“Figures,” Aikawa said. She gazed at me for a while before her expression grew cynical again. “Say…you didn’t really care either way, did you?”
“…”
In regards to what and what?
There were so many possibilities, I had no idea what she was referring to.
Even so.
Whatever the intent of her question, there was only one possible answer.
“Nah.”
“Figures,” Aikawa said. “Well, I’ll see what I can do about Sasaki, see if I can get her to drop the charges on you.”
“Charges? What charges?”
“Falsifying information in regards to the Emoto case, encouraging Aoii’s suicide, not to mention concealment of evidence, plus withholding the truth and having that little rendezvous with Atemiya. Normally they’d have your ass for all that, which I’m sure you were well aware of, but I’ll take care of it for you. I suppose even if I didn’t, Kunagisa would, but I want you to owe me one.”
“Sasaki said something of the sort too.”
“I’ll bet. I taught her that line.”
“You don’t say.”
Lately I was up to my ears in debts owed to various people for their favors. And it hadn’t even been five months since I’d returned to Japan. Would even the remainder of my life be enough time to repay everyone?
I probably didn’t have much of a choice.
“Well, see you again,” Aikawa said.
“Are you sure you will?”
“Oh, I think so. I have a feeling we’ll be meeting again real soon.”
“I don’t suppose that means you’re going to show up again the very next day to hang out, like last time…”
“I told you, I’ll be in Hokkaido from tomorrow… It’s some risky-ish job. Not sure I’ll make it back alive this time. I’m pretty excited.”
“You don’t die even when you’re killed.”
“You neither.”
With that, she said “So long” and left the guest room. It was an extremely simple farewell, like we really were going to see each other again the next day.
“…”
We probably would at some point.
And surely, flashing a sarcastic smile all the while, she would drag out my insides once more. And no doubt, she’d finish another tale that was already finished.
She would solve what was already concluded─
And conclude what was already solved.
Because that was the red contractor’s role.
That, indeed.
That, truly.
“No one’s as finished as you are, Aikawa.”
It wasn’t like me, but I vaguely thought: I don’t mind being killed if it’s by her.
“Now then…”
I stared up at the ceiling. When I jumped with my arms stretched up, it looked to boast twice that height. In terms of volume, this room was somewhere between five and ten times the size of my lodgings.
That aside.
“I think you can come out now, Kunagisa.”
“Augh,” leaked a voice from somewhere, but she made no effort to show herself. It looked like she intended to continue playing dumb. How could someone so smart be such a simpleton? Then again, it was a lot better than being a stupid simpleton like me.
“If you don’t come out now, you’ll miss your chance. Do you want that?”
“Urr. It’s hard to time these things.” As she spoke, a plate opened in the ceiling, and her face peered out. She snickered guiltily. “Teheheh. You knew all along?”
“Yup-yup. I think Aikawa noticed too.”
“Aww. What’s the point of this secret passageway, then?”
I don’t know what she was thinking, but she proceeded to dive down at me as if she were at a swimming pool. I might reiterate at this point that when I jumped with my arms stretched, I only got halfway to the ceiling. At the same time, I couldn’t just dodge out of the way, so I took the impact straight in the gut.
“Iichan, you okay?”
“Like I would be.” With my fingers broken, I couldn’t guard myself and had been reduced to a human cushion. “Tomo… Please, get off. I think you crushed some ribs.”
“Request denied.” She hugged me and pushed me all the way over. Though fairly reminiscent of Aikawa’s maneuver from the other day, it was also different, much nicer. A heartfelt embrace, if you will.
Squeeze.
“Eheheh. I missed you! I love you!”
“I appreciate that you missed me…”
Kunagisa was totally guileless. Having eavesdropped on everything I just discussed with Aikawa, she still hugged me like this.
I had cruelly cornered two people but let a serial killer be. Yet Kunagisa wasn’t the least bit reproachful toward me for it.
“…”
Aikawa had misunderstood just one thing.
It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t possibly figure me out down to my essence. By no means do I consider myself a deep person, but I’m aware that I’m so sinful that there’s no seeing through the murk. Not even the contractor could glimpse the bottom.
