“So, that’s the whole story! What on earth should I do now?!”
It was the day after I’d met Mio. The very serious predicament that I’d very carelessly stumbled my way into was far too weighty for me to bear on my own, and so the moment the afternoon break began, I went out to find a certain upperclassman and spilled the whole story to her, from start to finish!
“I don’t know how you’d expect me to know what you should do, whether I have the whole story or not,” that upperclassman said with a shrug that told me she really just couldn’t be bothered.
Her name was Akane Hishimochi, and she was both the president of the Sacrosanct fan club and also one of the very few third-years—or rather, the only third-year—who I was acquainted with. I’d called her out more or less on a whim, and had ended up meeting with her in the student guidance room yet again. That might seem like an odd choice for me, but, I mean...the place was always abandoned, right? It really was pretty convenient, in all sorts of ways.
“I really think it’d make more sense to talk to Maightingale about this sort of thing than me, don’t you?” the president asked.
“Maighting...? Oh, Koganezaki! I already did, actually. She said, ‘Don’t know, don’t care’ and left,” I explained.
“Oof, yeah, she would. Cold and coolheaded as ever, that girl.”
“It really is just like her, isn’t it? But I figured that since you’re the opposite of coolheaded, talking to you instead might make sense!”
The president paused. “Was that supposed to sound like an insult?”
“N-Naaah, no way! I just meant you’re friendly and enthusiastic, of course,” I replied in a stilted monotone.
The president gave me a long, hard stare, her eyes half closed behind her glasses, and I broke eye contact. “For crying out loud... You really never change, do you, uhh... Wait, what was it again?”
“What was what?”
The president paused. Again.
“Your name.”
“Huh?! You mean you forgot?!” Now that hurts! I’d thought that the president was the one upperclassman I was acquainted with, but apparently as far as she was concerned, we hadn’t even reached the acquaintance level!
“N-No, not like that,” said the president. “I remember your name. Of course I do. It’s just...”
“Just?”
“I gave you, y’know, a nickname or something, right? That’s the part I forgot.”
“Ahh...” Okay, I actually forgot that one too. I feel like it involved the word “band” in some way or another, but that’s all I’ve got. “Okay, but do you really have to use a nickname? Couldn’t you just use my actual name instead?” I proposed.
“Absolutely not!” the president snapped.
“Huuuh...?”
“Do you have even the slightest clue how socially awkward I am?! And you expect me to just come out and call you by your actual, real-life first name?!”
You’d almost think I was the one being unreasonable, from the way she laid into me. I hadn’t actually said anything about her using my first name, for the record—my last name would’ve been just fine too. It wasn’t like I was an idol who worked on a first-name-only basis or anything.
“Wait,” I said, “I thought you were super sociable, actually? You’re so cheerful and chatty and stuff!”
“You only think that because you’re seeing me on a surface level,” said the president. “You might say that’s how I defend myself. If I keep talking nonstop, then I’ll never have to deal with any awkward silences, and it makes me look nice and friendly too, right? Even if I do catch people saying stuff like ‘Man, Hishimochi just never shuts up, does she, lol’ behind my back later on sometimes...”
“Ugh?!” Just hearing about that bit of gossip was excruciating. Though, to be fair, pretty much any behind-the-back gossip was painful for me to listen to. You might even say that sort of gossip was my greatest weakness.
“But if I had my way, I wouldn’t talk to anyone. I’d love to shut myself up in my own little world, all alone...but that’s not on the table, right? So I figured that at the very least I could be as superficially friendly as possible, and, well, calling people nicknames is a pretty friendly sort of shtick, right? Or, I mean...I kinda hoped it would be, I guess...? Ugh, sorry, I’m being such a pain...”
Ahhh! The president’s losing momentum at record speed! I had no idea that her nickname for me was that important to her... If she’d just told me, I would’ve made a note about it on my phone or something!
“You’re not a pain at all!” I insisted. “I mean, I do stuff like that all the time too!”
“Put a sock in it, Miss Has-A-Social-Life...”
“Ugaaah?!”
O-Okay, yes, from a broad societal perspective, I probably would look like a socially fulfilled normie, what with the being-in-a-relationship thing and all. But that was just luck! By nature, I live in the deepest, darkest depths of the social trenches! Even if it was just her trying to protect herself, her bright and cheery attitude was way more impressive than anything I’ve ever pulled off!
“I-I know!” I said. “You can just give me a new nickname right now, okay?! We can’t un-forget the first one, but we can start fresh instead!”
“A new nickname...?”
“And I’ll call you by a nickname too! Like, uhh...”
I did, in fact, remember that the president already had a nickname I’d used in the past: Mocchi. That, however, was a nickname that she’d told me to call her—I hadn’t come up with it myself. Considering I was asking her to think up a new nickname for me, it only seemed fair for me to think up a new nickname for her too!
Let’s see... Nicknames, nicknames...