Chapter 16

As the little ones headed for the field for their basic training course after breakfast, Willem took over the kitchen. He put an apron over his Guard uniform, wrapped a kerchief around his head, and lined up on the table the big batch of ingredients he bought at the morning market. And he baked a big butter cake. Willem believed that the most valuable thing in battle was imagination. What were the exact conditions of the victory one had in mind? What sort of events could one suppose would happen just before and after those conditions were met? And what sort of conditions were necessary for the path leading to that goal? He believed only those who could prepare in their mind for every possibility were the ones who could make that future a reality. As a veteran, he never let his guard down. He saw everything through this lens, for example: First, there was no questioning that the littlest faeries at the warehouse would want to eat the cake, too. Though he would try to reason with them, saying this was Chtholly’s incentive and reward for coming home alive, it would still be difficult for all of them to accept it. But Chtholly was not the type to hog a whole cake to herself under such circumstances. She would most certainly want to let the other girls have some. And so, in order for Chtholly to have enough butter cake for herself, he had to bake at least some for other people. So how did that turn out? Once the day’s basic training was finished and when the exhausted little faeries gathered in the dining hall, they squealed like animals. The hall was filled with a sweet scent, and sitting on the table was a large, freshly baked butter cake, steam faintly rising from it. Its lure was enough to blow all the reason out of excited little girls’ minds. Their eyes glinted like those of wild animals, and it looked as if puddles of drool would at any moment come dripping out of their slackened jaws. Just as the girls, now transformed into hungry demons, were about to jump on the cake— “We still keep our manners when we have a snack, remember?” said Nygglatho, the true hungry demon, smiling brightly. The girls sat down quietly in their chairs, waited patiently until everyone else had received a slice, then after they said their before-meal prayers together, they all grabbed their forks and brought a bit of cake to their mouths at the same time, their eyes sparkling delightfully in unison. Great, the first round of suppressive fire was a success; now, it was time to go straight into concentrating the bombardment onto Chth— But as he looked around the dining hall that was now filled with great energy, he realized the most important, cerulean-haired faerie was nowhere to be seen. “Chtholly is probably in her room,” Nephren told him as she munched on her cake, her eyes still glistening. “Why? I thought I just told you to go get her.” “Well, y’know, she gets weirdly stubborn about stuff like this.” Ithea, her chin resting in her palm, whirled around to look at him. He’d heard about this before. Chtholly Nota Seniorious never ordered dessert when she ate in the faerie warehouse dining hall. He thought she must not like sweet things, but on the contrary, it didn’t seem like that was the case. “That’s because Miss Chtholly is a grown-up,” Tiat had said proudly, as though she knew what was going on. She meant that it was childish to be excited by dessert, and it was adult women who said calmly, “No, thank you.” That in itself was a pretty childish way of looking at things, but he wasn’t going to say that out loud. “She’s too proud,” Ithea had said with a playful smile. She was saying that she was putting on the boldest front she could muster as the oldest faerie in the warehouse, so that she may seem and act like the eldest and so that the younger ones might consider her reliable. And he thought that sounded a lot like something she would do. And so, at any rate, none of the faeries who lived in this warehouse had ever seen Chtholly eat sweets. “Well, it’s not a big deal. You should hand deliver it to her room yourself, Officer, and spend some sweet, sweet time together.” “Don’t be crude.” He poked Ithea’s cheek. Ten minutes later—Chtholly’s room. “…So how come you’re the only one who didn’t come to the dining hall? Even though you’re the centerpiece of this whole thing?” “Um, well, that’s because… I don’t really like the other girls watching me when I eat stuff like this…” “Yeah, and why?” “Because it’s, y’know, kinda childish! Especially since I, um, apparently get really expressive when I eat this stuff. I just thought maybe I shouldn’t act like that in front of the kids since I’m the oldest.” It was the very reasoning he’d gotten a grasp of and the very