“Did you get hit?” Tokino asks.
“No, not at all.” I reply.
“How many did you bring down?”
“Two.”
Tokino is not saying anything about what he dealt with. I think he had to face the tougher situation. Probably, the most skilled among the three enemies attacked him alone.
I like the one who does not speak of too many unnecessary things. He might be a good guy. That is how I evaluate my comrade.
When I land on the base with more than 30 percent of fuel left in the tank, it is 15:44.
-4-
Kusanagi is saying nothing in particular. She is looking like a mailperson throwing letters into mailboxes. She is showing an indifferent look as if in saying it is just another daily routine whether things are working out well or not. Probably, she is right. This airbase is closer to the front line than where I was stationed previously. It is far better than being sarcastically praised by having my shoulder being tapped with cheesy grins.
Sitting side by side in front of Kusanagi’s desk, Tokino and I are reporting the situation.
“Umm, are we planning to bomb the dam?” Tokino asks. Asking such a question is basically prohibited.
“No.” Kusanagi shakes her head. Obviously, she is saying no more.
For some reason, she says nothing to me all the way to the end of the reporting session. She could have said something diplomatically, such as, “How do you like your new aircraft?”, or “Is there anything you need?” But, nothing at all. Although I am a little disappointed, I feel better this way, come to think about it. I am now feeling that I have wasted time and energy by getting prepared mentally for her words.
After taking a shower, I go down to the cafeteria room and find Tokino drinking beer. He has not changed his clothes yet. I know someone has just taken off from the base since I just heard the engine sound earlier. I have heard in earlier conversations that there are four pilots, so probably the other two are currently flying on a mission. It is getting dark outside. Even though my heart gets heavy when thinking about night shifts, the participants get proportionally more handsome bonuses accordingly, and the chance of their encountering enemies in the dark is low. There are quite a few of those who think that it is such a good deal.
Usually, I do not drink a lot. If anything, I am not a heavy drinker. However, on the first day of the deployment to the new base, we have just shot down three enemies, the two of which were brought down by my aircraft. In addition, my comrade is waiting for me while having already started on drinking ... Under such a circumstance, if I do not drink, then I would not be able to blame others for accusing me of being as sociable as a load of packages tied to the top part of a sled of an arctic expedition team. Of course, I do not dislike the taste of alcohol. I like to get drunk. Besides, it is necessary for me to forget various issues. So, I know that the act of creating time during which I do not recall anything by drinking alcohol is meaningful to a certain extent. It is like bubbles in an aquarium containing tropical fish. They just bubble up and vanish. I think it is a smart way for someone to live comfortably. But it is obvious that the very act of living itself is not so pleasant. No matter how many bubbles go up and pop, it is also obvious that it won’t make much difference. With no exception, drinkers know that.
I take a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator, and approach Tokino’s table with a glass in my hand.
“Would you mind if I take a seat and drink close to you?” I ask politely.
“You are already close enough.” Tokino curves his lips.
“Within firing range?”
“The fridge is not working too well, is it?”
There are three empty beer bottles on the table, but his facial expression is not showing any sign of getting drunk.
I pour beer into a glass, and down half my glass in one gulp.
“Well, it is chilly enough.” I pour the rest of what remains in the bottle into Tokino’s glass.
“Oh ... You are a reliable tandem partner. That was a big help.” Tokino says so calmly. “How did you manage to shoot down two enemy planes? If I were you, I would have run away.”
“Compliments?”
“Hey ...” He winks.
“You made a quick work on your opponent, too.”
“It’s a fluke. My opponent was an amateur.”
“Modesty?”
“I guess ...” Tokino nods. “Modesty. That is the first time I hear that word in a long while.”
“Same for me. Both of them were novices.” I gulp down beer, and sigh. “If they were professionals, I would be swimming by now.”
“Can you swim?”
“No, I have never swum in my life.” I laugh. “I hate water. I don’t like it frozen, either.”
