“If I may take a moment to introduce myself...my name is Makina Oda, and I’m a member of class 2-A. I’d like to thank all of you for coming to see our performance today.”
It was an inoffensive, boilerplate sort of statement. That said, Yuna was right—these really were the first words that I’d spoken onstage as Makina Oda. I’d delivered countless addresses as Maki Amagi, and she had a wealth of statements and anecdotes I could draw on, but I was coming to realize that Makina Oda had none of her own. I had an almost shockingly small number of things I felt I could actually say.
“And...as Yuna said a moment ago, I think I really might be a little nervous. I imagine that some of you have seen me perform under the name Maki Amagi as part of my work in the entertainment industry, but it’s true that this is the first time I’ve openly performed under my real name since...elementary school, probably, when I went to audition at my agency. Frankly, I barely remember it at all.”
What had Yuna and Rinka talked about during their turns? I should have listened to them and followed their example. I hadn’t, though, and when I forced myself to say whatever came to my mind on the spur of the moment, I ended up delivering a self-centered monologue that was totally devoid of substance.
“I understand very clearly now just how much I owe to my agency and the other members of my group. I’m far less capable on my own than I ever realized...and while I thought that my experience would let me elevate the work of my classmates in this performance, the truth is that I found them helping me instead, time after time.”
What on earth am I even saying? Nothing that would ever come out of Maki Amagi’s mouth, that’s for sure. The me that the world wanted—that my coworkers wanted—never whined or complained. She stood at the front of the pack like it was the only place it made sense for her to be, pulling her teammates forward as their intrepid leader.
But then, just when I thought I’d spouted enough platitudes to make it through my speech safely...my true feelings overflowed.
“That’s doubly true for my fellow performers, Yuna and Rinka. I’ve spent the past month and a half coaching them, yes...but in retrospect, I’m not sure they ever needed my help at all.”
“Oh, come on,” said Yuna.
“We wouldn’t be up onstage right now if it weren’t for you, Makina. I’m sure of it,” Rinka added.
The two of them had wasted no time in backing me up. It was a very light, low-impact exchange, and a few people in the audience laughed, maybe because that sort of humility was so unlike Maki Amagi. They might have thought it was a joke—but it wasn’t. I was being entirely earnest. I said it because I was genuinely impressed by them...and because, deep down, a very small and cowardly part of me wished that I had slacked off on training them.
“We only have one song left to share with you today, but I promise that I’ll put everything I have into it. I’ll rise to meet the expectations of everyone who helped make this possible,” I said, bringing my speech to a close before I could let anything else slip out on accident. I turned my gaze downward...and was reassured by the sound of the audience applauding. I let out a sigh of relief, careful not to let anyone notice, but it wasn’t over yet. There was still one song left.
I’d never felt this sort of anxiety before. I’d never felt this sort of nervousness—this overwhelming urge to leap off the stage and run away. That was probably because those were my feelings, not Maki Amagi’s.
“Well, then, it feels like we only just started, but the next song will be our last,” said Rinka, tagging in now that my speech was over.
“That’s right,” said Yuna, “and we’ll be finishing things off with an original song that everyone in our class helped us write!”
“You might say it’s the bonds of our class in the form of a song...which probably seems a little cheesy, I know, but nevertheless. It’s a song that we hope will show all of you why class 2-A is the best!”
“Don’t look away—you won’t want to miss a second of it! Right, Makina?”
“Right...” I said. “Thank you for listening to our final song: ‘After Adventure.’”
Those words served as the band’s signal. The drummer counted us in, and the song began. I still hadn’t made sense of my feelings. I was as bewildered and anxious as ever, but I’d practiced for this moment more times than I could count. The choreography was deeply ingrained in my muscle memory. As the music played, the lyrics would spring to my lips with a will of their own.
So it’ll be fine. It’ll be fine...!
“After Adventure”—a name specifically written out using the English alphabet, to draw attention to the two capital A’s. In other words, 2-A. The instrumentals were an arrangement of a song that I’d written previously, while the lyrics were brand-new.