answer he was expecting. Siiiiiigh. “Why are you sighing?” “Just thinking about how you obsessing over little stuff like that makes you sound even more like a kid.” “Wha—?!” Just as Chtholly was about to jump up from her chair, Willem placed a plate with a slice of cake before her. It gave off a soft, sweet aroma. The anger vanished from her eyes, and she immediately slumped back into her chair. “Shall I pour some tea for you as well, young miss?” He chuckled as he placed a fork beside the plate. “…Butter cake?” “Yep.” He didn’t know why it had to be a question, but he nodded anyway. “…There are nuts mixed into the batter?” “Thought it might be a nice change for the flavor and consistency.” She took a good look at the cake slice from both sides. “…It looks good.” “It is good.” “…I can eat this, right?” “Of course. Who do you think I baked it for?” He stared at her. She lightly poked the fork into the cake. Like chopping off the side of a mountain, she cut off a bite-size piece. With a shaking hand, she brought it before her face. “……” She readied herself and put it in her mouth. “All right, all right. Okay. I’ll make you eat so much cake that you’ll get heartburn.” He recalled the promises they made that night. Now he was finally able to fulfill his. And at the same time, this girl was finishing in his stead the things he was once unable to do. She returned from her battle to protect them. She came back to the place she belonged. And— She came back to a warm “Welcome home” by those waiting for her. Chtholly’s mouth moved as she chewed. She made a slight sound as she swallowed. “It tastes like butter cake.” “That’s because it is butter cake,” replied Willem, shrugging. A large drop fell to Chtholly’s knee with a plop. “I know… I know this is late, but… I really…I really did make it home, didn’t I…?” It had almost been ten full days since Chtholly and the two other faeries returned to the warehouse. It had been over two weeks if he counted the time since the battle itself had ended. And yet it was only now that this girl had fully grasped that truth. Willem never saw the battlefield on Island No. 15 with his own eyes. And so he did not understand how heavily this promise had weighed on Chtholly. He had no idea, meaning all he could do was guess. “You did well.” All he could do was toss some trite, sympathetic words her way with a dumb look on his face. “Yeah… I… I did really well…” The tears spilling from her eyes quickly dampened her sleeves. “I’m sorry… I… I don’t know how it tastes anymore… I think it’s probably good, but…I can’t think of any other words…” “I see.” Chtholly’s shoulders quivered. Willem sat beside her, thinking. What would have happened if he were in her position? Basically—well, of course it was entirely impossible—had he been able to keep the promise he’d made with Almaria, what would’ve happened? Had he protected what he wanted to, gone home to the place he wanted to, then eaten his fill of her exquisite butter cake as proof of that, then what would he have done? He probably would have cried his eyes out without a worry for shame. He probably would have rained a relentless hurricane of hugs and kisses on all the kids in the orphanage. They all probably would have called him annoying or too forceful or gross and tried to push him away, but he still would have never let them go. “There’s more if you want some. You can stuff your face to your heart’s content, okay?” “Yeah…I know. I know, but my heart just feels so full.” She hadn’t had much more than two bites. Oh well. Willem smiled wryly and lightly patted the top of her head. She didn’t yell at him for treating her like a child. “I said it yesterday, and it really is kind of late, but— Welcome home, Chtholly.” “Oh…” The fork slipped from her hand. After a few hiccups, Chtholly slowly raised her head. Her deep cerulean eyes were overflowing with tears. “I’m…home…” Chtholly pushed her forehead onto Willem’s stomach. He could feel how hot her tears were through the fabric of his Guard uniform. “I said it…” “Yeah, you did. And I finally heard it.” He lightly patted the back of her head. Chtholly sobbed as she clung to Willem, her body shivering in what must have been more than simple happiness. 