“Do you dislike refrigerators as well?”
“Umm.” I look back at the refrigerator. “She’s not bad.”
“She is fair-skinned and glam.”
“Shall I bring more beer?”
“Yeah. Fermented water is my favorite.” While saying so, Tokino attempts to pour beer into his glass, but the bottle is empty. “Tut!” He clucks his tongue, stands up, and walks to the refrigerator. Was he listening to me?
“Where did you previously belong to?” While opening the refrigerator door, Tokino looks at me.
“Well ...” I smile. “In the abdomen of my mother.”
Tokino has his lips curved even more, and looks up at the ceiling once. I feel that it is quite an honor to have my joke understood. That is the way it has got to be, for it is for beginners.
“It is the last bottle for tonight.” He gets back to the table with the beer bottle.
“I’ve got enough.”
“Are you humbly declining the offer?”
“Humbly? What a nostalgic word.”
Tokino’s hair is longer than mine. His body is far bigger as well. His hands are also huge and rugged. It is somewhat like a hand of a skeleton, I think.
“When you are firing shots, do you feel good?” While putting his lips on the glass once, Tokino asks.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you feel as if the bullets you have shot are absorbed into the target’s body?”
“No.” I answer. I am looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t see the enemy when shooting bullets.”
“You don’t see, you say?” Tokino frowns.
“That’s a waste of my time.” I drink up the rest of the beer.
“When you shoot, do you pray, or something?”
“No ..., I search for the next target. If I have time to see the bullet trajectory, I should look around and see behind me. I get more benefits by doing so.”
“Hmm, you think so ...” He nods. “That sounds nice. That makes sense. I will do that myself next time. But, you did not learn that in military school, did you? They taught you to gaze into the enemy, didn’t they? Didn’t the manuals mention things like, ‘Such tenacity would decide the victor of the battle’?”
There is no way that such spiritualistic things are written on the text.
“If the bullets do not hit the target, that shouldn’t be a problem.” I sigh. “It does not matter, as long as it does not fire back at me.”
“Is it nonsense that you are saying?”
“I don’t think so ...”
While doing this job, my body has learned several things naturally. Among them, that method of attack that I implement is one of the few ways that I can express with mere words. I mean, as soon as I intend to shoot the machine gun at the target, I should already be seeing the next target by that time. It is very simple at the surface of the words. In short, seeing the immediate target which I am just about to fire at is a complete waste of time. Such a defenseless moment is too much of a risk for the pilot. After realizing that from my experience, I have been feeling better. I have learned not to panic in the middle of dogfights. I do not stop my maneuvers anymore, and can make everything flow smoothly. As a result, I can lessen my fatigue and stress. I can say it is an esoteric technique that I have formulated. However, whomever I talk with about this issue, almost no one takes what I say seriously.
“How about going out tonight?” Tokino suddenly changes the subject. Even though no one else is in the cafeteria, he puts his head near me and whispers in a low voice.
“Where to?” I ask. Of course, I think I can approximately guess what he wants to mean.
“You know, as a formality, introducing you is ...” He is pausing his statement.
“Is, what?”
“I mean, my duty. Probably, I think.”
“Is that where you were last night?”
“No ...” Tokino shakes his head sideways once. But his eyes are glaring at me for a while.
-5-
We have easily got permission to leave the base. As I hop on the back of Tokino’s large-sized motorbike behind his back, we are driving on a straight road that connects the base with a downtown. Although I am wearing my flight suit, it is very cold due to my body being air-cooled. Even so, I do not dislike the feeling of my body being cooled, because from that I feel the ecstasy of my getting closer to the moment of death.
In the middle of the way, we ride on a bank and cross an iron bridge. The river around here has almost no water. Tall weeds are overgrown, and are spread wide under the bridge. When the wind blows, the sheet of weeds ripples like waves as if they were pretending to be the surface of water.
I am wearing goggles and a leather hat. I think its belt on my chin might be leaving the mark, and it bothers me.