esteem is way too low. I like you just fine, Yuuta.”
“But you’re weird…”
“Oh-ho! Way to one-eighty. That’s good. Artistic.”
“See, that’s exactly what I mean.”
Yomiuri instantly takes on the persona of a professional critic when she likes something I say. According to her, it’s a special move just for book-loving girls. Apparently, she’s always looking for beautiful rhetoric hidden in our daily lives.
In effect, this was no different from middle-aged men thinking up corny jokes every second of the day, but I decided to keep that cruel truth locked away in my heart.
As I stood there, sadly contemplating the similarities between a beautiful literature afficionado and a perverted old man, Yomiuri remembered something and ran to the sales floor.
She returned a short while later, holding a book in her hands.
“Found it. Here, I suggest you read this,” she said.
“The Chemistry of Men and Women?”
“It talks about ways to befriend others—particularly those of the opposite sex—based on psychological studies. I use it as a reference, too.”
“It looks interesting.”
That was my honest reaction as I flipped through the pages. I glanced at the table of contents and instantly felt I needed to read this book.
First, it said, you should get to know the other person.
Then you should get to know yourself.
And in order to do that, you should learn to see yourself objectively.
Other books I’d read said similar things. That’s why I’d always striven to live my life while seeing myself objectively. This was nothing particularly new.
But one line in the table of contents drew my attention:
“Keep a diary if you want to improve your ability to see objectively!”
This advice was specific and immediately achievable. That alone made me interested in checking out the book.
Since reading was my hobby, I often came across works similar to others I’d read in the past, and because they discussed the same topics, I was able to enjoy the characteristics of each author and the different ways they addressed things.
Perhaps Yomiuri could tell that the table of contents interested me. She flashed me an evil grin like a succubus.