No one protested.
“Now then, the new tradition we will be introducing is very simple. Whenever there’s a grandee in the squadron, that grandee will treat everyone when given the opportunity. We’ll have them carry out their noble duties. And may this beautiful tradition stand firm for all time.”
Shouts of joy and cheering erupted. At present, there was only one grandee in Trample-Blitz Squadron 1, and that was the Count of Hyde. If she’d said “nobles” instead of “grandees,” more people would have qualified. For example, Atosryua herself was the Baroness of Febdash. But she was a lady, not a grandee. Grandees were nobles who headed star systems with inhabited planets.
Incidentally, Jint had not been consulted in the creation of this new tradition. In fact, Atosryua had not consulted a single other soul. Talk about unreasonable, he thought. The money wasn’t the issue. The revenue he earned from the Hyde Countdom was enormous. Most of it was reinvested back into Hyde, but Jint’s share was still too vast for him to ever spend it all. He could hold a banquet of this scale every week if he so desired.
But money wasn’t all that was being asked of him. If he was going to pay for it, why did he need to be the one behind the arrangements, too? He was a clerk, and clerks (along with inspector supervisors) were busier when not voyaging. In fact, reserving the garden deck and holding a banquet was Jint’s idea. In truth, garden decks were unpopular among people from landworlds. Landworlds were very diverse, after all, and the simulated environment inside a supply ship didn’t do much to remind Landers of their homes. Only a planet of considerable surface area could hope to do that. Moreover, some Landers insisted with fists shaken in anger that artificial environments were a sacrilege against nature. As far as Jint was concerned, however, it scarcely mattered whether the scenery was a pale imitation. It was just nice to see Abhs and Landers conversing amidst the hallmarks of nature every once in a while.
After that thought occurred to him, making the arrangements for the feast wasn’t that onerous. But the aspect of unreasonableness remained.
“Now to introduce tonight’s organizer,” said Atosryua. “Everybody, give him a big round of applause!”
Reluctantly, Jint stepped atop the mound as the applause continued. He had to give some remarks, too. And as much as he didn’t want to, he also had to pretend he’d been more than happy to put on the party. Guess that’s just another duty of nobility, he rationalized.
“I’ll keep this short, so please, bear with me,” he started, in order to win their sympathy. “I’ve put together this banquet as a token of appreciation for everything you do. Your being here is the fruit of your hard work, and your good fortune! I just ask that you take pride in that. Forgive me if I’m bragging, but happily, the Countdom of Hyde is doing well economically. As such, I’d like to have the honor of recognizing your services again sometime soon.” More cheers and applause. Jint raised his cup. “In addition, I’d like to welcome you and the new soldiers. I couldn’t secure any in time for today’s feast, but I want to bring special Hyde spirits for everyone to try next time. Only, I’ll be ceding the privilege of giving remarks to someone else. Now let’s have a toast!”
“Thank you, Lonh-Dreur!” replied the soldiers in unison.
The clinking of cups sounded all throughout the venue.
“Now to introduce today’s master of ceremonies. Come, Linewing Gnomboch.
“Yes.” Judging by the look on Gnomboch’s face as he approached, he was steeled for this.
“A round of applause,” urged Jint.
The soldiers dutifully clapped.
Jint felt self-conscious, but also a little depressed. He had a feeling he was getting a glimpse into the charms of being a commanding officer. But Jint was a quartermaster starpilot, an administrative official of the military. He would never hold a command position. And he couldn’t transfer to the Flight Branch if he wanted to — not without a froch on his forehead. Jint ceded the mound to Gnomboch, only to find Lafier shooting him a critical look.
“Did I say something off?” he asked, apprehensively.
“No. But I must say, you are a terrible person.”
“Why?” Jint could only cock his head at this unexpected line of attack.
“Foisting command on a kid like that?”
“Being master of ceremonies isn’t ‘command,’ and he’s not a kid, either. Given that he’s a starpilot, he’s of higher rank than the majority of the people here. Besides...”
“What?”
“You’ve aged, Lafier. You know, now that you’re treating people like ‘kids.’”
“You blockhead.”
In reality, Gnomboch and Lafier were only five years apart in age. The Empire was not so hard pressed as to be dragging actual children to the battlefield.
“Your speech was humdrum, too. It was like you were playing salesman.”
“That’s just another grandee obligation. Or at least, that’s what Mr. Samson told me.”
“Ah. Being a grandee must be difficult.”
“Why’re you making it seem like it has nothing to do with you? You’ll be one too, one day.”
“If I do become a grandee, it will only be far down the line.”
“Guess that’s true.”
Lafier’s star-fief, the Viscountdom of Parhynh, had no inhabited planets. In order to become a grandee, she would have to terraform a planet so that it could support a population, and that process took quite some time. Plus, she’d only have the wherewithal to terraform once she was retired — once she’d seen through her obligations as an Imperial. If she ever acceded to the Jade Throne, then that period of freedom would be delayed even longer. And that was assuming the war would be over by then. It was a project of the far, far future.
Atop the bulge of land, Gnomboch seemed flustered. “Um, we will be carrying in the food. All hands, please be careful.” Some food tables approached crossing the water’s surface, while others descended from the ceiling. “Please make way. That NCC over there, move to the side. And that NCC over there, please refrain from reaching for the food until all the tables have stopped moving. In addi— Augh! What are you doing, Deca-Commander Ecryua!?”
From where he was standing, Jint couldn’t tell what Ecryua was trying to do. The soldiers, for their part, were busy criticizing the food.
“Okay, understood,” said Gnomboch. “How about we do it like this: Don’t move from your current position, if you please. Remain where you are until I give the signal.”
“You’ve botched the arrangements, I think,” said Lafier, staring as the tables came gracefully down. “I don’t think this staging was necessary.”
“It’s my first time,” said Jint. “I’ll do it right next time. I thought it was a pretty good idea at the time, though.”
“Next time, you’d do well to give your remarks more thought as well.”
“I see...” said Jint dejectedly. “How would you do the speech?”
“Hmm.” Lafier tilted her head in thought. “I don’t know. I would have to be put in that position to tell you. Also, I’m not saying I think I could give more entertaining remarks than you.”
“Gotcha. Why don’t we put you to the test during the next banquet? I’ll be the guy pulling the strings in the back.”
“No thank you,” she replied instantly.