A few days after the competition, things had largely settled down. Blade was walking across the dining hall, a tray of katsu curry in hand, when he caught sight of Earnest.
Sophie, Yessica, and the others were at their usual table. Everything seemed nice and peaceful.
“What, nothing but soup?” he asked.
Earnest, her entire body bandaged, smiled a little at Blade. “The doctor finally gave me permission to eat regular food again…but this is all I can have today.”
It was a simple cup of pumpkin soup.
“Did she say anything about what percent you can break out or anything like that?” asked Blade, sitting down opposite her.
“What? I’m not you. My output isn’t going to go down.”
“Well, my percentage keeps getting reduced all the time whenever stuff like this happens. Usually by half.”
“That’s because you go and die all the time. I haven’t died yet, so there’s no way. In fact, it’s going up. She told me my basic abilities had increased by about thirty percent.”
“You’re even more of a monster now, huh?”
“Like you’re one to criticize me, super-being.”
They both fell silent, Blade eating his katsu curry and Earnest slurping her pumpkin soup. Everyone was smiling and giggling.
“Hey, you want me to give you a massage?” asked Blade.
“Huh? Wha—? What…? Huh? Like something naughty?”
“What? Just a massage. The same kind you always give me. I know how hard you worked, so I thought I’d give you one instead… If you don’t want it, then fine.”
“I-it’s not that, but…keep it normal, if you could…”
Blade didn’t really know the difference between a “normal” massage and an abnormal one.
“All right. See you later at the thermae.”
“Okay. Later.”
They continued to eat their katsu curry and slurp their soup for a bit.
“By the way…if you’ve been discharged from the infirmary, does that mean she has, too?”
“Hee-hee-hee… She never shut up, you know. They just had to assign her the bed next to mine.”
“Sounds like you enjoyed it.”
“It was a huge pain,” Earnest said with a laugh. Her reply was cold, but Blade knew from her expression how she really felt. That much was easy with the supernatural powers of normalcy an ex-Hero like him possessed.
“So, what’s happening with Lunaria?” he asked.
“She’s getting sent back home. She’s got a lot to answer for. Unauthorized use of the Scion of Ice and property damage to the Second Proving Ground. That and losing the competition, among other things. I bet that genius is gonna wish she was anywhere but home.”
“The damage to the Proving Ground was half on you, wasn’t it? And who said she lost? You fought to a draw, didn’t you?”
“She’s expected to win, so even a draw is basically defeat for her.”
“Oh.”
“After this, I’m sure she’ll be kicked out of the elite class back at her academy. Maybe we won’t run into each other again. It’d be such a rush if that happened. I’d feel so great.”
Nope. Blade definitely couldn’t trust what was coming out of her mouth. He opted to believe the face she was making instead.
“There’s no need to worry, though,” Earnest continued. “The Steinberg family will be taken over by her little sister either way.”
“Oh, she has a sister?”
“Yeah, and they’re nothing alike. None of that stuck-up nonsense, and… Oh?”
Earnest froze, her eyes staring at some faraway point. Blade followed her gaze.
“Hey,” he said, lifting his spoon up to greet Lunaria as she walked toward them.
“My good Blade, would you like to enjoy a meal with me? I am sure you would prove a more entertaining table partner than that rough-and-tumble barbarian girl over there.”
“Sure, go ahead.”
Bap. Bap. Bap.
Earnest kicked Blade in the shin a few times. What was that for? That kinda hurt.
Lunaria sat down next to Blade like she belonged there. Then, just as naturally, she locked arms with him.
“It’s hard to eat like this,” said Blade.
“It is the responsibility of a gentleman to focus on matters besides food in this sort of situation.”
“It is?”
“Oh, of course it’s not,” said Earnest. “Get your arm off him. Weren’t you supposed to be sent back home? Why’re you wandering around the dining hall?”
“Simple. I expended a great deal of money, political power, and certain other assets to hush up the whole affair.”
“Stupid bourgeois nobility,” spat Earnest.
“Oh? Well, excuse me.” Lunaria looked nonplussed. “It must be hard for poor, barbarian nobility like you to only have assault as an option. If you were in my shoes, Earnest, you’d be in some dungeon, I assume.”
Blade marveled at the sight. These two women must have really loved each other.
“Hey, what ‘other assets’ are you talking about, huh?”
“Hee-hee! Methods I’m afraid I can’t speak of aloud. I wouldn’t want you to dislike me, Blade.”
“No?”
Things that can’t be said out loud… Okay. Well, no wonder she doesn’t want to tell me.
“Here, Blade! I have some fruit for you. It’s been my lifelong dream to offer fruit to a fine gentleman and have him say ‘ahhh,’ and so forth. I’m a very devoted woman, you know… But sadly, I have yet to find a gentleman truly worthy of my attentions.”
