Otherwise, they would be unable to build self-esteem and learn to forgive others, too.
Why?
Why wasn’t Nadeshiko forgiven?
It didn’t make sense. The only answer was that some children were simply unloved.
“Our country’s Autumn is so adorable… I’ll give my all to protect her.”
While Rindo wrestled with his own complicated feelings, Tsukihi whispered her confession with enraptured conviction.
Rindo could not stay behind.
I’ll protect Nadeshiko, too.
“Nadeshiko.” He called out to her. “Everything will be okay. No matter what they say today, I’ll protect you.”
He wanted to reassure her. He existed for her sake.
“…”
Nadeshiko nodded, then took a moment to think before speaking again.
“Rindo.”
“Yes?”
“Um, you see… I… If I have to, I…”
“Yes…?”
“I think I could marry Lord Liam…”
“…What?”
That bombshell made everyone stop in their tracks.
“I said I can…marry Lord Liam.”
Time stopped. Everyone froze as if they were held in place by magic.
Once the spell finally lifted, the gods began shouting.
“Wh-what’re you saying, Nadeshiko?!”
“You hated the idea so much yesterday. Seriously, what’s the deal?”
Ruri and Rosei spoke at the same time.
“…Nadeshiko?” Rindo could only stare at her with a half smile on his face. “You’re joking, right?”
His lips trembled. He felt like a hand was squeezing his heart.
Yet Nadeshiko wouldn’t admit to it. “…I’m serious. I thought that would be best.”
“Seriously?!”
“Yes.”
“T-to that kid?”
“I’m a kid, too.”
“No, I mean… You don’t want to get married, do you? Lord Kantsubaki is right—you were against the idea… What changed your mind? Nadeshiko, why…?”
“…”
She didn’t respond, and Rindo’s grip on his own composure was slipping more and more. Shirahagi floundered in confusion.
Meanwhile, Sanekazura observed Nadeshiko quietly. “Lady Nadeshiko, you said, If I have to… Should I take it that you mean, If the Goddess of Autumn of Yamato should do it?”
Nadeshiko looked at her and replied, “Yes.”
“You’re being considerate because of all the talks the adults were having yesterday. You think that it would be better if you went through with the marriage, right?”
Nadeshiko remained quiet for a moment before nodding awkwardly.
“…Yes.”
“Thinking back on it, we made all the decisions without asking you how you felt… Would you mind telling us how you decided this?”
Sanekazura asked so kindly that Nadeshiko was able to explain without fumbling.
First, they wouldn’t have needed to talk to the Church if she hadn’t reacted so badly to the proposal in the moment.
Then, because of that, Rindo got mad. And Liam was hurt, too.
If she had accepted, the relationship between the two countries would have entered into a state of peace, but she’d selfishly messed it up.
So, if they were going to argue about it again today, it would be better if she accepted the engagement.
That way, everyone would get to go back to Yamato soon, too…
She recounted her thought process bit by bit.
The Church’s guide nodded, impressed, but all of her companions felt exhausted.
“…Nadeshiko, don’t think like that!” said Ruri. “All this is just a lot of stuff you don’t understand, so you’re still shocked by it. You’re just giving in because they said you’d be taken to the Church! Remember what I told you? I’d throw a fit if they did that to me! We’re not going back to Yamato until this whole issue is gone!”
“You scared me for a sec,” Rosei added. “I thought you’d fallen in love with Liam or something… Your feelings matter, so act like it. How many times do I gotta tell you someone your age doesn’t have to worry about others so much?”
While the other gods spoke their piece as someone in the same position, Rindo’s heart would not stop racing.
I failed again.
After all the reflection he did yesterday, he’d already failed again.
He thought it would be all right, since Nadeshiko was so quiet, so he’d kept his distance. But he had failed to explain things properly to her; she was just a child. His nap was no excuse.
“Nadeshiko, I’m sorry…”
“Why are you apologizing, Rindo?”
