I couldn’t breathe; my mind went blank. The way she carried herself had changed a lot, but her face was still the same. This was our first meeting in one or two years, but for some reason it felt like it had been ten or twenty years since we’d last seen each other.
“Ryu...” I spoke her name with a shaky voice. I had once again uttered that old nickname, like it was a perfectly normal thing for me to do.
Standing before me was Ryuzaki Natsume—Ryu, the girl I’d loved a long time ago.
I finally understood the reason Momo had said what he had earlier.
“Ura... Do you have any plans to walk around today?” he’d asked me. It was a little after lunchtime, and Orihara and Momo had come to our class to hang out. Momo asked me that question as he was leaving.
Incidentally, I was unable to ask Orihara why she was dressed in a school uniform because of how confident she seemed, and I wondered how that twenty-seven-year-old woman could parade around a place like this in a school uniform without feeling embarrassed.
“Huh? Why?” I responded.
“Just tell me.”
“There’s no way I could. The class can’t run without me being here, and I don’t really have anywhere I want to go. Plus, I don’t have anyone to walk around with.”
“Really? Well, that’s good then.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“No, it’s nothing.”
That’s what he’d said to me, and now I finally understood the reason why he didn’t want me to leave my classroom.
“So, this is the high school that you, Momo, and Kana go to...” Ryu looked this way and that as she walked down the hallway, and I followed slightly behind her.
To be honest, I was a little hesitant to do this. This reunion was too sudden, and I was afraid because I didn’t know what to say to her, and I didn’t know the kinds of things she’d say to me. I thought about using my work in the classroom as an excuse to part ways with Ryu, but Ibusuki had looked right at me and said, “She’s come all this way, so why don’t the two of you walk around the festival? Go on, Urano. She’s your friend, right?” Ibusuki probably figured it out when I called her Ryu by reflex. After all, I did tell her about Ryu that time we went camping.
Jeez, she really didn’t have to do this...
“Hey.” Ryu stopped walking, turned around, and spoke to me with the same friendly smile and tone of voice that she’d used when we were friends. “Your hair’s really grown out, Ura. Don’t you think it’s a little too long?”
“...It’s fine.”
“What are you going for? Like, what kind of hairstyle are you trying to get from growing it out that long?”
“Shut up. I’m just growing it out because it’s too annoying to cut.”
“Hmm. I’m jealous of your hair’s texture. It’s so nice and smooth.”
“D-Don’t touch it... Well, what about your hair? It used to be so long, but you cut it all off.”
“Oh, I cut it off when I got into high school. I kind of wanted a fresh start. How’s it look? Do I look good with short hair?”
“How should I know?”
“Ha ha ha. You’re as cold as ever, Ura.”
It was unnatural how natural our conversation was. We were talking as if we were friends who had been hanging out until yesterday.
As we chatted, we walked through the crowd to a less packed area near the entrance. “...Did Momo put you up to this?”
“Ha ha ha. Saying he put me up to this has such a bad ring to it. But...yes, that’s right. Momo asked me to come. I was really surprised to hear from him after such a long time.” Ryu was laughing, but there was a slightly gloomy look in her eyes. “Honestly...I didn’t want to come. I mean, I didn’t know how to face the three of you.”
“...”
“But...he asked me to help.”
“Asked you to help?”
“Yes. He said you were a little depressed and moping around because you had a lot going on...so he really wanted me to come and cheer you up face to face because he couldn’t do it...”
“That bastard... He didn’t need to do that.”
“Ha ha ha. I couldn’t not come when he asked me like that. If he’d said something like ‘Let’s all make up’ or ‘Let’s all be friends like we used to be,’ I’d have been a little apprehensive, but...he sincerely asked me for help.”
“...”
“All that said, I’m glad I came. I’ve been worried this whole time... I mean, I caused so much trouble for you three, and I couldn’t face you in particular, Ura.”
“...”
“But just now, when I saw your class’s maid cafe, I was kind of impressed. You’re the one running it, right? That’s amazing. It’s so authentic.”
“...Not really. I’m not doing anything special.”
“I almost cried when I saw how you’re enjoying your high school life.”
“...What about you?”
“Me? Well, I’m having a good time too. I go to an all-girls school, so I haven’t met anyone at all. Right now I’m looking for a boyfriend.”
“I didn’t ask for all that, idiot.”
“You don’t have to call me an idiot! You’re still a jerk.” Before I knew it, I was laughing along with Ryu.
Huh? What is this feeling? It felt like the cold, heavy lump of ice that remained in my heart was slowly melting away. I had always been afraid of seeing Ryu again. I didn’t know how to face her, and I was sure she never wanted to see me again. However, when I finally met her, I couldn’t believe how it wasn’t a big deal at all. It was like, “Really? This is it? Just what have I been so afraid of and so worried about this whole time?”
“Hey, Ura.” The smile that Ryu had had this whole time left her face, and it turned into a painfully stern expression that was tinged with sadness. “I practically ran away when I distanced myself from the three of you, and I never gave you a proper apology, Ura. That’s why today I—”
“It’s okay,” I said, cutting her off. “You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But...”
“Also, I didn’t do anything wrong either, and I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault. We were all just doing our best, but somehow we misunderstood each other and ended up clashing in a weird way.” Yeah, that’s all it was. Now I’m finally able to see it that way and understand how that’s all it was.
“...Oh, yeah. Get this, Ryu.” I couldn’t believe I was saying this myself. “I found a girl I like.” Ryu’s eyes widened a little, and she looked dumbfounded.
“O-Oh, really?”
“Yeah. Really.”
“Was it...that girl who called you over for me?”
“H-How did you know?”
“Oh, so it really was her. I kind of knew from the vibe I was getting.”
...This is humiliating. Why am I this easy to read?
“I see, so that’s the girl you like now.”
“...Yeah, she is.” I exhaled deeply. “I can’t help laughing at myself. I was so depressed from that ugly heartbreak, yet, in spite of that, I immediately fell in love with a girl who I had kind of become friends with.”
“...”
“That’s why...I’m sorry. I’ve already found a new girl I like, and I’m enjoying my student life and youth to the fullest. I haven’t even thought about you ever since I got into high school, all the way up until I met you just now.”
“Hmm, I see,” Ryu said, and gave me a playful smile.
“Wh-What is it?”
“No, it’s nothing. I was just thinking about how you’re still a terrible liar.”
“I-I’m not lying!”
“Ha ha ha.”
She opened her mouth wide and laughed happily. I liked the way she smiled; I had once fallen in love with her and the way she laughed like this. That was a long time ago, and I had been keeping those feelings of love sealed away deep in my heart. For me, those feelings were always a source of shame and misery. My love for her was a trauma that I didn’t want to remember... But now I was feeling like those painful memories had at last changed into beautiful ones.
❤