“I was on the way back from a little errand when some scary gentlemen decided to spend some time with me,” I said, shrugging. “Sorry to leave you here feeling lonely.”
“I didn’t say I was…”
“Now here’s a question for you,” I said, spreading my arms. She pouted. “The most handsome man in all the land stands before you. What do you see?”
“A degenerate kept man,” she said at once. “Slovenly with women, profligate with money. A worthless man beyond saving.” Her answer was so accurate and left so little room for argument that all I could do was grimace. “Also, you’re not as handsome as you claim to be…”
“Uh, pardon? That’s news to me.”
I had no idea Arwin felt that way. Holding back tears, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a medicinal pill.
“Here’s a magic pill the doctor made for you. It will ease all your worries. I believe he called it a ‘decompositioner’ or something like that.”
It actually had a much longer and more complicated name, but that was what Nicholas called it for me, so I followed suit.
“So it’s an antidote?”
“The poison itself won’t go away, but it will erase the black spots on the surface of your body. One pill will work for two or three days. Just don’t take too much.”
Her eyes widened. She snatched the pill from my hand and stared at it.
“With this, you’ll be able to attend the feast. However—”
Before I could finish my sentence, she had popped it into her mouth and swallowed. As usual, she had no thought for safety.
“It tastes bitter. And my body feels heavy,” she said, rubbing her chest with a grimace on her face.
“That’s a side effect.” Every medicine could be poison. There was no such thing as a perfect medicine that only had benefits. At least, that was what the doctor had said. “You should see the effect in a little while. If you’re not feeling well, you should probably get some rest.”
“Good idea.”
Too much had occurred that day. I was exhausted and in physical agony. I needed sleep.
“Matthew!”
Arwin practically kicked my door down in the morning.
“If you’re coming for a morning tryst, I would prefer a little more bashfulness and reservation.”
“Look, Matthew!” she said, ignoring me and pulling her hair up to expose the back of her neck. “They’re gone. They’re gone! I can’t believe it…”
She seemed agitated, but her behavior was born of joy and shock. She was so beside herself that she’d probably strip if I asked her to do it.
“I hate to throw cold water on your excitement, but here’s a warning,” I said, trying to continue what had been interrupted last night. “No one can know about that pill. You understand why?”
The fact that she had the medicine at all would be the key to unraveling her secrets.
“As I told you yesterday, it lasts for two or three days. Once that’s over, the spots will come back. But you shouldn’t take too much, or it’ll worsen your condition. Think of it as something that’s reserved for special occasions when you need it, like this one.”
“Understood.”
It wasn’t for regular use. In day-to-day life, it might not be an issue, but Arwin had a higher calling to conquer the dungeon. Any kind of irregularity in her condition could be life-threatening.
“Also, this medicine doesn’t go well with alcohol. It dilutes the effect. So don’t drink while you’re taking these pills.”
Arwin nodded solemnly.
“Also, it should go without saying, but you can’t have any candy while you’re using this.” It would be utterly foolish to take the poison and the cure at the same time.
Once my explanation was complete, Arwin gave me a long look.
“What’s the matter? If you’re grateful, tell the doctor, not me.”
“Why do you keep finding me the things I want?”
“I’ve always been good at searching.”
That wasn’t a lie. I often found what I was looking for. Mom’s missing needle was on the floor of the kitchen. Dad’s coin purse was in the chicken coop out back. My brother’s cat was up in the tree.
“Once more, here’s a question for you.” I clapped my hands. “The most handsome man in all the land stands before you. What do you see?”
“A degenerate kept man,” she said again.
When I looked downcast, she giggled.
“The kept man who keeps me alive when I can’t do it myself.”
A few days later, the feast was held at the lord’s mansion.
Not only did he send a carriage for Arwin, but he even arranged for a dress and the attendants to help her change into it. The intent to honor the heroic princess knight was clear.
It would be easier to change at his mansion, of course, but one never knew who might come snooping around, trying to get a look at her. She preferred to be cautious.