4. Warm Days in a Cold Season He’d heard that the end of the hallway on the second floor was leaking recently. When he went to go see for himself, he saw how it might need a little handiwork. Since they’d have to call in someone from town later for proper repairs, all he had to do now was just some emergency patching up— “…Hmm?” Willem, staring at the ceiling, tilted his head. “What is it? Did you see something off?” Chtholly traced his gaze, but she didn’t spot anything particularly odd. The weathered old ceiling boards were darkened, as they always were. “No, I just felt like something like this happened before.” “Really?” He recounted his memories. “” He couldn’t pick out any specific one that was like this. “I think the last thing you repaired was a wall that Collon kicked in.” “That’s not exactly what I mean, but… Eh, whatever. If I can’t remember, then it means it probably wasn’t important.” Willem tilted his neck to either side, cracking it. “Yup, the boards and nails I used last time are still here… Hey, you know where the hammer is?” “Didn’t you ask me that before? Did you forget already?” Now that Chtholly mentioned it, Willem thought she was probably right. “Oh, sorry ’bout that. You know where they are?” Chtholly said with a smile, “What are we going to do with you?” She opened her mouth to say something— “” “…Huh?” There was no doubt in her mind that she should know where the hammer was. So then why couldn’t she think of where it might be? “What’s up?” “I’m sorry, um, uh…I think…I forgot, too?” “What, you too? We sure got ourselves a slippery hammer.” “Y-yeah…” Chtholly nodded hesitantly. She felt a faint chill, but she told herself it wasn’t a big deal. “Well, we probably don’t need to worry too much about it. Since we both forgot, all we need to do is just ask some unrelated third party, yeah?” “Yeah…yeah, you’re right.” Willem was kind. He wasn’t exactly awkward in the way he treated the girls. It was more that sometimes he had no idea what he was supposed to do; yet when he stayed near them, it was always clear he was doing his best to be considerate of them. She could feel it. And that made her want to stay by him. She wanted to snuggle up close to him. She wanted to fawn on him. She forced herself to smile. “Let’s go. It’s probably in one of the supply closets either here or downstairs.” “Yeah, okay.” Willem turned around and walked off. Chtholly stared at his empty left hand. Would he be surprised if she ran up to his side and grasped it? She…didn’t think he would refuse, but would it give him a good impression? Now that she thought about it, she remembered when Nephren was hugging his arm on Island No. 11, and while he didn’t resist, he did seem a bit troubled by that. She hated the idea that he might make the same face if she held his hand. She started to walk, half a step behind him, still worrying about it. “Wooooooow…” Tiat, peeking only half her face out from the corner of the hallway to watch, grew excited. “They’re so much like grown-ups…” Lakhesh, also peeking only half her face out from the same corner, flushed red. “Well, y’know what it means when she’s a half step behind him. They’re not acting reserved or anything; they just don’t know how to close the distance between them when they’re alone.” Ithea, doing the same as the other two, was astonished. “I can hear everything you’re saying!” Chtholly called out to them in a loud voice, and all three of the stacked faces slipped back behind the wall. Five days had passed since she woke up. There didn’t seem to be any visible problems with Chtholly’s physical health for the time being. Though she hadn’t exactly decided to go with Nygglatho’s suggestion, there was nothing else for her to do now that she could no longer fulfill the role of a faerie soldier. She took the time she used to fill with her own training and all that and went straight into investing it in other things. Namely, instructing the younger faeries in their training, helping Nygglatho, and whatnot. She scooped some of the soup in the ladle and gave it a taste. She could feel it tingle the tip of her tongue. It wasn’t bad. But when she considered how rich it would get after she added the mutton to it, she thought that maybe a sharper taste would be better. She chopped some herbs and sprinkled them into the pot. “…Another meat dish with lots of spices? Sounds like a favorite of someone I know.” Ithea sniffed the air as she spoke. But Chtholly kicked her out, her reason being, “No one is allowed in the kitchen besides the day’s cook!” Incidentally, this rule applied only to the faeries, so Nygglatho and Willem, and now Chtholly (acting as Nygglatho’s assistant), could use the kitchen as they liked. The veggies that would go along with the soup should probably be boiled to be a bit sweeter. At the very least, the little faeries would like that better, but she did not quite have enough information to judge if it suited the tastes of the man in question or not. Well, there wasn’t much she could do about it. She would just make it as an experiment for today, then serve it as is during mealtime and see what his reaction was. Better today than tomorrow. Better tomorrow than the day after. As long as she