Come to think of it, there was a period when Dad started spending a lot on clothes and cologne. At the time, I’d told myself it was just the price of participating in adult society. I’d never imagined he was trying to woo a woman.
“H-hey, Akiko. Saki!”
Just then, Dad came out of his bedroom. The spray bottle of air freshener in his hand had just revealed his middle-school-level ploy to impress. I froze.
“D-Dad…”
Put that away already, I thought. I’m doing my best to go along with your plan. Don’t show off the evidence.
Since I couldn’t tell him out loud, I tried to communicate through eye contact. But my efforts were in vain, and he flashed a smile I was sure he must have practiced a hundred times in front of his mirror.
“Welcome to our home! W-we’ll be living under the same roof now, and w-we’re going to h-have a w-wonderful life together!”
A home run. He’d said it all—a veritable exhibition of cringe.
His wording was creepy, he stuttered, he tried too hard to sound enthusiastic, and the practiced look on his face was almost painful to see.
“Thank you for the big welcome!” Akiko exclaimed. “Here, this is from me!”
“A whole leg of prosciutto? Mmm. We’ll have a real party tonight!”
They were an easy-to-please couple if that was all it took to get their spirits up.
Akiko hadn’t noticed the Febreze, and Dad was fine with all the bags she had brought. They were both a little odd, but maybe that made them a good match.
“Hey, Asamura?” Ayase said.
“Hmm?”
“Will you show me to my room? I’d like to see it.”
“Oh, um, yeah… Okay.”
Leaving the adults and their weird, cheery atmosphere behind, Ayase and I put the department-store shopping bags in the living area and headed to her room.
“This is it,” I said.
“Wow…”
“We set up the bed and curtains, but we didn’t know what color sheets you liked, so you can change them if you want. I thought a desk by the window would be typical, but tell me if you want it moved someplace else.”
“Thanks. You really went to the trouble to set everything up for me… I’m impressed.”
She slipped past me and walked into the middle of the room. Though her tone was flat, her eyes were busy taking in her surroundings like a curious cat.
A girl my age was standing right in front of me. She was a rare beauty, with her brightly dyed hair and fashionable appearance. I wasn’t sure if it was her shampoo, pheromones, or some special power at work that a virgin like me couldn’t understand, but a sweet scent like roasted honey permeated the air.
She turned around, that scent lingering in her wake.
“It’s so spacious,” she said.
“Is it? I think it’s pretty standard.”
“Our last place was a shabby studio apartment. I didn’t even have my own room.”
“Oh, so you and Akiko had to spread out futons every night…or something?”
No wonder all the furniture looked new.
“Not exactly. I had the place to myself at night. I went to school during the day, and my mom worked at night, so our routines were completely reversed.”
“It must have been pretty carefree living like that, though. Now you’re going to have to deal with two extra guys in the house. I apologize for the inconvenience.”
“…That’s okay, but…can I ask you something?”
“Of course. What is it?”
“The way you talk.”
“Huh?”
“Why do you sound so formal? Not that I want you to change your beliefs or principles or anything.”
Did she think I was in some weird cult? I guess I did unquestioningly accept the idea that you should be polite to people you were meeting for the first time or those of higher rank, which might be some kind of Japanese religious thing I wasn’t aware of. But that aside…
“I’m actually not sure…,” I said.
“We’re the same age. You can be casual with me. You don’t have to go out of your way to be polite.”
“That’s all the more reason to be formal.”
“Huh? Isn’t it weird to talk to your friends and classmates like they’re above you?”
“That kind of attitude is for outgoing, successful people.”
In my sixteen years, I’d barely ever talked to girls, particularly eye-catching ones like Ayase. It might sound easy to her, but it wasn’t so simple for me to act casual and friendly.
“You think so?” she asked. “Well, I won’t complain, but you don’t have to try to please me if that’s what this is.”
“No, it’s not about that… Oh.”
A thought occurred to me midsentence.
I recalled the day we first met when we were leaving the restaurant. Ayase had suggested we not expect anything from each other.
No expectations. I repeated these words in my mind as I posed a question to her.
“To make things clear, I want to ask you directly: Would you prefer if I wasn’t…formal with you?”
“Yeah, it would be easier if we could be casual. I mean, I’m not someone you have to respect.”
“Okay. Got it.”
I shrugged, dropping my formal tone.
Ayase’s eyes widened in surprise.
“That was quick.”
“I gotta admit, it isn’t easy to talk to you like we’re old friends, but it’s the least I can do, since you’re being so straightforward. As long as you’re up front with me, everything will be easier.”
“Aha. I thought so.”
She smiled. It felt like my first peek at a softer side to her beneath the flat, cold-as-concrete impression she usually gave off.
“It’s nice that we can hash things out like this,” she said.
“Hashing things out, huh? That’s a good way to put it.”
She was right. That’s exactly what this exchange was.
Ayase had thrown me the ball first by suggesting that I didn’t have to be formal while leaving room for me to decline in case I had some special religious belief. Then I tossed the ball back into her court by checking what she preferred, and we settled on neutral ground based on her positive reply.
You might have thought that sounded like a perfectly simple and normal conversation. But it was actually my first time going over something so smoothly.
In most cases, humans seek understanding and empathy from others:
“You should understand how I feel even if I don’t explain myself!” “Why can’t you see that what you’re saying irritates me?!”
…As if a person could look inside someone else’s brain. Humans always expect so much from each other.
It’s easier to lay out all the cards at the start:
“If you say x, y, or z, I’ll get angry.” “This thing is really important to me.” “I see. In that case, let’s do things this way.”
Exchange information about yourselves, not because you’re hoping for mutual understanding, but to give each other an idea of how best to get along.