He flashed a cheery, upbeat smile.
“Come on, now. Really try to rack your brain for me. Think about the sorts of things she’s been saying and any subtler emotions that might’ve peeked out from beneath her cool and composed exterior. Doesn’t anything come to mind? Anything at all?”
“What are you trying to say, exactly?”
My drowsiness had long since left me at this point, and in its place was a swirling vortex of emotions: suspicion, jealousy, indignation. He was talking about her as though he was in on some sort of secret that I was totally oblivious to. And I hated that my gut was telling me he wasn’t just blowing smoke this time.
“What do you know about Ushio, huh?”
“Easy on the crazy eyes, there, Sakuma. You’re lookin’ a little unhinged.” Sera tapped his temple with his index finger and said, “C’mon, use your head, big guy. I really think this is one you should try to figure out for yourself.”
“Man, stop playing mind games with me already…”
“Wasn’t trying to. Heck, I don’t even want to talk about Ushio anymore. Didn’t I tell you? It’s Natsuki-chan I’ve got my eye on now.”
The carton crinkled beneath my fingertips as I reflexively gripped it tighter. Why did this guy seem to always know exactly how to push my buttons? First, he’d get me going with all these vague insinuations about Ushio. Once I was riled up and irritated, he’d bring up Hoshihara. I could see what he was trying to do here, but that didn’t make it any easier to contain my frustration.
“All right, I’ve had about enough of you!” I snarled, getting right up in his face as though I was about to grab him by the collar.
Sera raised both his hands, as if to say he didn’t want any trouble, all while staring down at me with a provocative gaze. “Ooh, scary! How come you always get so worked up when it comes to Natsuki-chan, huh?”
“Maybe because you only ever bring her up to get a rise out of me!”
“I mean, it works, doesn’t it?”
“I’m gonna sock you in the mouth.”
Sera let out an exaggerated sigh and shrugged. “I don’t know why you’re so defensive of her, Sakuma. Is it that you still have a crush on her, or what?”
I could feel my face growing red-hot. It was hard not to flinch at him taunting me with my own unrequited feelings—even if they were a thing of the past now. Yet I couldn’t let him know that he’d hit me where it hurt, so I had no choice but to bluff it off.
“Oh, screw you,” I said. “It’s not like that anymore.”
“Not ‘anymore,’ eh?” said Sera. “So you admit that you used to.”
“No, that’s not what I… Ugh, never mind. I’m done talking about this. It’s ancient history at this point. Now stop changing the subject and tell me what—”
Only then did it hit me: Why was I even arguing with this pathological needler? Wouldn’t the best strategy be to shut the hell up and be on my merry way? I needed to get out of here ASAP. Sure, I’d let him pique my curiosity about Ushio and get under my skin about Hoshihara, but I couldn’t afford to let this conversation continue any longer. Not only was it a waste of time, but it was actively planting new and unnecessary seeds of anxiety in my mind. I didn’t want to spend my whole class trip jumping at shadows thanks to this prick. I still had the power to bail myself out.
“Actually, y’know what?” I said. “Forget it. I’m outta here.”
I pushed past Sera and stomped off, vowing not to turn around under any circumstances, no matter what tactics he might employ to stop me. But as I rounded the corner out of the little vending machine area, I nearly bumped into someone.
“Whoa!”
It was a girl in a comfy, oversized hoodie with her hair tied off in two small pigtails. She was a full head shorter than me too—but I recognized her face, even if it was flushed a far deeper red than usual.
The girl was Hoshihara.
“Oh, hey! Natsuki-chan! What perfect timing!” Sera exclaimed, peeking over my shoulder. “We were literally just talking about you. Not sure if you heard any of that, but Sakuma here was telling me about how—”
I whirled around at the speed of light and covered his mouth with both hands, dropping my carton of Soft Katsugen in the process—but that hardly mattered right now.
“That’s enough,” I hissed under my breath. “If you wanna continue this stupid conversation another time in private, we can, but you leave her the hell out of this.”
Sera nodded a couple of times, and I removed my hands. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I’ll hold you to that.”
He pulled away, then turned to look at Hoshihara.
“Welp, guess I’d better get going! You two have fun now!” he said, waving as he walked off toward the staircase. This left me and Hoshihara standing there awkwardly.
“Er, yeah, I should probably get going too, ha ha… Sorry to interrupt!” she said, attempting to laugh it off as she turned to leave.
“Wh-whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on a sec!” I frantically called after her.
As she slowly shifted back around, I could see the utter discomfort written all over her face.
“D-did you overhear what we were talking about?”
“Uhhh… Part of it, maybe?”
“What, um… What parts, exactly?”
“Everything after you said you were going to sock him in the mouth…”
I could have clutched my head in my hands and fallen to my knees right then and there. There was no talking my way out of it, then—she’d also heard him ask me if I still had a crush on her. Ugh… This sucks, man! My breathing grew shallower and shallower as waves of misery, shame, and hatred (directed at Sera) washed over me, and before long, I was sweating profusely.
“B-but it’s totally fine, I swear!” Hoshihara tried to reassure me. “I’m not, like…weirded out by it or anything! Honest!”
Great, and now she’s trying to console me.
This was dealing unprecedented psychic damage to my ego, but I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. At least she’d only found out about this now and not any earlier, I told myself. The fact that I was dating Ushio should’ve been more than proof enough that any feelings I had for her in the past were no longer at play. So maybe this wasn’t the worst-case scenario after all—especially since Hoshihara herself was telling me it didn’t bother her. In which case, perhaps the smart thing to do was to act like it really wasn’t a big deal to me either…even if it kind of was, deep down. All right, yeah. That ought to work. I think I can handle this.
“Besides,” said Hoshihara, “I’ve kinda had a feeling for a while now…”
This casual addendum completely obliterated my newfound poise.
“H-had a feeling about what?” I asked. “Wait… Since when?”
“Oh! Uhhh…” Hoshihara covered her mouth with her hand as if she’d just made a huge slip of the tongue. “Sorry, just…forget I said that!”
“No, no, no! Now you have to tell me! You can’t drop a bomb on me like that and expect me to be able to sleep tonight!”
“Oogh…”