kept maturing like this, she would one day become the person she wanted to be. “I don’t think it’s fair you get to hog the kitchen all to yourself just so you can capture some guy’s heart and stomach!” She heard the yell coming from just outside the kitchen, so she threw the ladle to chase her away. The girls ran. They’d heard that they would be able to see some comets in the northern sky. The weather was nice that day; the air felt crisp. There was no way they could miss even more color in an otherwise already clear, starry sky. The question was where they should be to watch them. From the big window in the dining hall? From the windows in the children’s rooms? From the bench in front of the main entrance? No, no, watching the sky in such boring spots was of no importance. They had the best front-row seats. The faerie warehouse sported a roof. Large amounts of laundry fluttered on it during the day, and at night, it could serve as the premier observation deck. The girls dashed about restlessly. They shoved past one another as they made their way down the hallway, each fighting for the best spot to be enwrapped in the stars. Then— “Hold! It! Right! Theeere!” Tiat yelled, running after them with a towel in hand. “We’re supposed to dry our hair right after getting out of the bath! Otherwise we’re gonna get sick!” She was right. It was the truth. But kids acted with little regard for what was right or true whenever something caught their interest. That was especially the case for young faeries, who paid no heed to their own well-being. The girls ran, their wet hair streaming behind them. Beads of water flew everywhere. Tiat followed behind. “I! Told! You! To! Waaait!” She grabbed on to one, pulled a bath towel over her, and began to scrub her catch’s head vigorously. But the other girls simply kept on running. Tiat would never be able to catch them all. They could hear Tiat struggling from the outside of the warehouse. “She’s really acting like the big girl she needs to be, huh?” Willem expressed his admiration as he sat on the bench, gazing up at the night sky. Tiat was still around ten years old, still on the short side, with limbs to match; plus, her thoughts and actions were still childish. He thought it was a bit unexpected—and Chtholly did, as well—that the little Tiat was acting like one of the older girls. But it wasn’t enough to surprise him. He saw through the tricks. “I think she’s copying me.” Chtholly chuckled. “I was chasing those girls around like that not too long ago.” “I see. Now I get it.” Still gazing up at the sky, Willem’s eyes drooped gently. Chtholly also looked up to the same sky and then quickly stole a glance at Willem’s profile. For now, he seemed perfectly relaxed. Chtholly’s heart was pounding rather noisily from sitting beside him on the same bench, but that didn’t seem to be the case for this man. She felt strange—slightly resentful but, at the same time, comfortable as they were. “Oh yeah, that’s what it was like when I first met you. Man, I know it wasn’t long enough ago to feel nostalgic about it, but you know what I mean?” “Huh…?” —End less gla ss bea ds fall ing down. “Oh yeah, never got to ask, did I? Why were you on Island No. 28 back then anyway?” … “You really need to be invested in Market Medley and stuff like that to visit it for sightseeing. I guess you were fighting a Beast or something nearby and stopped off on your way home, huh?” …… “The buildings there are all jumbled together this way and that, and it’s not very safe, either, so all sorts of nasty stuff ends up falling from the sky. It’s usually kettles and oil cans, but sometimes it’s a chicken, which is a big help with dinner.” ………What? “But that was my first time seeing a girl fall from the sky. I was pretty surprised.” …………What is he talking about? She didn’t know this story. Though she could imagine it must have been some sort of precious memory, she couldn’t find it within her own memories. She hadn’t forgotten. And it wasn’t missing. The girl she thought she knew she was, was no longer there. “…Chtholly? You okay?” “Ah… Um…” She didn’t know how to answer. She wasn’t confident she could accurately describe the odd feeling that was running through her mind if she tried to put it into words. No, she was more afraid of disillusioning Willem if she did. She was terrified that he would realize she was not worth holding dear with the way she was now. “I, uh…” What was that? What had she been thinking about? Willem was worrying about her. She had to look up at him and say she was okay. She needed him to stop worrying. She couldn’t have him suspect her. She couldn’t have him realize something was off. She couldn’t let him know the truth. What was off? What