I don’t know what my dad said, but he probably explained it simply, like “It’s the room right next to the stairs.” Between my room and my father’s, mine is closest to the stairs so Kisaki-san probably got the two mixed up.
Yep. In other words, Kisaki-san was actually planning to quietly go to my dad’s room when everyone had fallen asleep. I don’t have to even think about—I don’t even want to think about—what her goal was, since it could only be one thing.
“Were you going to my dad’s room to have sex?”
“Y-You’re wrong! That’s not it! Um... I mean, I was lonely!”
It seems like I wasn’t wrong at all.
“I’ve been seeing Shigeru-san less lately, and since I found out I’m pregnant, he’s been concerned about my body and stopped doing that kind of thing with me...”
“I mean, husbands and wives do that kind of thing, so I’m totally fine with you wanting to, but...couldn’t you have at least held out for today?” I was so sleepy and tired that I couldn’t help but complain.
I mean, what is this situation? Why did she choose to try and jump my dad’s bones now? Also, why did she fail? If you’re going to do it, get it done without my sister or me finding out, please.
I probably shouldn’t say this, but messing up spectacularly right at the critical moment is just like Orihara-san. I wonder if it’s in their genes or something...
“B-But if I miss today, then I don’t know when I’ll be able to see him again! Also, even if I could see him again soon, it doesn’t seem like it’d set the right kind of mood to travel somewhere just for that sort of thing...”
“Oh... I see...”
“Wh-Why do you look so disgusted?! Why are you looking at me like I’m some kind of vulgar creature?! I-I’m going to be your stepmom, you know?! Is that the kind of look you give your stepmom?!”
“...I feel like a stepmom wouldn’t crawl underneath the covers of her son’s bed.”
“I said it was a mistake! You’re making fun of me... You think I’m a slutty milf too, don’t you, Momota-kun?”
“...”
“Why are you silently looking away? Can’t you follow that up with a lie at least?! Sob...” Kisaki-san finally started crying on my bed. “I hate this. Why did things have to turn out this way? I was just trying to be a good wife... I was trying to be a good stepmom!” Tears were streaming down her face. A part of me felt sorry for her, but honestly, I was the one who wanted to cry.
The time was already around two in the morning. It would be troublesome if we made any more noise and woke up my sister and dad, so, for the time being, I took the crying Kisaki-san down to the kitchen on the first floor. I didn’t want to drink any coffee or tea since it was late at night, and more importantly, I’d heard that caffeine isn’t good for a pregnant woman. So her choice of drink ended up being warm milk.
“Here you go.”
“Sniff... Thank you...” I offered Kisaki-san the milk I had warmed up in the microwave, and she accepted it as she sniffled. She blew her nose with a tissue, and it looked like she had calmed down a little bit. “Sniff... I’m sorry, Momota-kun, I’ve made such a disgrace of myself.”
I could only quietly reply, “It’s fine.” In truth, I wanted to shout, “You sure did!”
“Ahh, why did things turn out like this? When I heard that Shigeru-san has a teenage son, I thought I’d do my best to become a good mother so that he’d call me ‘mom.’ Who would have thought that his son was someone I already knew?”
“...”
“I wanted to be a prim and proper mother in front of his kids, but I can’t do that anymore. You’ve already figured out how I really am, Momota-kun. You also know that I was the one who invited him to a hotel to have a kid. How am I supposed to be a mother if I’m like this?!”
“...I’m sorry.” All I could do was apologize. It wasn’t like it was anyone’s fault, but I felt sorry that I was the son in question.
This whole incident must have been really unexpected for Kisaki-san as well. It was a horrible accident that threw all her plans and preparations out of whack. I’ve been feeling pretty awkward myself, and I’m sure that she’s feeling the same way. Her new son is the same person who she asked for love advice concerning lots of graphic stuff like going to hotels and physical relationships. “Awkward” is hardly the word for this.
“H-Hey, Momota-kun? There’s just one thing I don’t want you to get wrong about me... I did not try to crawl into your father’s bed because I was sexually frustrated, okay?” Kisaki-san said shyly, but in a strong tone. “W-Well, I was a little bit, but the main reason was because I didn’t want Shigeru-san to cheat on me.”
