The supper was also frugal, but I was not dissatisfied with it at all. She opened a wine bottle and drank it. She offered it to me, but I did not take it. I was about to be drunk just by the scent.
I heard a small electric sound. She stood up and walked toward a wall. Then, she picked up the receiver. I had not noticed that the telephone was there. It was hidden in the books that were piled up.
“Yes ...” With a cautious look on her face, she replied.
She took a look at me. She did not smile. She was listening over the phone for a while.
“From now?” She checked the clock. “Oh, umm, of course, I can. But what will we talk about?”
Then, she kept silent again.
“Okay. I suppose it will not take long ... Well, do you know the address? Yes ... right. Okay ...”
She put the receiver back to the phone, and walked toward me.
There was no table in the room, and we were using a stepladder, which she brought from the kitchen, and which was placed between the two of us, as a table. I was sitting on a wooden chair, and she was on a wooden crate. She took the wine bottle from the floor and poured it into the glass, which was on the lower tread of the stepladder. She sipped the wine.
“Someone is coming here at such a late hour. Talk about having no common sense.”
I looked at the clock on the wall. If it was right, it was 15 minutes to 20:00. I did not think that a visit at that time on the clock would not be so thoughtless. However, it might be considered to be out of common sense in this region.
She tilted the glass and drank up the red liquid. I noticed that the skin around her eyes were turning pink. I thought she had already drunk a lot. The bottle was black, and I could not see inside it. I could not tell how much she had consumed it.
I said nothing. I thought she would tell me what I should do. So, I just waited.
“I think you can hide in the loft above.” She said.
“Okay.”
“You know, it is cold in the hangar.”
“I don’t dislike it. I can hide in the biplane.”
“No, that option will be more dangerous. The potential visitor might say he wants to see what is in it. However, if he decides that he wants to check out a lady’s bedroom, I can deny it, right?”
“Who is coming here?” I asked. I was not interested in the topic, but I felt I had to do so as a courtesy.
“He works for a newspaper company.” She said briefly. “Well, his name is, Somanaka? I think that’s what I heard. Do you happen to know him?”
“No,” I answered. “I might recognize the one if I see the face. But, I hardly remember people’s names. I cannot recall even aircraft names. Place names, neither.”
“Do you remember my name?”
“Sagara.”
“Thank you.” She smiled. “What is my first name?”
“Aoi.”
“I’m glad. Am I somewhat of a special entity to you?”
“Maybe.”
She sighed. Then, she raised the bottle and was about to pour it to the glass. But, she looked at the clock in the middle of the process, and gave it up.
“How soon will he come here?” I asked.
“He made a phone call at the station. So, it will still take more than 20 minutes from now.”
“By car?”
“No one can come here by any other means of transportation.” She stood up. “So ... Are you done? Did you eat enough?”
“Thanks. Yes, I’m full.” I stood up. “I will put them away.”
“No, I got this.”
We brought the glass and dishes to the kitchen. She washed almost all of them. The water was shockingly cold, to the extent that it nipped my hands.
I went up to the attic and wrapped myself in the blanket. While climbing up the ladder, I saw her putting on a pair of glasses. Despite getting drunk, will she pretend to have been working?
After that, I became sleepy and dozed off. I was not in bad condition. Since I ate unusually much food, I felt my body was heavier, more or less. But I need not worry about my weight if I don’t get on an aircraft.
After all, I no longer have anything to do with anyone. I am just an existence that a scientist is interested in as a kind of specimen like a fossil. I am here probably because she needs to collect data for her experiments, I thought. I was not dissatisfied with that notion at all. I felt no inconvenience about it. If I cannot pilot an aircraft, then I have nothing that I want to do and nowhere to go. I have no one to want to meet and nothing that I want to buy.
I lay down, pulled the blanket to cover the lower half of my face, and stayed still.
Why am I still living?
I think it is mysterious.
Even though I want to do nothing, is it okay for me to live?
I am neither sad nor lonely.
No anger. No indignation.
Happy things and joyful things are already far from me.
I might not need emotions anymore.
I am just living like a machine.
But, I feel that such a way of living is pure and comfortable for me.
Conversely speaking, why do we have the thing called emotion?
We think about things that do not exist. Selfishly, we get angry or feel sad.