was the truth? She didn’t know. She didn’t know, but it was important. That was a line she couldn’t cross if she wanted to stay Chtholly Nota Seniorious. “Hey.” Willem peered down at her dubiously. Ding. There came an ominous metallic sound from above them. She looked up instinctively. The outside of the warehouse roof was surrounded by a metal rail. But not only was it not a particularly nice-looking rail, it was deteriorating and rickety, and there was the dangerous possibility of it breaking under just the slightest weight. Everyone had been pretty busy recently, and they kept putting off fixing it sooner rather than later. They spotted a little girl at second-floor height, having just fallen into the air from the roof. She was especially small, even among all the little faeries. Her hair was a messy lemon-yellow. (Almita?!) She wasn’t that high up, but on the other hand, it wouldn’t take long until she hit the ground. If they ran from where they were, they would not make it in time. Willem dashed off. He didn’t use that speedy something-sweep technique. It was too far of a distance. A skill developed especially for traversing short distances quickly could not be used for anything just a bit farther than its limits. But there was no way he could make it in time on his flesh-and-blood leg strength alone. Chtholly used her Sight. She could see the magic beginning to fire up inside Willem. (Urgh, that idiot—!!) She kicked off the ground. Willem’s body was covered in old wounds, to the point where Nygglatho had even commented, “It’s strange how you’re alive.” For him to activate his venenum with a body like that was suicide. And this man was going to commit suicide with a straight face in order to keep his precious girls safe. So she activated her own magic first. She spread out her phantasmal wings, a blue-silver phosphorescence scattering around her, gliding through the air at about waist height. She surpassed Willem as he ran, twisted her body around to face the sky, and spread out her arms; she caught the girl’s body in her bosom just as the girl was about to hit the ground and curled around her. Chtholly crashed to the ground. Impact. But a body in motion does not stop so easily. She hit the ground countless times, tumbling as she did so, and finally stopped when she hit the wall of the faerie warehouse. “…Phew.” She wasn’t going to say she wasn’t in pain. But her activated venenum had protected her body, and she couldn’t spot any obvious wounds. The girl in her arms looked to be in a daze but seemed fine otherwise. “Chtholly?!” Willem rushed over to her, his voice strained. “Sheesh… You sound like you’re about to cry. Aren’t you an adult?” She stood up and brushed off the dirt that clung to her shoulders and the hem of her clothes. “I’m fine. See? Almi… Um”—she gently rocked the girl in her arms—“the girl is fine. She got a little dirty, though.” “That’s not the problem here! You overdid it! Are you dizzy?! Can you feel your fingers?! No weird sensations running down your spine?!” He grabbed her shoulders and pressed closer. “H-hey, you’re too close! I appreciate it, but this is wrong! Try it again!” “Listen! Magic is a contradiction to our life force. Activating it is just the same as abandoning the very energy that’s keeping you alive. You can’t call yourself a sorcerer without a mechanism to step in just before you die!” Of course she knew that. That was the first step of first steps, most basic of basic logic for anyone who consciously used magic. “And a leprechaun’s strength to live is scant in the first place. So even without a restriction on your life force, the magic you can create is incredibly strong.” “Yeah, so—” “That was different!” he yelled, his voice pained. “What the hell was up with the way you activated it? It was so reckless! Leprechaun or not, you’d normally be dead the moment you did that!” “Oh…” Now that he mentioned it, he was right. It was the first time she realized that. Activating venenum was like kindling a fire. One needed to spend time carefully handling a smaller flame to raise it in order to wield the power of a roaring blaze. It was not meant for responding to spur-of-the-moment situations. At the very least, it shouldn’t be. It wasn’t enough to be reckless or dangerous. Logically speaking, there was no way she should have been able to pull that off. “I… I thought…I was going…to lose you…again…” “Oh geez.” Her head had been feeling funny for the past while, and she had a lot to think about, and Willem’s face was too close to hers, and looking at him like this, she realized how long his eyelashes were, and she started noticing other stuff like that, and she was starting to hate it. “Calm down.” She lightly