“Cheat on you?”
“I-It’s not like I don’t believe Shigeru-san! It’s not that... But I can’t help feeling uneasy,” Kisaki-san’s voice became faint. “...I heard on TV and from people around me that there are a lot of men who cheat on their wives when they’re pregnant. They said that because men can’t do that type of stuff until the woman is in her stable period, a lot of them find other partners to do it with. Also, I heard that regardless of the stable period, a lot of guys stop being physically attracted to their wives when their stomachs get bigger.”
“...”
“We haven’t even known each other for half a year...so we’ve only been physically intimate a few times. Despite that, I got pregnant...and now I can’t do it with him anymore. Shigeru-san is kind and considerate of my body’s health and doesn’t come asking for that kind of thing... But that also makes me feel really anxious...”
“...” A small part of me was getting fed up that she was starting another graphic conversation, but it seemed like she was more serious about things than I’d thought she was. It seemed like she had serious and earnest concerns. Kisaki-san seemed to have considerable trauma from her partner’s affair; she wasn’t joking around about any of this. The woman in front of me was genuinely concerned and truly anxious about this.
“So that’s why I thought I should squeeze him completely dry, so that he’d lose any desire to go after another woman.”
“...” Sh-She’s not joking around...probably. What she’s saying makes sense...probably...
“As his son, all I can say is, ‘please have faith in my dad.’”
“...I understand that. Shigeru-san is... He isn’t like my ex-husband. He’s not like that, and I want to believe in him. I know that, but...” In the wake of the tears that had spilled from her anxious eyes, a painful self-deprecating smile played on her lips. “I’m hopeless. I can’t help but think about things negatively. I’ve failed once, so it just makes me think harder about not wanting to mess up again.”
“Failed?”
“Yes, I failed. I told you before, right? In my first marriage, I chose the wrong person and got married to someone who wasn’t my soul mate. So it was a huge failure...”
“Are you sure about that?” I said. My words must have caught her off guard because Kisaki-san’s eyes went wide.
“Huh?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to say that your divorce was a mistake or defend your ex-husband... It’s just that...”
“It’s just what?”
“It’s just, there’s something that’s kind of been bothering me since I first heard your story at Orihara-san’s apartment. Back then, and even now, you’ve been saying you ‘chose the wrong person,’ right? The way you say you chose the wrong person and that they weren’t your soul mate... It’s almost like your first marriage was a failure and a mistake.”
In my mind, I was remembering what she’d said the other day, when she had dismissed Orihara-san’s and my love and our feeling that we could overcome anything together as just us being blinded by love. “It happens all the time in real life: people will think they’ve found their soul mate when they actually haven’t. It’s unbelievable how much love can blind you, and I was the same way... I chose the wrong person. I thought the wrong person was my soul mate.”
“...Honestly, I can’t even imagine how much getting a divorce because of your husband’s affair hurt you, Kisaki-san. It wouldn’t be strange for you to be against marriage as a whole. But it just seems sad to write your whole experience off as a failure or say you chose the wrong person.”
“Sad...?”
“Yes, sad. Because...you end up denying all the moments that you felt like you were in love with that person.”
“That’s...” Kisaki-san was at a loss for words.
Kisaki-san probably doesn’t have any lingering affection for her ex-husband. Those feelings are long gone, and she’s already looking toward the future. She’ll be serious about loving my dad—probably. Still, despite what she may be thinking right now, it’s the undeniable truth that she loved her ex-husband in the past.
“Wh-What are you trying to say, Momota-kun? Are you trying to say that it was a mistake that I divorced my ex-husband?” Kisaki-san frowned and sounded a little upset.
“No, that’s not what I mean at all.” I shook my head in a panic. “I’m not trying to preach to you. It’s just, lately I’ve been thinking a lot about if there really is such a thing as a soul mate...”
“A soul mate...”
“At the end of the day, I think it’s a matter of how you define the word ‘soul mate,’ but...I don’t think that the kind of soul mate that everyone thinks about, the one where if you marry them your happiness is a sure thing, actually exists.”
“...”
“My dad told me something a long time ago.”
“Shigeru-san did?”
“He told me what you choose in life is actually less important than you think,” I said, recalling what my father told me during my third year in middle school.