The song’s most impactful moment came right after the second chorus, going into the third verse. There would be instrumental solos courtesy of the band, after which Yuna, Rinka, and I would each sing a solo of our own before coming together for the final chorus. It felt a little too jam-packed, if anything, but I preferred to think of it as aggressive—or rather, adventurous.
My solo... I thought as I sang. Would I be able to pull it off, in my current state? Yuna and Rinka had both improved so much. They were good, genuinely, and they were enjoying the performance from the bottoms of their hearts. It was a solo that would have to beat them. A solo that could win me Yotsy. A solo...that could cause me to lose her forever.
And then, before I knew it, the moment had almost arrived.
The second chorus was over. The band members took their turns in the spotlight.
I’m scared. I hate this... I keep imagining the worst possible outcomes...and at this rate, they’ll really happen!
“It’s all right.”
I felt a warmth on my shoulder...where it turned out Rinka had laid her hand.
“It’s all right,” Rinka repeated. They were the same words she’d said to me just moments before, but this time, I noticed that her hand was very slightly trembling. Her gaze was fixed straight forward, but there was a stiffness to her expression now.
“Yeah. Let’s just do our best. No regrets, right?” said Yuna, who patted me on the back next. She was trying to help me be a little less tense...or maybe she was trying to distract herself from her own nervousness?
That’s right. The two of them are amateurs. They normally wouldn’t be up onstage at all. Plus, they have something precious to them riding on the outcome of this performance as well.
And I was the one who’d put them in that position. If I’d never transferred into their school, they would still be wrapped up in the same placid routine as ever. The cultural festival would have come and gone without incident.
I knew that the two of them felt all the emotions you’d expect from a normal, well-adjusted person. They felt fear, and nervousness, and agitation...not to mention anger and resentment toward me, surely. They must have been even more distressed by what was happening than I was—so how could they stay so true to themselves in spite of it? I could understand them trying to distract themselves from their own anxiety, but why would they go out of their way to dispel mine as well? Why would they lend their enemy a helping hand?
“Oh, and then there’s the obvious. Right, Rinka?” said Yuna.
“Right,” Rinka agreed. “We have the world’s greatest goddess watching over us.”
“A...goddess?” I muttered in bewilderment. Their eyes were shining with joy as they looked out into the audience—no, up. I followed their gaze, and at that exact moment, as the band’s solos came to an end, I heard her.
“Makinaaa!!!”
“Ah...”
There it was. The voice of my goddess. Her shout of encouragement pierced through the din of the crowd, clear as could be.
Yotsy. Yotsy...! Yotsy!!!
I really was incredibly simple. I’d changed far, far less since I was a child than I let myself believe. All the anxiety, fear, and confusion I felt were because of Yotsy...and that was why, from the moment I’d set foot on the stage, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to look at her. What sort of face would she be making? Was she disappointed with me? Would she stop liking me after this? I was so worried, so scared, that I just couldn’t look up at her.
But then I heard her. She cheered for me, and I knew in an instant exactly how she felt.
That was all it took to sweep away the churning darkness within me, revealing the world in all its colorful glory. Yotsy, the girl I loved...was watching me!
It was ridiculous. How simpleminded could I be? I always worried that Yotsy was so blindly trusting that she could easily be taken in by someone with a silver tongue and bad intentions, but considering how easy it was to play me like a fiddle, I was in no position to worry about her. All it took was hearing her voice—realizing how she felt—to lift the weight that had seemed like it would crush me off my back. I’d never realized how easy to manipulate I was until that very moment.
Listen to me, Yotsy! I want you to hear my songs...and to understand my feelings for you!
I felt so light, it was like gravity had lost its grip on me. My heart was beating with such a heated fervor, it felt like it might explode. She’d only said one word—just my name—but that was all I’d wanted from her. My fears, apprehensions, and even all thoughts of the contest that had given rise to them were blown clean out of my mind. It was like I’d gone through my own personal big bang, rewriting the world and everything I’d thought I knew about it.
Yotsy!!!
Moments before, the thought of my solo had terrified me, but now I leaped straight into it. I sang and danced with everything I had...and in that moment, I was happier to be standing onstage than I’d ever been before.