“Huh? No? You don’t have any experience, either?”
Earnest was addressing Lunaria now. This girl, this genius… She was the “Empress” at her previous school. She’d been surrounded by boys, the horrid witch.
“If you mean asking male students for help carrying my shopping bags, then yes, I do have experience…but that’s not what we’re talking about here, is it?”
“Of course not.”
Iona, Deemo, and Maria didn’t even need to be asked. That just left Claire. Earnest turned her gaze toward her other best friend.
“Um… I’ve been thinking I’d like to try dating, too, yeah.” Claire brought both index fingers in front of her chest, tapping them together as she spoke. “You know, go shopping, eat somewhere, and then, and thennnn…”
“No way,” said Yessica.
“Yeah, she’s right.” Earnest nodded. “No way.”
After the time they’d had a race to see who could help Blade get the most rest and Claire had decided to take him on a girls’ shopping trip followed by a girls’ meal out, she was now branded “Least Likely to Ever Get a Date Again” by all her peers. On the totem pole of dating skills, Claire was kissing the ground.
“Hah… So, like, it’s really true? The only one of us who’s ever been on an actual date is Yessica?”
“Huh? Me?”
“I mean, you have, right? Of course you have.”
“Ummm, yeah…”
Yessica gave Earnest a vague nod. Everybody saw her as the voice of experience, something Yessica herself had never confirmed nor denied.
“Ahhh…” Earnest looked up at the ceiling. “I wonder what it feels like to go on a date.”
She’d meant that question for Yessica, but her target was looking up at a different corner of the ceiling, making little fwoo sounds like she was silently whistling.
“Like, what’s a normal date like?”
Fwoo.
“I really want to know. I do. Doesn’t anyone here know?”
Fwoo.
“Give us some guidance, Yessica!” With a clap of her hands, Earnest set off the chorus.
“Right! Show us how you do it!”
“Huh? How I do it…?!”
“Please! Please! Please!” Earnest kept begging her, clapping with every beat. Everyone else followed suit and bowed to Yessica, as if worshiping some divine idol. “Please, Yessica!”
“Hmm… As the Overlord, I will advise you that I rarely ask other people for advice…and when I do, I expect to be rewarded.”
“I would like to know as well. I am prepared to use my high-spec functionality to learn all the necessary steps, and I hope I will be given the opportunity to do so.”
“Yes, and I, too, would perhaps be interested to see how commoners go about their dates.”
“C’mon, Sophie! You too!”
“I would like…to see an example, yes. I messed up my chance, so…”
Earnest, Claire, Lunaria, Deemo, Iona, and even Sophie were now treating Yessica like a living god…and she had no choice but to nod back.
✦ ✦ ✦
It was morning, and everyone was gathered in the classroom.
“Yessica! Yessica! Look! Blade’s here! He’s over there! I see him!”
“Anna, calm down.”
A girl couldn’t go on a date unless she asked a boy out. The group had walked in here earlier that morning, armed with a promise that their newly anointed teacher would show them what to do, and now they had finally encountered Blade.
“All right. Watch carefully, okay?” said Yessica.
“Yes! Yes, yes!”
Everyone nodded. Yessica, taking the cue, walked over to Blade.
“Hiii, Blaaade… ♡” She waved her fingers around in a morning greeting.
“Oh, morning, Yessica.”
“Hey, wanna go on a date?”
“Oh, you bet.”
“Huh?! Whoa! Wait!” Earnest jumped in. “That… That was so fast! What happened just now?! Why did he give such a quick response?! Why did the whole thing end so suddenly?!”
“What’s up with her?” Blade asked, pointing at Earnest.
“I told you, Earnest, there’s no need to get all worked up,” said Lunaria. “It’s just a date, okay?”
“Ugh! You sound like someone from another world! ‘My, I’ve been on so many dates I can’t even recall the number!’ What was that about?!”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Hello? What’s going on here?” Blade was still pointing at Earnest.
“Oh, she’s been acting a little weird since last night. Don’t worry about it. What you should be looking at, Blade, is your dating partner.” Yessica held Blade’s face between her hands, turning him toward her. “This date, you see, doesn’t end until you’re back home. And it began the moment you said yes to my invitation.”
“Oh, it did?”
“Yes, it did.”
Yessica sat down on Blade’s lap, settling in like it was a perfectly natural spot for her.
“H-his lap! She’s sitting on it! Wow! What advanced techniques!” Earnest spoke aloud despite herself, trembling with excitement as she pointed at them.
Man, Blade thought, she sure is noisy. Just like always.
“So when are we going?” Yessica whispered into his ear. “And when?”
“Whoa! Your face! It’s so close to his! Wow! So close!”
…Shut up, thought Blade.
“Hmm… Well, how about tomorrow?” suggested Blade.
“Okay. Tomorrow.”
“So tomorrow we’ll meet at the tower at noon sharp, and then we’ll commence operation at twelve-oh-five hours—”
Before he could fall into that rut again, Yessica tapped at his lips with her fingertips.
“No. Not like that.”
“Whoa! His lips! You’re touching them! You’re touching his lips!”
Seriously, shut up.
“Huh? No good? But that’s the only way I know how—”
Yessica’s fingers crossed his lips again. “In that case, let your big sis teach you how, hmmm? ♡”
“‘Your big sis’?! You called yourself his big sister?! Wow! ‘Your big sis’! Did you hear that, everyone?”
I mean it. Shut up.
“O-okay…”
Blade could only nod back at Yessica’s smile, much too close to his own lips for comfort.