“You look dreadful, though.”
“Shut up!” snapped Ralph. The entirety of Aegis was invited as well, being the companions of the hero. Ralph had shown up in the formal wear the lord had arranged for him, and it was not a good fit. Clothes did not make the man.
Noelle was also in male formal wear. She could have worn a dress, but she refused, claiming it would interfere with her ability to provide protection.
Nicholas had declined the invite, but the Maretto sisters were going to meet up with the group at the feast. They would be attending with their own private wardrobe. I wondered what kind of costumes they’d sport.
Upstairs, the princess knight was changing, converting to just princess.
“She’s taking a while.”
“That’s just how it goes.”
It was an outfit for a noblewoman. There was never enough time. Plus, Arwin’s fashion sense wasn’t exactly in line with the rest of the world’s. She might be demonstrating a unique standard of beauty that had the attendants wondering what to do with themselves.
“Part of a man’s worth is his ability to wait for a woman to change,” I was explaining helpfully when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. They didn’t belong to Arwin, however. I turned around to see one of her maids, who looked fretful.
“Lady Arwin calls for you.”
At her request, I ascended the stairs and entered her bedroom.
Arwin was sitting at her dresser. She turned around.
I exclaimed in wonder. With makeup on, her skin was even more radiant than usual. She wore a strapless white dress and a jade necklace around her neck. Her shapely lower legs were exposed, and white shoes adorned her feet.
She looked like a goddess.
Arwin averted her eyes unhappily. “Don’t stare at me.”
“I can’t obey an impossible order.” How could I be forced to tear my eyes from such beauty? “So what did you want?”
“Do my hair.”
I’d once been involved with a woman who worked as a handmaid to a noblewoman. She had taught me many ways to tie up a woman’s hair. Not long ago, I’d even done some of it for Arwin and April.
“It will be faster and look better if someone else does it.”
All I could do was an amateur’s imitation. I couldn’t match a professional. If they were sending maids out to help her with this, they would know what to do. She shouldn’t need to ask a clumsy oaf like me.
“I want you to do it,” Arwin said. “Please.”
“Got it.”
Once she set her mind to something, she wouldn’t change it.
I washed my hands and combed my fingers through her hair, working it out until it was smooth.
“How would you like it?”
“The way you did it before.”
“Ah, yes.”
That was a chignon, fastened with a flower pin. She had long hair, so bundling it up would make everything around her hair feel fresh and new.
“There, done.”
In the mirror, I saw Arwin exhale with a far-off look on her face.
“You sure you wanted it like this?”
It was a pretty good job by my standards, but I was certain she could get a better shape or more volume from a professional. They could give her a more complex and fanciful hairstyle, too.
“This is what I want,” Arwin said, satisfied. “I want this.”
The princess knight had unique beauty standards. But I had to admit it felt good to see her so happy with what I’d done for her.
“It’s almost time.”
She needed to leave now, or she’d be late. I saw her off at the door.
“You’re sure you’re not coming?” Arwin asked.
“I didn’t get an invitation. It’ll probably arrive in about three years,” I said, putting on a disappointed face. The truth was, if I showed up, it would only make a mockery of Arwin. Even before becoming a kept man, I was an unsavory figure. I wasn’t meant for the spotlight.
“I’m off, then. Take care of the house while I’m gone.”
The carriage pulled away into the sunset, carrying Arwin and the others to their destination. Then I was alone. I didn’t have anything to do, so I stretched, figuring I’d go back inside to drink, when I heard footsteps approaching.
“Has she already gone?” asked Nicholas, sweating profusely.
“Yes, and quite happy about it. She was humming to herself with a skip in her step.”
“Did you give her those pills?”
“…I did,” I said, responding to his reproach with a harder edge. So he’d realized. Well, he was bound to find out eventually. I was just happy he hadn’t figured it out until she was off to the feast.
“I warned you it was only in the testing stages.”
“We didn’t have time to wait.”
She was going to have a dungeon sickness relapse. I just wanted Arwin to be at ease.