Then, we try to tell others about them.
People who have settled in the swamp called earth.
While we mix with each other.
Such a surplus.
We ended up being wrapped in sticky substances.
Now, I still do not have such stuff.
Thanks to that, I feel free.
If I choose to live in this muddy swamp from now on.
Will I become a sticky being before long?
The sticky substance makes my body heavier and heavier.
In the case, I will never be able to fly anymore.
Aside from that.
Before I fall into such a situation.
I want to fly to the sky, just once more.
Then.
There.
Is it possible for me to die?
Ah, it is so wonderful to the level that I make a sigh.
Splendid.
Indulgence.
I want such a serene thing.
But, I was no longer in the position that would allow me to choose the option.
The current version of me has sunk in the swamp completely.
Too late.
I’m afraid that I seem to have to admit the fact.
I am no longer a child.
I cannot be a child forever.
It is natural, eh?
The usual thing, this is.
When I closed my eyes, I felt as if my body were floating in the air.
I’m sinking now, aren’t I?
I’m in the middle of sinking.
I will soon reach the bottom of the swamp.
My head went down, and my legs were lifted. I felt such gravity.
I repeated my breath slowly.
I had a premonition that I would see the illusion of being shot.
I want to be shot.
I want her to shoot me.
I want to experience the heat within my heart just once more.
The cold, wet glass.
The bullet, which had penetrated my body, made a web-shaped crack on the glass.
Blood.
Red.
Hot.
My body slipped off.
Stalling.
Flying inverted.
Dive.
The sound like howling echoed deep in my ears.
It was gradually getting louder.
What sound is this?
Is it the sound generated within my body?
My heart beat like drums and echoed like machine guns.
When I opened my eyes, the sky spread there, as I expected.
The windshield was clear. No misty part and no crack.
Clouds.
White.
Cold.
Inversion.
Is it the direction toward the ground?
Toward the black ground.
Rolling.
Looking back.
A propeller and a cowling.
The engine is in good condition.
I looked at both wings. The white vapor streaks were streaming at the edges.
Zipping through the air, I was descending.
My body was about to float up from the seat.
My right hand resumed the grip on the control stick.
I seemed to have been dreaming.
Where is the enemy aircraft?
Flying inverted.
Up.
My body sank deeply in the seat.
Half-rolling.
Looking around.
Half-rolling again.
Searching for the opponent.
Where did it go?
There is no place to hide in.
Gone.
No sign of it above me.
I checked below me again.
Downward was the least visible.
I strained my eyes.
The thin white streak was moving.
That’s it.
I felt relieved.
Yes, I have just brought it down.
I shot the one with my right hand.
I had forgotten about it.
How many times have I repeated it?
When I come to, I’m moving subconsciously.
I’m fighting unconsciously.
Maybe, I knew that method would allow me to do it faster.
My instinct bypassed my will, and I was flying reflexively.
Then, I came to, or I recovered consciousness.
I was struck by the feeling as if I had been dreaming.
It was like the sensation after I had had a long dream.
The heart beat fast.
Having trouble breathing.
My body had been in an extreme condition.
But my mind had been sleeping.
I could no longer remember what the dream was about.
For the time being, I was descending while turning. I watched the falling enemy aircraft. Right, this was the last one. Then, I was also the final survivor on my side. There was no aircraft in the sky, except for mine.
It became tranquil.
I am alone now.
As I repeated breathing, I sweated profusely.
I could not remember how I could finally win the tight dogfight. In short, the opponent was formidable by that much. Right, judging from the roughness of the flight, the pilot was likely to be young. If he were more refined, he might have been much more formidable. To have to encounter me was such a misfortune for the enemy pilot. But I was not sure. It might have been fortune. I might have been the unlucky one. That day might have been the best day for me to go down. As I thought so, I started chuckling.
What is so funny?
I am getting drunk.
I transmitted a pulse radio signal to communicate with the airbase, but I got no response.
Anyway, I had faith in the magnet, and decided to return toward the direction that the compass indicated. Check the meters. No sign of malfunctioning. I took off the goggles, and felt that my hair was cold like a slug.
I rubbed my eyes.
Then, when I opened my eyes again, the gray wall was in front of me. My right hand was grabbing the edge of the blanket.
-7-