I thought I had been asleep for a long time. But I did not have a clock here, and there were no windows, so I could not tell precisely how much time had passed. I was not feeling bad. At least, I felt like the bad mood had settled entirely, and the top supernatant layer was clear.
I did not really know where I was. It was neither the base quarters nor a hospital.
I felt like I had a lot of dreams.
After I escaped from the hospital, I drove away with a woman with a husky voice. If I remembered right, I was shot in a phone booth at the station. At a drive-in restaurant, a drunken man tried to pick a quarrel with me. I got off the train at a station at a mountain pass, and a woman came to pick me up in her car. A man asked me some questions in a room that looked like a hospital. I looped the loop with a biplane. I went through a tunnel and saw a beautiful fighter aircraft. I could not tell if all these things were a dream or reality.
But, now I got my feet off the bed and put on my shoes. My shoes were placed right where my feet landed. These shoes must be mine. The fact that I’m in this place probably means that almost all of them were not in a dream? Anyway, no matter how much of this is reality and how much is a dream, I have to come to terms with what is in front of me right now.
I was lucky, because at least I have not woken up in the morning and found myself having become a cat, an insect, or another creature. I gazed at my hands. They were human hands. My hands were small. I am often told that I have thin fingers. Who tells me that? I cannot remember. With my little hands, I rubbed my face once as if I were washing it. Oh, that’s right. I have to cut my hair. Where would I find the scissors? But first, I wanted to smoke a cigarette. My jacket was on the bed, so I searched the pockets. There were a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in it. I looked around, but there was no ashtray. Maybe it was a non-smoking area. I decided to be patient.
There was another thing in the jacket pocket. It was an identification card. It had my picture on it. And an identification number. But there was no name on it. It’s the same as part numbers, and the system uses the numbers for reference. The plug is not labeled as a “plug”. It just has a model number engraved on it.
It’s all about who I am. My name is irrelevant to me. If someone looks up my data while referring to my identification number, my functionality shows up. If I am incorporated into an aircraft, then the specifications will be fully exerted. Unless I am already worn out or depleted, that is.
I heard footsteps. I could tell that someone stopped in front of the door. Then I heard a knock.
“Yes,” I replied.
The door opened, and a woman was standing there.
“Good morning.” She greeted. “Did you sleep well? How is your condition?”
“I slept well.”
“What is my name?”
“Let’s see ...” I gazed into her. Of course, I remembered her face. But, I could not recall her name. I shook my head horizontally. “I’m sorry.”
“Never mind. Sorry, I have just asked you an odd question.”
“Umm, is there a place where I can smoke?” I asked.
“Ah, yes. Okay, I’ll show you there. Put your jacket on.”
I followed her, while walking in a dim tunnel. At the end of the passage, we opened the door and went up the steep stairway, which was almost like a ladder.
We entered a small, brightly lit room. There was a window. It was the brightness above the ground for the first time after a long interval.
“Oh, it’s already morning, isn’t it?” I murmured. “What time?”
“Seven in the morning,” She answered. “It’s cold, isn’t it?”
I did not feel it was that cold. We were in a wooden hut about three meters square. The stairs were encased in a wooden box. The lid of the box was open. If you close the lid, you cannot tell that there is a staircase in it. The window was made of glass that had lost most of its transparency.
She unlocked the bolt and opened the door.
I got outside. I could feel the cold air flowing like water. It swirled around me in a small vortex. It was damp. The ground was wet, too. The tall grasses were around me. They were moving in the wind. I saw some trees. The place looked like the top of a hill, but when I looked toward the other side, I saw a river. The place seemed to be on the slope of an embankment.
I looked up at the sky. It was clear, transparent, and blue. The clouds were just floating low in the east. The sun, already above the clouds, was white and dazzling. There was nothing flying in the sky as far as I could see.
I took a cigarette out and lit it. I inhaled, and then exhaled the smoke. The vortex around me was momentarily tainted with smoke. Then, it soon disappeared. In the blink of an eye, it was gone.
“Actually, Hayase was supposed to come here last night.” She spoke. “But he did not make it. I have not heard from him. Something might have happened to him.”
“Hayase?”
“He is the doctor who will treat you.”
“Right, I met him yesterday, didn’t I.”
“I was going to wake you up, if he came here.”
“I slept very well.”
“You were exhausted, weren’t you?”
“So, what’s next?” I asked.
She relaxed her lips.
“An interesting question. What do you want to do?”
I looked up at the sky.
What do I want to do?
“I want to fly,” I answered. “With that Sanka, I want to fly.”
“Right, that’s Sanka.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Go on, please.”
“Why is the Sanka accommodated here?”
“I don’t know. They were barely able to get just one of them. I heard that they maintained it and managed to make it flyable.”
“That aircraft has flown to this place, hasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
I looked at the direction of the river. I could see just the edge of the runway.
“What about fuel? And weapons?”
“Sorry?”
“Do you have them here?”
“Yes. I can’t say we have enough of them, though.”
“If so, I can fly.”
“Where to?”
I looked at the sky again.
“To the sky.”
“But you have to come back eventually.”
At that time, I had the notion that it was okay if I could not make it back alive.
If I can die while flying.
How can I do that?
Carrying a gun, flying up in the air, if I shoot myself in the head.
That way, the plane will stay that way, remaining intact.
I felt as if I could stay in the sky for all time to come.
I felt as if I would never fall forever.
Smoking a cigarette, I walked a little.
When I reached the top of the slope, I found a road barely wide enough for a car to pass. With a gentle curve, the road separated the forest from the plain. The field was flat and seemed to stretch to no end. There were no houses nearby. I could see small black forests, here and there.
I looked up at the sky once again. A bird was gliding with its wings spread out. I stared at it.
“Are you watching the bird?” She stood next to me.
“That bird will soon start its descent,” I said.
Three seconds later, the bird went into a dive as it fell to the right. It folded its wings and descended at a steep angle toward the ground. Raising its body horizontally near the ground, the bird flitted above the meadow with astonishing speed. Finally, as it spread its wings wide to apply air brakes suddenly, the bird disappeared. Then, in the next moment, it was flapping and rising at a gentle angle. The weight of its prey was evident in its angle of elevation.
“How could you understand that?” She asked.
“What?”
“When it started descending.”
“I do not understand such a thing.”
“But, you just said ‘soon.’”
“It will descend sometime.” I looked at her and smiled. “I mean, it flies for that reason.”
From the same hut we used to exit from the underground, we went back to the basement and had a meal. There were eight of us in the dark room. Another young woman brought soup and hot water in pots. Everyone ate in silence, quietly. I looked at everyone, and our eyes met. I seemed to be the center of attention.