I didn’t usually pay much attention to other people’s conversations, but now I found myself unconsciously listening in. It surprised me.
Real relationships weren’t like the ones I’d seen in books and movies. Authors were probably trying to pick out all the most exciting parts for their stories, though I supposed that was only natural since it was meant as entertainment.
Reality was a lot more practical. The things facing a real couple weren’t dramatic obstacles but run-of-the-mill annoyances like tedious government procedures and the chore of announcing your marriage to all your friends and relatives… And, of course, being subjected to the curious eyes of your relatives, who knew all about your past.
Maybe a well-meaning relative would get a little too frank and tell you to hurry up and give your parents a grandchild.
Comments like that were a little lacking in sensitivity, especially nowadays, when more and more people were getting married later and choosing not to have children.
When this happened to Nagisa, she just smiled and let it wash over her.
Ayase muttered, “She’s so mature,” and I turned to look at her face. Unlike Nagisa, she wasn’t very good at letting things wash over her.
Meanwhile, Akiko was chatting with my grandparents, pouring sake for Grandfather. She was smiling, too. Working as a bartender at a fancy bar in the city for years had left her with an impressive skill set.
Whatever she may have been feeling, there wasn’t an ounce of unhappiness on Akiko’s face. Of course, the same had been true of my birth mother. Every year, when we visited Dad’s relatives, she’d put up a fake front.
It must have been tough for Dad to come to these gatherings in the years following his divorce and listen to relatives bombard him with questions about why he and his wife had separated. He’d managed to get through it without criticizing her, insisting that things had just happened that way.
I wondered what it would be like if Ayase and I got married. The thought made me anxious. Would we be able to get along with Dad’s relatives like my parents and Kousuke and Nagisa?
Eventually, night fell, and we ate the traditional bowl of New Year’s Eve soba noodles as everyone continued chatting. Takumi and Mika fell asleep at the table, and Kousuke and I helped take them to their rooms. After that, we returned, and the conversation continued.
Ayase remained as quiet as a mouse the whole time.
Eventually, Grandfather said, “All right. Shall we head out?” He rose, and everyone else followed suit.
Ayase did the same, but she seemed puzzled. “Um… Where are we going?” she whispered.
“We’re going to a shrine. It’s called Ninen-Mairi. We go on New Year’s Eve, then come back after midnight. We’ll take a car, but you might want to wear a jacket since it’s cold out. If you get chilled, you can take another bath when we get home.”
“We’re going now?”
“Well, we have to come back after midnight, or it doesn’t count.”
Ayase’s eyelids were beginning to droop. She looked really tired.
“You can always stay here and sleep. What do you want to do?”
“…I’ll go.”
Ninen-Mairi is a form of New Year’s worship in which people go to a shrine or temple on New Year’s Eve and pray until the new year dawns. By definition, it requires you to be out quite late.
We got our heavy jackets and stepped outside.
It wasn’t snowing, but we were deep in the Nagano mountains, and the temperature was already below zero.
I opened the front door and immediately flinched at the high-pitched whoosh of the wind. I could feel the cold creeping up through the soles of my feet.
We hurried over to Dad’s car and tumbled in. The coldest moments came after we’d closed the door and were waiting for the heater to kick in. My jacket was still sitting on my lap as my relatives split up into three cars and started driving toward a nearby shrine.
According to custom, temples strike a giant hanging bell 108 times on New Year’s Eve night. We heard the first one over the car radio.
A little while later, we arrived at the shrine and parked our car in the lot.
After getting out, I put on my coat and zipped up the front to keep out the cold air. I’d remembered to bring a hat, as well as the neck warmer Ayase gave me. I was fully prepared.
Ayase was also dressed warmly. She was in a fluffy duffle coat, complete with a hat and gloves. The bright mustard-yellow color stood out in the night and looked good on her.
Akiko came up and offered us disposable heating pads. “You should put these in your pockets.”
We gratefully accepted them. Leave it to Akiko to be well prepared.
Someone had shoveled all the snow in the parking lot and piled it up into solid walls around the edges. If they hadn’t, we wouldn’t have been able to pray. I sent a silent thanks to the people who always took care of stuff like that.
“We’re pretty deep in the mountains,” Ayase noted.
“Yep. This is the upper shrine.”
“The upper shrine?”
“They have several shrines here, starting at the foot of the mountain and going up. Have you ever heard of the myth of Ama-no-Iwato? This shrine is related to that story.”
“Sure, I’ve heard of it. It’s about the time when Amaterasu, the sun goddess, hid away in a cave, and the other gods threw a big party to lure her back out.”
“Y-yeah, that’s the one.”
Listening to Ayase’s summary, I got the feeling this was how she memorized literature for her exams. I nodded, then proceeded to explain how my family went to pray at the upper shrine every year. “By the way, it’s a two-kilometer walk.”
“What?!”
“There are a lot of long flights of stairs along the way. Expect to have sore muscles tomorrow.”
“No one told me that.” She stared at me reproachfully with upturned eyes.
“If you want, you can wait in the car where it’s warm.”
“…No, I’ll go. I don’t want to wait out here all alone.”
“Well, give it a try and let me know if it’s too much for you. Next time, you can wait for us.”
I spoke casually, but Ayase looked up with a start.
“Next time?” she asked.
“I mean, we do it every year.”
“Next time. Okay. I’ll try it out and tell you if it’s too tough.”
“Good.”
I guess this is another little compromise, I thought vaguely.
Dad started walking with Akiko, and we followed them.
As we approached a large torii gate at the entrance, Ayase took her phone out of her coat pocket. Then she turned on the camera and took a shot of the gate. The light flashed, and the large wooden torii and the white snow behind it seemed to jump out of the darkness. Of course, she was careful not to disturb the other worshippers.