As Ottilie lost consciousness due to the massive hemorrhaging from her artery, she saw her life flash before her eyes. All of those memories were ones related to Henriette.
She saw the memory of what happened when, as a young child, she had been taken by her parents to visit the Bassenheim family manor. That was when she had first met Henriette. Ottilie was shy around strangers and had been hiding behind her father, clinging to his back. Henriette, who was two years her elder, approached her. The first words she said to Ottilie were “That hairstyle is cute.”
Thinking back on it now, the words weren’t that significant. Ottilie was sure it was the way that Henriette spoke, her voice, her appearance, her soul…that was what charmed her. She was instantly captivated by Henriette, a slave to her love. Ottilie still wore the same hairstyle that Henriette had complimented back then. And whenever she had free time, Ottilie would visit Henriette and spend time with her.
Henriette never refused her. Together, the two of them played, talked, drank tea… Ottilie thought Henriette must have enjoyed those times too.
However, when Ottilie turned twelve, a change occurred. She heard that Henriette was going to be joining the army and would be leaving home soon. The Bassenheim family was said to be what they call a military aristocratic family, and it was customary for the next head of the family to become a soldier in each generation.
Even among her family, Henriette was a genius who could wield Genocide Arts better than anyone else, partly due to her unique constitution. Once Henriette joined the army, Ottilie wouldn’t even be able to see her for a while, much less touch her. But Ottilie was a typical young noble lady. Though she admired Henriette and had a taste for swordplay, she was nowhere near as skilled as her. There was only one thing that Ottilie could do at that point: train desperately hard in the art of swordplay with incredible determination and pursue Henriette.
She didn’t lend an ear to the voices of opposition she heard from those around her, not even once. No one thought it would’ve been possible for her at first, but she had literally put her blood and sweat into it, with the effort she put in. She completed training that would’ve made even military elites grumble and give up without crying about it even once, and she even found joy in the acts of self-harm and bleeding that were characteristic of Genocide Arts, saying, “I can catch up to my dear sister.”
Even Henriette was surprised and admiring of how much thought Ottilie had put into it when she had seen her. Even so, it had taken some time before the untalented Ottilie’s enlistment into the royal army was accepted. But her heart’s desire was granted, and she joined the army at the age of eighteen.
Over the next six years, Ottilie diligently honed her skills and rose to the rank of lieutenant general. It was often said that Ottilie’s sexual perversion increased as she polished her sword skills, but according to Henriette, Ottilie actually hadn’t changed that much from before in that regard. Although, while it was thought that Ottilie’s love was unrequited, that was actually not true. Henriette told her, “Once we’re freed from our military duties, let’s live together.” While they had never had any physical intimacy that could be called romantic, their hearts were connected. That was enough.
Yes, that was enough. But…it wasn’t as though she had no other desires, either. Ottilie wanted Henriette’s everything; everything that Henriette had to give. For example, if Ottilie stayed by her side, then she would have the opportunity to experience all of her emotions, joy, anger, sorrow, happiness. For example, the bittersweet feeling, like your heart was pounding, which could be obtained when their fingertips would touch in a chance moment. For example, even lewd acts accompanied by pleasure could be obtained as well, if they lived together.
However, even when she was in the military, she had unfulfilled desires. Henriette was kind. Even during her training, she showed care and consideration for Ottilie’s body, with her kindness. Her kindness was delightful, warm, and loving. However…there was something else Ottilie felt, too.
I want you to hurt me.
I want you to cut me up.
I want you to kill me.
Those things too were part of the “everything” that she wanted her beloved sister to give to her.