“Oh, uh, I can eat by myself…”
A fork with a piece of fruit was being pushed toward him. It wasn’t really time for dessert yet, either. Blade still had two plates of katsu curry he wanted to finish off.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Lunaria! Aren’t you being a little too chummy with him?! And why are you sitting next to Blade and acting like it’s totally normal?”
“Enough from you, Earnest. Shouldn’t you be off by yourself doing your morning jungle run like the ape you are?”
“What did you say?! Huh? You sure you’re not gonna regret saying that?!”
That’s all Earnest could come up with? Wow. She’s never gonna win an argument with Lunaria like that.
“Sophie! Say something for me! Say something!”
“If Blade is happy and/or aroused, then all is well.”
“I don’t want him aroused! That’s going too far…! All right, Yessica, then! Help!”
“You sure are happy right now, huh, Anna?”
“Um…if you like, I could call you ‘Anna’ as well…” Lunaria blushed.
“No! Absolutely not! I will not stand for it!”
“And in exchange, you could call me René, perhaps?”
“No! I’m not gonna stand for all this haughty nonsense!”
“Hi, um, my name is Claire. Nice to meet you.”
“And the same to you, Claire.”
“Hey! Don’t treat her like a new friend!”
“I do not particularly mind if Blade has two official wives instead of one, you know.”
“Ovie! Stop it!”
“The relationship I have with my master is permanent and unchanging. If I were to use metaphor, it is c, the speed of light—eternal and unwavering. Even if he gained one or two more mistresses, sidepieces, or actual wives, I would not bat an eye, much less voice any complaint. I only have eyes for my master, you see.”
“What kind of passionate declaration of love is that?!”
“Anyone strong is more than welcome in my book!” Cú chimed in. “We can be friends and everything! I bet that ‘Scion III’ thing is even stronger than I am!”
“Hee-hee! Feel free to call me your big sister, if you like.”
“Okay, big sis!”
“Oh no, Cú’s already taken a liking to her!”
Exasperated with this welcoming atmosphere, Earnest turned toward Lunaria.
“Look, what do you want? I know you’re covering everything up, but does that give you the right to come in here and eat breakfast with us?”
“Ah, yes, I have an announcement. As of today, I, Lunaria Steinberg, am a student of Rosewood Academy.”
“Eeep?!” Earnest’s eyes bulged.
“I have already received permission from His Majesty, Chancellor Gilgamesh. He was quite pleased with the interschool match the other day. ‘Just as I thought,’ he told me, ‘the naked body of a young girl is such a delight.’ I do hope such a freakish king will soon perish.”
“Yeah, that makes two of us.”
Earnest could agree there, at least. Everyone nodded.
“…So, I’ve been brought on as a special exchange student, and I do hope I can find my niche at this school among all of you.”
Lunaria curtsied, looking very refined and noble. Most of the others bowed in response.
Blade was admiring what seemed to him like a very feminine gesture when suddenly, Lunaria drew her soft body close to him once more. Her arms were now wrapped tightly around him, her supple breasts pressing against his side.
“I have a special request for you, Blade…”
“Blade! Say no!” Earnest shouted.
“What is it?”
He didn’t mind, as long as it was doable.
“I, Lunaria, wish for you to become my companion!”
“Wha…?! Wha…?! Whaaa…?!”
Earnest shot to her feet, kicking her chair away. She had a trembling finger pointed at Lunaria, but for some reason, no words came out.
“Wow,” exclaimed Yessica, “that was direct!”
Direct to what? Blade wondered.
“Wha—?!” Earnest was still struggling. “What’re you talking about? What are you saying?!”
“As I stated earlier, Blade is going to have another legitimate wife now.”
“Indeed, the wavelengths of Lunaria’s body correlate with those of a woman radiating romantic feelings.”
Ovie and Iona were being awfully frank about this.
What do “legitimate wife” and “romantic” even mean? Nobody had ever explained those terms to Blade before.
“Hey, uh, hey…,” he began, deciding to ask the others.
“Look! Listen to me…! Listen! Don’t play with our super-being! Blade’s not ready for that stuff! Not for, like, at least another ten years! He’s got the brain of a five-year-old!”
Earnest was being awfully rude.
“What I mean to say, Blade, is that I wish to marry you,” said Lunaria. “This is a proposal of marriage.”
“No one asked! Don’t you ever give up? What’s with you? This is why I hate geniuses!”
Boy, Earnest was really loud this morning.
“Um…what’s marriage?” asked Blade.
Earnest slumped over onto the ground, a broken heap. “We…we have to start there?”
“What? Nobody ever tells me these things. Like when Madam was going to get married a little while ago, nobody explained it to me then, either. So, what’s marriage?”
“Hee-hee-hee! Well, Blade…if you marry me, I’ll spend the rest of my life teaching you,” said Lunaria.
“Oh, cool, thanks! Let’s get married, then!”
“Lovely!”
“No! No, no! Nooo! Never! Never, never, no!”
Earnest’s cries echoed throughout the dining hall.