smacked his cheek. And she smacked her own while she was at it. She, too, needed to calm down. “First, I need to say the same thing to you. If I hadn’t done it, you would’ve done it first. That thing where you force your magic to activate and run really fast. I was watching, okay? I could see it.” Willem’s breath caught in his throat. “And I’m fine. I’m not dizzy, and my spine feels okay. My fingers feel a bit tingly, but it’s not like I can’t move them at all. It’ll get better pretty quickly.” “You’re not putting up a front, are you?” “Don’t you believe me? Sheesh.” She grinned and removed herself from Willem’s grip on her shoulders. She looked up to the roof. Just as she suspected, the railing was completely broken. Tiat was on her hands and knees beside it, looking down at them, her eyes brimming with tears. “It’s okay—I caught her!” Chtholly waved up to her, and Tiat beamed. “But it’s still dangerous up there, so no one is allowed on the roof for now! Take all the children there back downstairs!” “O-okay!” Tiat scrambled to her feet and corralled the group of children still on the roof. Chtholly figured she probably didn’t need any help with that. “Well then, I’m going to draw this girl a bath. You go help Tiat.” “Oh… Okay…” Willem nodded, perplexed. Luckily, there was still plenty of warm water left in the washtub. There was no need to gather more from the river or use venenum to boil it again. And so, just as Chtholly said she would, she put the girl into the bath. She massaged the foamy liquid soap into her frizzy, lemon-yellow hair. Her thin, fluffy locks had gotten mangled with quite a bit of dirt from rolling on the ground. Chtholly had to wash it thoroughly. “Uh, um…” The girl, her eyes squeezed shut, hesitantly began to speak. “I’m…sorry.” “…You should be apologizing to Tiat, not to me. If you’d have listened to what she said, this wouldn’t have ended up so serious.” “O-okay… I’m sorry.” Is she even listening to me? That was what she was thinking, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. It was typical for girls Almita’s age to lose track of what they did once they shrank away from the reality that they’d done something worth reprimanding. And since the girl felt no fear for having almost lost her life in the first place, she probably had no idea why everyone else was so angry with her like this. Every living being had a natural instinct to survive. Yet leprechauns lacked that and were still alive. Chtholly thought again how odd it was. She suddenly looked up. There was a large mirror in the bathroom at the faerie warehouse. When Nygglatho first came to the warehouse, it was one of the things she installed, insisting, “Whether weapons or not, young girls should always look their best!” There were plenty of other things that were added when she came, but those were for another time. “…Hmm?” Something was strange about her reflection in the mirror. Red. Something was red. It was her hair. It was just yesterday…no, just a few hours ago that only a small section of her hair was red, but at some point, it had spread to almost a third of her head. What was going on? Nygglatho mentioned that some semifer races changed color as the seasons changed or as they matured, but Chtholly felt like this situation was a bit different. Their hair would fall out and grow back a different color, not change color while it was still attached to their bodies like this. So really, whatever was happening to her was something completely diffe— The girl with the red eyes is looking this way. This feeling… Images, both absurd and unknown, flashed before her eyes. That’s right. She remembered now. She looked like someone who wasn’t her. She felt a baseless hatred and a sense of loss, and— “…Elq…?” She remembered the name. She remembered nothing but the name. “Wha…? What…is…?” Her body shook. Her eyes spun. “Chtholly?” The little girl, her head still covered in bubbles, turned back dubiously and looked up at her. What was this girl’s name again? She didn’t know. Was she supposed to know? She was one of the thirty-some residents here in the faerie warehouse; she was supposed to be a precious member of her family. Why? How? “Are you cold?” No. She wasn’t cold. Something else entirely was freezing her heart from the inside. But she didn’t know what it was. She couldn’t put it into words. She wanted to hear her warm welcome home. She wanted to announce her return. She wanted to eat butter cake. All her wishes came true. She came home to the place she was meant to be. She saw the man she wanted to see so dearly. She had done everything she wanted to do. And so— She was out of promises. The end that had been shadowing her silently placed its hand on her shoulder.