“I didn’t clarify…and made you anxious. I, well… I thought you could tell I had no intention whatsoever to hand you over…”
“You did nothing wrong. I just thought I had to grow up.”
Rindo’s half smile warped further.
“You’re…eight.”
“But I’m the Goddess of Autumn.”
“And more importantly, you’re an eight-year-old girl.”
“But I’m also Yamato’s Autumn. And you’re with me because I’m the Agent of Autumn, right?”
“I…”
That was true, but…
“I shouldn’t embarrass the name of Autumn. That’s what I thought.”
“You’ve never been embarrassing. Not once.”
“…That’s not true.”
Are we even really holding a conversation here?
Nadeshiko looked Rindo in the eye, but she wasn’t trying to listen to him.
Up until then, Nadeshiko had always valued Rindo’s opinion. Whenever he explained something, she would nod in agreement.
But now…?
“That’s why… If it’s really necessary, I’ll marry Lord Liam. It’s okay, Rindo.”
She was insisting on her own point of view, like Kikka did.
And it felt like she was using Rindo as a reason now.
He smiled, fearful and paralyzed, while Nadeshiko continued walking. Sanekazura and Shirahagi followed behind her, while Rindo was left behind in a daze.
“Azami, snap out of it. Go on.” Itecho immediately put a hand on his shoulder. “Even if you don’t understand her, you can’t give up.”
Itecho had more experience bringing up a difficult child, given his experiences with Rosei, and he was telling Rindo to keep up.
Rindo staggered for a moment before running up behind his young charge and walking next to her.
“Nadeshiko, Nadeshiko.”
Rindo tried to pick her up or hold her hand to try to reach her heart, but she gently refused each and every overture.
“It’s okay, Rindo. I want to grow up.”
Rindo was not okay, yet the Goddess of Autumn staunchly refused her retainer’s love.
Even as Rindo despaired, time marched on.
After the tour of the premises, there was a chat with the Church members.
Kikka’s subordinate had already arrived as an interpreter. Kikka himself was absent today.
At least he’s not here.
If Kikka started asking why his son was so down…
He’d point at me and laugh.
Kikka Azami was a good father, but he loved teasing his son.
Calm down. We’ll bounce back soon.
They were shown to a luxurious drawing room furnished with an afternoon tea set and fancy snacks. It was just past noon, a perfect time for tea.
Then a gallant-seeming man entered the room.
“My name is Evan Bell, and I am the deputy branch chief of the Church of the Living Gods in Kashu. First of all, I want to extend an apology that our wishes were conveyed improperly.”
The Kyokoku man looked to be in his sixties. The head of Kashu’s Church of the Living Gods branch had been hospitalized for a long time, so this man was taking his place. He had a gentle expression and a round belly.
All members of the Church wore the same robe, except for him; his robe was much more lavish. It was meant to represent the difference in rank, but after Tsukihi’s explanation, it only looked like a display of wealth.
Evan did not seem to know any Yamatoan as he greeted them in Centrish, so the interpreter translated for them.
“We did not mean to disrespect the gods. If this incident has created distrust in Kyokoku in the Guards and escorts, we are deeply regretful.”
Evan’s apology was almost melodramatic.
An eloquent bastard, I see, Rindo thought.
Listening carefully, he noticed that Evan had cleverly avoided admitting guilt. His words sounded like a sincere apology on the surface, but everything he said felt empty.
Improperly conveyed.
We regret that you took it in such a way.
He was trying to put the blame elsewhere, and Rosei did not hesitate to speak.
“Your wishes… So you admit that you instructed Kashu’s Agent of Autumn to propose the engagement? And that it was simply conveyed in a way you didn’t intend?”
He spoke in Yamatoan, showing that he considered even speaking Centrish to this man a waste of effort.
“Instructed? Please, we are in no such position to do that.”
“So you insist he did it on his own?”
“I believe Lord Liam must have made the proposal out of concern for our wishes.”
“Okay. So why would he be concerned about the wishes of someone beneath him?”
Despite the warm spring sun, his question chilled the room.