It wasn’t because I was afraid Kunagisa would judge me that I didn’t want to have that sort of discussion in front of her. It was because she would not judge me that I never wanted to expose my ugliness or ego to her.
Hers was an all-embracing love. Unwavering, undiluted affection.
Even if I killed a person with my own hands, she’d probably forgive me.
She would love me all the same.
To me, that love was just a little bit too heavy. It threatened to crush me.
Her affability, open and liberating.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t like other people. I just wasn’t able to be liked.
No matter how much love Mikoko showed me, all I could respond with was disdain for a murderer. No matter how much her feelings for me inspired her actions, all I saw was plain murder.
Hence a defective product. Hence, no longer human.
“…Nonsense.”
“Hmm?” Kunagisa lifted her body up just a bit to give me a puzzled look. “You say something, Iichan?”
“Nah, I’m not saying anything.”
“Huh. Oh, that’s right. Iichan, wanna take a trip with me?”
“A trip? That’s pretty rare coming from a shut-in.”
“Umm it’s a huge hassle, but I’ve gotta, to help someone out.”
“Ah… Okay, let’s do it. I haven’t been seeing much of you lately.”
“Yep!” She wore a gleeful smile. The only expression available to her, it was still more than I was capable of.
Not being able to return a smile with a smile…does make you feel inferior, Tomoe, I thought with a fair dose of self-deprecation.
“When do we leave?”
“There’s a lot I need to take care of first, and…Doctor Kyoichiro’s place is so far! But it’s to rescue Satch. It’d be better to go after your wounds are all healed, so I’m thinking early in July.”
“Okay, gotcha.”
“Mark your calendar.” Hur hur, she laughed.
I remembered something. “Hey, Kunagisa. Do you know what ‘x over y’ means?”
“Huh?” She bent her neck. “What’s that? A formula?”
“A dying message… Well, not really, but think of it as one.”
“Hmm.” She thought for a second. “Oh, is it in cursive, by any chance?”
“Yeah.”
“Then it’s simple. Just look at it in the mirror, then rotate it,” she said as if it really was that simple.
“Correct,” I told her.
What was going through Mikoko’s mind when she left it? Left it by Tomoe’s body like some kind of dying message? All you could do was guess, but then you could.
Mikoko probably hadn’t wanted to kill Tomoe.
And of course, Muimi hadn’t wanted to kill Akiharu.
“While I…”
Maybe I’d wanted to kill both Mikoko and Muimi. After all, the me on the other side of the mirror was a serial killer.
“…”
Either way, I fully accepted the symbols she’d left behind along with its contradictions. So that was that. Too bad it could only ever reach the other side of the mirror, and that the mirror had fallen to pieces.
A world had fallen to pieces. In which case─
I looked at Kunagisa.
When would it be my turn to fall to pieces?
Two more years, that accursed ascendant had prophesied, but since she was an even bigger liar than me it was unlikely she’d spoken the truth. I, myself, doubted that my spirit would hold out that long anyway.
Maybe my spirit, but not my heart.
Whatever the case, my time was sure to come. A time you might call my very final judgment.
“Uhm? What’s wrong, Iichan?”
Kunagisa blinked at me with those big, pure pupils. That azure hair.
Exactly the same as five years ago. And now it was five years later.
Sooner or later, the time would come.
Unable to bear the heaviness, I would want to smash this girl.
That impulse.
“…………”
─Even then, she was sure to forgive me.
Killed or smashed, she’d forgive me. Just like five years ago, she’d show me an innocent smile as if nothing happened.
Being forgiven isn’t the same as being saved.
Nonsense though it may be. Before such a thing happens. Not for passion, but just doing what you ought to do out of primordial self-interest.
Please. Hurry and─
“Tomo.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
I tried saying it.
Entirely empty words, without substance, that anybody at all could utter, a vocabulary lacking mass.
“And I love you,” laughed Kunagisa.
That was all there was to it. Ultimately, there was nothing more to it.
“That’s the Ikkun I love”─and thus, “I wanted you to save me.”
I had just one response to that, no other words I wanted to convey to Mikoko.
Likely, they were the same ones Tomoe had for me. Indeed they suited me best.
“Don’t be so spoiled.”